Happiness Is Learnable: Todd Patkin's 12 Steps to a Happier Life | 204

What if happiness isn't something you're born with... but something you can learn?

In this deeply honest and inspiring episode of Manders Mindset, Amanda sits down with author, keynote speaker, happiness coach, and former business executive Todd Patkin for a powerful conversation about mental health, perfectionism, burnout, and the habits that create a truly fulfilling life.

From being bullied as a child and struggling with homesickness to building a $100 million business, Todd spent much of his life chasing achievement, validation, and success. On the outside, he appeared to have everything but behind the scenes, the pressure of perfectionism and relentless ambition eventually led him to a complete mental and emotional breakdown.

Together, Todd and Amanda explore the life-changing lessons that emerged from his darkest season, including how he rebuilt his mindset, learned to quiet his inner critic, and developed a practical framework for creating greater happiness, purpose, and peace. Todd shares the 12 principles that transformed his life and explains why meaningful relationships, self-compassion, gratitude, and living in the present may be far more important than any achievement or accolade.

This episode is filled with heartfelt stories, powerful perspective shifts, and actionable wisdom for anyone who feels stuck in the pursuit of "more" and is ready to create a happier, more meaningful life.

💡 In this episode, listeners will learn:
🧠 Why perfectionism can quietly destroy happiness
💔 How burnout and mental health struggles can become a turning point for growth
🏃 Why exercise is one of the most powerful tools for emotional well-being
💭 How negative self-talk shapes self-worth and daily happiness
🌱 The importance of learning to love yourself without achievement
👥 Why the people around you influence your mindset more than you realize
🙏 How gratitude can completely shift your perspective on life
✨ Why happiness is a skill that can be learned and practiced

Timeline Summary:
03:15 – Growing up with bullying, perfectionism, and homesickness
09:45 – Choosing McGill over UPenn and redefining success
16:30 – Building a thriving family business and leading through mindset
22:45 – The breakdown that changed everything
30:20 – Why exercise became the foundation of happiness
37:15 – Learning to be kinder to yourself
44:10 – The power of positive relationships and environment
50:15 – Gratitude, giving, and living in the present
57:00 – Todd's biggest lessons on happiness, self-worth, and legacy

To Connect with Amanda:

Schedule a 1:1 Virtual Breathwork Session HERE

📸 Instagram: @thebreathinggoddess

Follow & Support the Podcast:

📱Instagram: @MandersMindset
👥 Join the Manders Mindset Facebook Community HERE!

Transcript

Welcome And Mindset Framing

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to the Manders and Mindset Podcast. Here you'll find both monologues and interviews of entrepreneurs, coaches, healers, and a variety of other people. Where your host, Amanda Roosevelt, will discuss her own mindset and perspective, and her dad's mindset and perspective on the world around us. Manders and her tests will help explain to you how shifting your mindset will shift your life.

SPEAKER_01 0:27

Welcome to Amanda's Monset, where we explore the power of shifting your mindset to shift your life. I'm your host, Amanda Muse, and I am here today with Todd Patkin. He is an author, a keynote speaker, and a happiness coach.

SPEAKER_02 0:43

Thank you so much for joining me, Todd.

SPEAKER_03 0:45

Amanda, I'm thrilled to be with you.

SPEAKER_02 0:48

So who would you say Todd is at the core?

SPEAKER_03 0:53

Well, I've always been a really sensitive person, a very loving person. A lot of times that gets me in trouble. It can be, we know that your greatest asset is also your greatest flaw. So I believe in people. And because I believe so much, sometimes I've been taken advantage of and hurt. But I just say the number one word, I'd say two words is I'd say honest and loving.

SPEAKER_02 1:19

And you say you've always been honest and loving?

SPEAKER_03 1:22

Yes.

Bullying, Homesickness, Perfectionism

SPEAKER_02 1:24

Can you take us down memory lane a little bit? Tell me about your upbringing, childhood, family dynamic.

SPEAKER_03 1:32

Yeah, I was born in just south of Boston and Needham, Massachusetts. I am a middle child, which I'm very proud of. And I was I'm a Gemini, so I always say middle child and Gemini TNT, baby. Meaning it's just, I love being both of those things because a Gemini, I think, makes you very sensitive. And a middle child does as well. So I grew up, I had an older brother, a younger sister in need of. And I was quite good at sports. I was kind of on the outside of the in-crowd, you know, the popular crowd, but I was kind of on the outside of them, and I'd get frustrated a lot when there'd be parties that I wasn't invited to. Amanda, I was bullied a lot in school and picked on, and that really affected me. And I think it started me on the course of wanting to be a perfectionist because I wanted to prove to the bullies that I could get better grades than them. And so I felt the need to get straight A's in in high school, and that was very stressful for me. I also had trouble with homesickness. I went to an overnight camp a little younger than I probably should, and I had to come home. And all of this followed me to Tufts University. And people say in Massachusetts, if you can't get into Harvard, you go to Tufts. So Tufts was a very difficult school to get straight A's, but I managed to do it, but I made myself crazy doing it. I was homesick. I was still bullied there. I guess I was a target all, you know, my entire life. The one thing that saved me is my dad could tell that I was having a really difficult time. And he said, why don't the two of us join a gym? And in my 12-week program, the first thing I say is, exercise is the most important thing you can do if you're feeling down or unhappy. Because it's the quickest way you can go from anxious and unhappy to feeling very powerful and a lot better. I left the university and I was so blessed I went into the family business, which was automobile parts. And as I said, I'm very sensitive. So my strength is people. And I was in charge of the stores. We had 18 stores at the time. When we sold the company, we had 62 stores. And that was my job was to grow it. And I would hire people my age, young people who didn't know necessarily as much about parts, but really understood working hard. I gave them the chance to earn more money than they ever dreamed possible. And we the competition, I say, was guys with motorcycles. They were guys who loved auto parts but didn't really like people. So it was very easy for us to beat them in business. And we did. We were very successful. So that's a brief bringing you up to uh the age 38 or 40.

Tufts, McGill, And Turning Down UPenn

SPEAKER_02 4:23

Now, did you know in high school that you wanted to go to Tufts? So you wanted to pursue that?

SPEAKER_03 4:29

I actually didn't want to go to Tufts because my entire family went to Tufts. My dad, my brother, his family. I always wanted to be better than my brother. And so I wanted to go to UPenn, which was an Ivy League school, and I got waitlisted and rejected. And so I went to Tufts not wanting to go to Tufts. I was so unhappy at Tufts the first two years that I transferred to a school in Montreal called McGill. And I went to McGill because I had a friend named David Adelman, who went to McGill. And when I visited it, I really came away saying, you know what, Tufts, everybody wants to get A's. At McGill, everyone wants to play a sport, have a girlfriend, and get B's, which for me was great. So I went to McGill and it was just a joy for me. I wound up coming back to Tufts and getting my degree from Tufts because after three and a half years, two at Tufts, and one and a half at McGill, the way the credits went, I would have had to do a whole nother year at McGill, or I could just come back to Tufts and do six months, and I chose that.

SPEAKER_02 5:39

Oh, that must have been a difficult decision, too. You left Tufts, and then you had the debate. Do you stay at McGill or do you go back to Tufts?

SPEAKER_03 5:51

I'll tell you the real difficult decision is when I decided to leave Tufts, I reapplied to UPenn, the dream school, and I got in. But I realized at that point I'd kill myself if I went to UPenn and tried to get A's, because that was an Ivy League school. So that was even a step up from Tufts. So at that point, as much as I wanted to go there my whole life, I chose McGill over UPenn, which I know was a great choice for me. And it wasn't that difficult to go back to Tufts because by then I was so tired of school. Because I needed to get straight A's. And when you need to get straight A's, you burn out. So by being there for three and a half years, needing to get straight A's and being so stressed, it was easy to say, let me just go home. I'll live at home, I'll do six months and I'll be done.

SPEAKER_02 6:41

That's a great accomplishment, though, that you were able to get in to UPenn, even if you never went there.

SPEAKER_03 6:46

Yeah, I think it was great.

SPEAKER_02 6:48

Because it was your dream whether you actually pursue it. It's not like you didn't get the opportunity.

Leadership Style And Sibling Tension

SPEAKER_03 6:54

Yeah. And I even say the greatest accomplishment of my life was graduating from college. And it's not that I wasn't smart enough, it's that I was so stressed out about being homesick and uh, you know, needing such great grades. It was just a struggle every day.

SPEAKER_02 7:10

Did anything help you with your homesickness?

SPEAKER_03 7:14

Coming home. I came home every week, even though we we paid for a dorm room. I'd usually be at the dorm room Tuesday and Wednesday and be home the rest of the week. My parents were fantastic. So even what happens when we're young affects us when we're old. So even when I have a big trip that I need to make, I go to Israel a lot. And let's say, Amanda, that I have to go to Israel for a week without my wife, I get sweaty palms the night before I go. That little kid being homesick comes back to me even at age 60. That happens to us. We still have it. You know, I have a friend who is bullied a lot. And she saw the bully the other day, and she almost died. She she it came back to her like she was a little girl being bullied again. So these things don't go away, they stay with us.

SPEAKER_02 8:08

That makes sense that they do. I'm curious, uh, you seem like you have a great relationship with your parents. How was your relationship with your siblings?

SPEAKER_03 8:18

My relationship with my brother wasn't very good. We were very competitive and we were very different. He was more of an introvert. We worked together. So he was the CEO of the company and I was the president. So I would go around and I jumped off tables when we had meetings like Tony Robbins to get everybody fired up and excited. I'd get down in my hands and knees and beg for sales. Come on. So I was very animated and really a rock star, in my opinion, when I did my public speaking. And he maybe was jealous of that, but a lot of times, and I swore a lot, that's just kind of the way that I am. And, you know, when we had a great year, he'd claim, all right, now let's pull you back a little less swearing, a little bit cra less crazy, but then would have a bad year and he'd say, go crazy again. So it was kind of crazy the relationship we had. And my sister was always much closer with him. So I didn't have a good relationship with my siblings, I'd say. But I had the closest relationship with my mother growing up, and I still do. And my father and I have become very, very close in the later years.

SPEAKER_02 9:26

I gotcha. And no, how was woking and running the family business? Did you enjoy that?

SPEAKER_03 9:32

The greatest experience in my life. I loved it. Loved every minute of it.

SPEAKER_02 9:37

What was your favorite part about it?

SPEAKER_03 9:39

My favorite part about it was hiring these young guys and teaching them how to love life and be good, not only be good at work, but be good husbands and fathers and mothers. See, I was a devotee of Tony Robbins. I don't know how much you know about Tony Robbins, but he was huge in the 90s and 2000s, and he teaches you how to believe in yourself and how you can do great things and how you can focus on being a happy person. And I would have a lot of people in their 20s and 30s who were unhappy, which is even today. You know, they were brought up, you'll always be like your parents, Amanda. Okay? So you won't be what your parents tell you to be, but you'll always be like them. So I had one guy, his name was Barry. Most people I could break. If they were negative, I could break them. And a lot of people felt it was almost like a colour. The way that uh at the beginning of my meetings would play loud music, we are the champions and would chant and we go crazy. But Barry I couldn't break because he said my grandpa was negative, my dad was negative, I'm negative, that's just the way it's gonna be. And you know how I broke him? How? I broke him because he had a son was born, and I said to him one day, Barry, you've completely convinced me that you are like your parents. So your great-grandpa was negative, your grandpa was negative, your father was negative, and now you're extremely negative. Do you really want your son to be that way? And he started to cry, and he said, basically, no, I don't, you know, help me out. So that was really it, a proud moment that I remember.

SPEAKER_02 11:27

Wow.

unknown 11:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:29

As much as all the business, we were very successful. We grew by 20% a year. When we sold the company, we were a hundred million dollar company. You know, we we went from 20 stores to 62 stores. We were very successful.

SPEAKER_02 11:44

How long did you run that approximately?

SPEAKER_03 11:47

I was there for 18 years. And I, you know, I got burnt out just like I did with all everything else. I put too much into it.

SPEAKER_02 11:54

So you sold it, and what was your next step from selling it?

SPEAKER_03 11:58

I

Marathon, Book, And Purpose Shift

SPEAKER_03 11:59

felt like I really needed to stay busy because I was worried about having too much time in my hands and being depressed. So the very first thing I did, and it's very amazing that you asked me this today, I ran the Boston Marathon, which, if anybody in the rest of the country doesn't know, today was the 130th running of the Boston Marathon. I did it when it was the 117th running when I was 37 when I ran the Boston Marathon. Today I'm 60. So that's the first thing I did. I wanted to have something, a challenge. I wanted it to be healthy. I started running one mile, two miles, or up to 26 miles. The other thing I did is I wrote a book. I really wanted to share with people that we all make mistakes and we're all human. And so when we do stuff that you could say is dumb, you're not the only one. Because when you do stuff, whether you're young or old, you feel like you're the only one. So, for example, when I was 18, 17, a beautiful girl, and I was terrible with women when I was young, beautiful girl invited me to her cotillion, which is like a prom. And the first thing that happened is I was wearing work boots. My father says it couldn't be, but whatever I was wearing on my feet, the minute she saw them, she gasped. It was, she was so embarrassed. And then I took her to her cotillion. And the first thing I did to be, you know, impressive is I pulled the chair out for her, and she sat on the floor. It was so embarrassing in front of all of her friends. And so this still bothers me to this day. I'm still bothered by that. And at the time I felt like what a loser, you know, no one else has ever done that. Well, of course, thousands of people have pulled a chair out, but you feel like you're the only one. I was bullied by a girl in my senior year. She ruined my year. And, you know, at the time I thought, geez, what a loser. How could anybody be bullied by a girl? But I'm sure thousands of men have been bullied by a girl. So you feel like you're the only one. You go into a meeting with your fly down if you're a man. I'm sure Bill Clinton and Obama and Trump have all gone into a meeting with their fly down, but you think you're the only one. So I wrote a book about all of my life. I think of myself as lying on a bed like in high school when you dissected a frog. And I'm just letting people dissect my entire life. The plus is I had the greatest, I've had the lowest laws with the greatest highs. So that was the purpose of the book. And that took me almost three years to write it. And then we got into the workbook teaching people how to live a happier life. And then I started speaking and traveling and doing all of that.

SPEAKER_02 14:54

How long ago was it that you wrote the book?

SPEAKER_03 14:57

The book was published in 2012. The truth is, from 2016 to about two years ago, I wasn't doing anything with the happiness. I took some time off from the happiness. I was frustrated because I really felt like I wrote a great book. It won an award for the Jewish book of the year. And but nobody went to Amazon. Nobody bought it. It wasn't in any of the bookstores, Barnes and Noble. The only time I'd sell it is if I gave a speech. And, you know, it's a pain to bring all these books and make sure you're selling them and taking, you know, $20 for every single book that you sell. So I I got frustrated with it and I stopped. And I really went into charity. I was very successful in the business, so I had plenty of money. So I started giving it away. And then I decided to get back into the happiness and the speaking and the podcast interviews like we're doing today.

SPEAKER_02 15:57

Now I'm curious, have you did you always think you would write a book, some sort of book?

SPEAKER_03 16:03

Never. Never. I don't consider myself that smart to write a book.

SPEAKER_02 16:08

But you were I know it was pro perfectionist, but you were getting A's.

SPEAKER_03 16:13

I know, but I don't know what I would write about.

SPEAKER_02 16:16

Okay. So when did you get the inkling or the idea, whatever you want to call it, that you thought you wanted to write a book?

SPEAKER_03 16:25

At

Nervous Breakdown And Getting Help

SPEAKER_03 16:26

the age of 36, I was very successful at work. But I was burnt out and I had a complete nervous breakdown. I was suicidal for three days. I really wanted to kill myself. And the only way I got better was the right medication. So obviously, I'm telling people on your podcast to go to a doctor, don't take my advice. But if you break and you can't get out of bed and you want to kill yourself, I highly recommend medicine. Again, I'm not telling you to do it without speaking to a professional. So the meds got me better, but I said to myself, boy, you were riding so high. You've got more money than you ever dreamed. You've been so successful, you happily married your father, and you wanted to kill yourself. Something's broken. And you can share this example with people to try to help them avoid it. And then I asked myself, Amanda, what are the things that I should be doing habitually that could lead to a better life? See, what happens when you have a breakdown or you have cancer or you have a heart attack and you think you're going to die is that's the only time really that you say, screw it, I'm done with my life. I'm going to change. I'm going to live a different life. The next book I'm thinking of writing is how I can help people who don't have serious illnesses change when they want to. Because there's a lot of people working 70 hours a week and they're addicted to it. You get addicted to success. I love being told that I'm the first one at work and the last one to leave. I love getting the trophies. I love getting the raises. It's like when you're a little kid playing soccer and you score goals. You get addicted to that. How do you get off of that? I often say to people, think of your tombstone when you die. Would you rather it say Bill was the greatest worker at ABC Company, or Bill was a great dad and a great father? Now, 900 out of us, 999,000 are going to say, I'd much rather it say I was a good husband and dad. But you never see your wife and you never see your kids. You're living at work the whole time. So I came up with the 12 things that I feel like you should do on a habitual basis to live a happier life. Some I was already doing, and a lot of them were knit. And that's where I that's the reason I wrote the book is to try to help people learn about the breakdown to the breakthrough. And that life isn't just about downs, someone always down or someone always up. I had the highest highs. I had things happen to me that uh are totally inexplicable. If you want me to go into it, I can.

SPEAKER_02 19:06

So I'm curious if you don't mind sharing some of what you say is the inexplicable.

SPEAKER_03 19:13

I knew Aerosmith from uh I gave money to a rehab clinic that Stephen Tyler was at. And they told me if I gave more that he'd come to my 40th birthday party, which he did. So I got to know him, and then I was allowed through his manager to come backstage to some of his concerts. I'm also very involved with Israel. So about 20 years ago, an Israeli soldier named Ehud Levi was taken by Hezbolla on the Lebanese border. And his wife was coming to America all the time, to the UN, and pleading, don't forget about my husband. I want to keep him in the front of everybody's mind. And what happened is I was asked to pay some money for her hotel so she could stay in New York. And then I told you, I have a big heart. I said, you know what? This woman's dying every night she's upset and dying. Let me take you to an Arasmith concert and introduce her to Steven Tyler. So I got in touch with her manager, and she said she'd love to go. Well, Amanda, a week before the show, the Israeli government calls me up from New York and says, where should we put the microphone, the stand, where should we have the television cameras? And I said, What are you talking about? She said, Well, she said that you're going to have Steven Tyler ask for her husband's release before the concert, and we want to have it on TV. And I said, This is crazy. This isn't anything I ever imagined. I'm just having her go for a good time and just see Steven Tyler. So I said, Does she still want to go? Yes. I picked her up. And the whole way over, she said, we have to get Steven to ask for his release. And I said, fine, we'll do the best we can. So we went backstage, and her manager, John Slade, I told him I'm going to have her, her name was Ruti, go backstage and speak to Stephen and ask him to do this. John said, if she does that, you're never coming back again. You're blacklisted. You'll never get back here again. So she was crying, and I said, Listen, you got one chance at this. When you meet Steven, beg him. Cry. Do whatever you can. Ask him to please mention whatever you want him to. So she begged Stephen during Dream On, because that was her husband's favorite song. And Stephen actually went in the middle of the concert. He stopped the concert and asked Hezbollah to release Hootie, which I just think is. Really cool thing. So for me, that's one of my highlights in my life because I was able to put that together. So that's a high for me.

SPEAKER_02 22:09

Wow. And did anything happen to you from that situation?

SPEAKER_03 22:15

Well, first of all, he had already been killed, we found out a year later, prior to even this concert. But nothing happened to me, no. I just felt great about it, that's all. For me, it was a special moment to get Steven Tyler to stop the concert during the song Dream On, which was this guy's favorite song, and asked for his release. I'm sure Steven didn't even know what Lebanon was or Israel was. I mean, he's you know, he's getting fired up for his performance. He's got all everything going on, and it was amazing.

SPEAKER_02 22:50

I'm curious, transitioning back, uh Tad, when you had this breakdown, what were you doing for woke? Were you at the company?

SPEAKER_03 23:00

So yeah, no, I was at the company. I was working, you know, 70 hours a week. People were saying if you continue to work this hard, you're gonna have a breakdown. I wasn't listening to him. I was loving every single minute of it. And then what happened is a few things. My wife and I lost a pregnancy, and I fainted on the floor, and the doctor said that was actually when the breakdown started. And then what happened is I had become addicted to exercise. And as I told you, whenever we had company meetings, I would jump off tables and get crazy and get people fired up. And we decided to have a meeting on the in our headquarters on the warehouse, which is a cement floor. We decided to have it at the headquarters so the store managers could meet with the office managers. And I fractured both my feet. So I couldn't exercise. So I was depressed about losing the pregnancy. I couldn't exercise, which is like an antidepressant. And then I sunk down deeper and had that time when I was suicidal.

SPEAKER_02 24:06

Now, you mentioned you were in bed, I think you said three days.

SPEAKER_03 24:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:12

What gave you, I don't know if I want to say courage or the will to go to the doctor.

SPEAKER_03 24:20

Well, I mean, I knew that I didn't want to really kill myself. And I felt so, so, so bad that, you know, you just like get me to a doctor, get me to somewhere, someone who can help me. The first doctor was awful. He said that I'd never work again. And then I went to the right doctor, he said, You'll be fine, just take these medications and I'll work with you, and you'll be fine.

SPEAKER_02 24:42

The post doctor told you you'd never work again.

SPEAKER_03 24:45

Yeah, he was crazy. Terrible doc.

SPEAKER_02 24:49

Did that feel like defeating at all to you, or did you not buy it?

SPEAKER_03 24:54

Oh my God, was it defeating? When you're in that sense of mind, when everything's bad, you're bad, the whole world is bad, and it says you're never going to work again. Oh my God, it was the worst thing in the world.

SPEAKER_02 25:05

How long after did you go see the different doctor?

SPEAKER_03 25:09

I think it took me another month to find the right doctor. And that whole time it was excruciatingly painful. I say I was in bed for three days and wanted to kill myself, but during that entire month, I probably was suicidal.

SPEAKER_02 25:24

Was there anything that helped you?

SPEAKER_03 25:27

Exercise kept me a little good. For the most part, it was only when I got on the medicine.

SPEAKER_02 25:35

But I mean in that in-between period, like that month long.

SPEAKER_03 25:40

Like I was in terrible pain. Like if you got hit by a car for the first month or two. I mean, I was in terrible pain until I got in the medicine.

SPEAKER_02 25:50

Did anything help you hang on, Jose?

SPEAKER_03 25:54

When I we went away once and I actually took a knife and I, you know, put it near my wrist, but I didn't actually do it. So if you said you said nothing helped me, I guess maybe the fact that I had my son, I didn't want to kill myself because of him. Maybe I hung on because of him. But I think a lot of people talk about killing themselves and they really want to do it. But do they actually do it? You know, 90% don't. It's more common than you think, people wanting to kill themselves.

SPEAKER_02 26:26

I know. I know it is. So then about a month later, you uh went to the different doctor and got on medication.

SPEAKER_03 26:35

And within three weeks, I was like my old self. My chemistry in my brain went back to normal, and I felt great. And that's when I said I gotta put together a workbook and share with people the things that I'm gonna start doing in my life to live a happier life.

SPEAKER_02 26:51

Wow. And now you said some of these things you were previously doing, and some of them were new things.

SPEAKER_03 26:57

Correct.

SPEAKER_02 26:59

Do you mind giving us an example of one?

SPEAKER_03 27:02

Well, I was always doing exercise. And I don't mind, I can go through all 12 if we have the time, but I was always exercising. And that's the first of my 12 things. Because as I said, exercise is the quickest way you can go from feeling terrible to feeling better. And the next thing is listening or reading inspirational material,

The 12-Week Happiness Framework

SPEAKER_03 27:23

which I was doing a lot of with Tony Robbins. Because what we want to do is for the first two things, we want to get people feeling stronger physically and emotionally. That's going to the gym. Or you can even just walk around the house. I don't want you to go to the gym on day one and lift 100 pounds. We want to just have you go at your own pace. And then week two is listening to inspirational material. So you're in the right frame of mind to go through weeks three through 12, which are really difficult weeks three through 12. Week three is learning how to be easier on yourself. Most people treat themselves worse than they treat their worst enemy. They say things like, I can't believe how fat I am, I can't believe how stupid I am, I can't believe what a bad dad I am, what a bad mother I am. We do this all the time. Most of us will have a good day, we do everything right and one thing wrong, and we spend our entire night saying, I can't believe I did that. And then the next day we do a hundred things right and one thing wrong. We say, I can't believe I did that. Your brain can be your greatest asset or your greatest prison.

SPEAKER_02 28:32

That's true. So learning how to be easy, how do people be can be easier on themselves?

SPEAKER_03 28:41

Well, it's extremely difficult, but I liken it to quit smoke. And I'm old, so when I grew up, everybody smoked cigarettes. And nowadays people want to quit. And the first thing they need to do is recognize when they start to bring the cigarette to their mouth. You're not all of a sudden going to quit. So first recognize it. And then eventually you want to try to stop doing it. So I want you to recognize when you start being mean to yourself. Okay, you give a speech at the company and it was flawless. But the last 30 seconds you threw out. And instead of saying, My God, I just rock and roll, you come home and you say, I just fucked this up completely. Excuse my French. Okay? It's a totally different way of looking. So I want you, when you do that, I want you to say, interesting. I just was really mean to myself. I gave a great speech and one bad thing, and I'm beat beating myself up. So I want you to recognize. Eventually, I want you to start saying things differently to yourself. So let's say that um you had a bad encounter with a friend, and you would go home and say, What a jerk I am. Can't believe I treated my friend that way. Two years ago it was even worse, and three years ago it was worse. I guess I'm a really bad person. I want you to come back and say, you know, I probably could have handled that differently, instead of saying how awful you are. Another example is someone who exaggerates things. So let's say, Amanda, you have a bad day. Let's say you're the kind of person who comes home and says, today was the worst day of my life. It was awful. How does that make you feel the rest of the night? I would rather you say, you know, today was a little bit off. How does that make you feel? So we're trying to, you know, bring everything down. So that's what we do. We teach people to realize when they're starting to be mean to themselves and then use different wording. And they can also catch themselves doing things right. You know, someone takes a test like me, and if they do badly, it ruins their life. And if they do good, they pat themselves on the back for two seconds. Actually, they don't pet themselves at all. So if we're only going to look at the things that go bad and destroy ourselves, and we're never ever going to look at when we do good, it doesn't work.

SPEAKER_02 31:25

And it makes a lot of sense about recognizing it and bringing it to the awareness. You know, like if you're not aware of when it's happening or how it's happening, you can't change something.

SPEAKER_03 31:37

Correct. And we're all that way. You know, most of our parents coming up in the generation they did, I'm a little older than you. They were negative. Most people are negative. Most people feel like they got the raw end of the stick. Everybody has more than them. Like in their mind, life sucks. And they bring this on to their kids. The kids beat themselves up, and people aren't happy. There's very few people who are really happy. That is so true. The next one, which I think is really important, is playing to our strengths. Everyone was born with certain things they're really good at and things they're not good at. So you have things that you're much better at than me, and I have things that I'm much better at than you. Usually the things that we're good at, we love to do. So I encourage people to take out a piece of paper and make two lists. I want you to list the five things that you think you're better at than most people on the left side. And on the right side, I want you to list the things you love to do the most. Anything that's on both of the left list and the right list, I want you to circle. That's the stuff you're meant to do in this plan. And if you're doing it, bravo. Nine out of ten people aren't doing it. They took the first job out of high school or college because they didn't have anything else to do. They said that they'll leave there in, you know, a year when they can find the right job, but 50 years later and they're still in the job they don't like. Most people aren't doing the hobbies they love. Let's say somebody loves to sing, but they're not singing. I want to encourage you to sing. I want to encourage you to have a plan of how you can start singing. I want you to come up with the three things that you can do immediately to start singing. Maybe one is to join a choir, one is to join a local theater group, or maybe one is to join a karaoke group. And then I want you to choose which one of those, and I want you to do something immediately. Because if you don't do immediately, you won't do it. I want the very next day for you to call one of those places and set up a first appointment. So if you're in a job you hate, start taking classes so you can get into a job you love and start doing something you love. Spend more time doing what you love. Life is short. You know, the only thing we know for sure is we're all gonna die. And you actually could die tomorrow. You don't know that. It's the cancer patients or the guy who just, you know, had a heart attack and they thought he was gonna die that make up their bucket list the next day and they do it. So it's a blessing many times to have a heart attack or cancer in the long run.

SPEAKER_02 34:41

That's the only thing that we're all guaranteed is we're gonna die one day.

SPEAKER_03 34:46

You got it. The fifth one is living in the present. So let's say that you have a child and you're swinging him on the swing set. How much of the time are you actually focused on the swing set in the child? 47% of the time. 53% of the time you're focused on the past or the future. So you're swinging them, but you're thinking, geez, I gotta go to work tomorrow and I gotta make that speech. And, you know, how do I need to do that speech? Or you're still thinking about that fight you had with your sister-in-law years ago, and it's still coming up, and it's something that you haven't been able to leave in the past. And we encourage you with things in the past that you don't feel comfortable actually meeting with them, you're so angry, at least write a letter to them. And you can send it or you can burn it. Fear of the future is a big one, Amanda. That's when we have things that we're afraid of that aren't even gonna happen. I saw an interview of 103-year-old woman, and they said, What's your biggest regret in life? And she said, worrying about things that never happen. So, you know, we are afraid that we're gonna get cancer in the future. But we're only 40 years old. So, what's the likelihood you're gonna get cancer now? Probably six percent. But you're worried about it all the time because your brother got cancer. And if you did get cancer, what's the likelihood you're gonna die? It's probably 10%, 6%. So what's the likelihood you're gonna get cancer? 6%, and die, 6%. If you do the math, it's probably all the way down to 1%, but you're spending all this time worrying about it. Or you're so worried that you're gonna screw up the speech the next day. But every time you do a speech, it's flawless and it's perfect, but you're still worried about it. So we spend way too much time worrying about things that never even happen. And they really rob us of our life. 47% of the time we're living in the present.

SPEAKER_02 37:02

Wow. Where does that statistic come from?

SPEAKER_03 37:07

I guess I read a book.

SPEAKER_02 37:10

I was just curious.

SPEAKER_03 37:11

Yeah, no, professionals at college is a lot smarter than me have come up with 47%. Makes sense during the day. I mean, how much time are you actually spending focusing on what you're doing? Or how much time is your mind thinking about, oh my God, I'm really worried about that tomorrow or this afternoon. Why did my boyfriend say that thing to me? I'm really pissed off. What are you really focused on in the minute? It's usually something other than what you're doing.

SPEAKER_02 37:44

Yeah. That makes sense.

SPEAKER_03 37:48

So uh the other thing I focus on is eliminating the things that stress you out. So let's say that you absolutely hate paying the checks every month. The first question is can you absolutely actually avoid paying them? You have a wife or a husband, and you agreed when you first got married that you'd pay the checks and then do the cleaning. Maybe you can ask them if they'd swap. And if they say, No way, Jose, I won't swap. We agreed on day one that you're doing the checks and I'm doing the cleaning. So you can't avoid it completely, but maybe you can do it differently. So if you're someone who's really anal and pays the checks every day they come in and you get six checks a month, so six days a month, you're paying checks, and you're in a bad mood. Maybe you can pay them once a month. Pay them differently. And finally, if you hate going over the homework with your kids every night, maybe you can look at it differently and say, you know what, I really don't like doing this, but I get a chance to be with my kids every night. It's a wonderful thing. I'm mentoring them and I'm mentoring them for their future. So even though you don't like all these things, you can try not to do it. Swap it for someone. You can do it differently, write the one checks once a month instead of six separately, or look at it differently.

SPEAKER_02 39:15

I like those. Trying not to do it, doing it differently, or reframing how you look at it.

SPEAKER_03 39:24

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 39:26

That concept seems so simple, but I think it's something that a lot of people don't think about or consider.

SPEAKER_03 39:33

Yeah, people get very frustrated. They hate doing things, but they have to do it all the time. Someone hates cleaning the house. But they don't think they have the money to pay for a house cleaner. The house cleaner is $100 every two weeks or once a month. Well, why don't you go on one less date with your husband if you go every single week out on a date and you like the date, but you'd rather miss the date and get a housekeeper for sure. Why not do that? Think outside the box. Number seven, which is very important. In fact, if you don't do it, the whole program's kind of a waste. And that is spending more time with positive people, less time with negative people. So I want you to make a list of the five people you spend the most time with. And I want you to rank each one one to five. One is so negative that you could be having the greatest day, Amanda, and they pull you down. They make you feel miserable. Five, you could be having the worst day and they lift you up. And then I want you to put a number next to each of those. One to five. Each of your friends. List rank them one to five. One, they're brutal, five, they're great. And then I want you to add up those numbers. Divide by five. So now you have your average number in terms of positivity. And if your average number is a one or a two, you need to make some changes with your friends. If it's a four or five, you're doing great. And you say, Well, how can I make a change with a friend be friends with forever? You let them know that you feel like you've been very negative lately, so you've decided to take a course, and you need them to take a course too. Because you have kids and you learned in the course that your kids will be like you, and I really don't want them to be like me. So you're negative, I'm negative, I'm taking the course, I need you to take a course too. And if they don't, you say to them again, I need you to take the course. And if they still don't, you start spending less time with them. And more time with friends that lift you out.

SPEAKER_02 41:56

That makes a lot of sense. I don't know who quoted this, but they say you're the average of the five people you spend the most time with.

SPEAKER_03 42:04

That was cosmonix, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 42:08

Even outside of happiness and positivity, like if they're not doing things to better their lives, you're less likely to as well, you know?

SPEAKER_03 42:18

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 42:20

What were you gonna say on that? The five times.

SPEAKER_03 42:22

I was gonna say the exact same thing. You're the average of the five people you spend the most time with in terms of your positive. So you owe it to yourself. With family, you can't really say to your sister, look, you know, we talk a lot. You're really, really negative. If you don't take a course, I'm gonna stop talking. But you can certainly talk to her twice a week instead of three times a week. If it's your mother, if it's your mother, you have a real problem. If your mother's really, really, really negative, you're gonna stop talking to her, she's gonna get upset.

SPEAKER_02 42:57

You just gotta convince her to take the course with you.

SPEAKER_03 43:00

Yeah, good luck. Can't tell your mother what to do.

SPEAKER_02 43:05

It's not telling her, it's suggesting.

SPEAKER_03 43:07

Well, I can't teach an old dog new tricks, trust me. My mother's 86, my dad's 90.

SPEAKER_02 43:13

Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 43:15

Well, you try. If I told my mother that she needs to take a positivity course, she would go ballistic. And she's very negative.

SPEAKER_02 43:25

Not that she needs to, just that you suggest that she takes this.

SPEAKER_03 43:31

She would be so offensive.

SPEAKER_02 43:34

I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 43:34

What about your mother?

SPEAKER_02 43:37

Probably, but that's also why I'm saying that you don't say need, you would suggest it. I suggest we take this course together.

SPEAKER_03 43:46

Well, that's maybe that's what works. I don't know. My mother's too old to hear to accept that. Your mother's a lot younger than my mother.

SPEAKER_02 43:56

She is, but still have the next thing which is important, most

SPEAKER_03 44:00

I say the most important thing is learning to be easier on yourself. But studies in college, what most people will say, it's having close relationships with family and friends. Those are the things that are going to be the most important to making you happy. Certainly, family is important because it's nice to get along with your family, your brother, sister, and your parents. And I encourage people who say, I don't speak to my parents because if something happened 20 years ago to realize they're going to die. And it's silly to hold it grudging. Friends are great. They can make life so much sweeter. I had a 60 birthday. I had 18 people come, all my friends. It was wonderful. And also, they're there for you when something bad happens. My father's had cancer. He's 90. I don't know how much longer he'll be here. And I know that when he passes, I'll have the support, certainly of my wife and my son, but I'll also have friends to help me through it. So that's really important. I watched a show once with a Vietnam vet, and they said, what was the hardest thing in captivity? And he said it wasn't the lack of food and it wasn't the beatings. He said it was the inability to communicate with another human being for all those years. So we are creatures on this planet that need the human touch of other people.

SPEAKER_02 45:31

That's true.

SPEAKER_03 45:32

The other thing is we need to realize how much we can affect people. There was a story, Amanda, about a teenager who tried to kill himself. And he didn't kill himself, but he fell off the bridge and broke most of his bones in his body. And they said, Why did you do it? And he said, Well, you know, I really wanted to kill myself, but I felt bad about how it would affect my family. So I decided to go on a bus one day. And if the bus driver was nice to me, I wouldn't kill myself. And if he was mean, I would. And I said, Well, what happened? And he said, Well, I decided to get to the end of the bus, the front of the bus, and just stand there for a little while and see what the bus driver would say. And the bus driver said, Kid, get off the damn bus. And that's why I tried to kill myself. So we can affect people in a very, very significant way when we don't realize the way we speak to them.

SPEAKER_02 46:28

Wow. I got shows hearing that.

SPEAKER_03 46:31

Yeah. We need to be careful how we we say things to people.

SPEAKER_02 46:36

We never know what anybody's dealing with internally.

SPEAKER_03 46:40

Exactly. And that brings me to my next step, which is being friendly. And that's like a secret in your tool. Let's say you're having a bad week. If you just go to the market and you start being friendly to people, it makes you feel better. But it has a ripple effect because now you're nice to one person and he's nice to another person, and eventually he gets home and it's the first night of the week he's

Kindness, Giving, Gratitude, Self-Love

SPEAKER_03 47:03

not fighting with his wife. And now the kids get to have a more relaxing evening. We need to realize that everybody is symbolically carrying a heavy load on their back. One person may have just found out his kid has cancer. One person may have just found out that they lost their job and they don't know how they're going to pay their bills. So everybody has a sack. And I want you to be like a lamp lighter, it just lights people up. And some people say I'm an introvert. I couldn't do that. And we say what you should do is you should pretend you're your favorite comedian. Who's your favorite comedian, Amanda?

SPEAKER_02 47:42

I like Steve Harvey.

SPEAKER_03 47:44

So let's say that you say, Todd, I could never go to the market and just say to people, my God, I how you doing today? Boy, I love your fingernails. They look so good. Where did you get your nails ducked? And you say to me, Todd, I could never do that. Well, I'd say, Amanda, could Steve Harvey do it? And you'd say, Of course, Steve Harvey could do it. He could do anything. Then I want you to pretend you're Steve Harvey for a day. So that's being friendly. The next one is giving, being a giver. Givers are actually 40% healthier and 25% happier than people who don't give. And it doesn't have to be money, it can be just your time. Making a difference in other people's worlds, going to the market, putting groceries in an old lady's car, doing whatever you can to help people in the world. Tremendous effect on your body and your happiness. The next one is seeing in life that there's more to you than just yourself. We talk about finding a higher power. It doesn't have to be religion, but just realizing that we're all in this together and that there's something out there if you're going through a difficult time. And the last one, which I think is a really important one, is being grateful. So many of us feel like, you know, we got the wrong end of the stick. But you are really envious of the guy next door who has a brand new Mercedes, but you didn't realize that him and his wife have been trying to have a baby for four years and nothing's working. And he would buy you five Mercedes if you could just have one child. So we think other people have everything and we have nothing. And we need to realize that you can always look to the left and find people who have more than you. Or you can look to the right and find people who have less than you. And what do you think makes you happier if you look to the right and realize how much you have? So that's the 12-week process. None of them are easy. They're all changing the way that you view things. But if you're able to make changes, even six out of the 12 or 7 of the 12, it's going to make you a much happier person.

SPEAKER_02 50:02

You mentioned at one point, like week, whatever. So are these done in a week-by-week basis? So for like 12 weeks.

SPEAKER_03 50:10

Very important. You don't screw them up. You do the right one first and then second. And if you want to be part of my course, you go to my website and you take the course. It's a course that includes my book, which is usually $25, my workbook, which is usually 15, and all my videos as well. And it's all for just $27.

SPEAKER_02 50:33

And now is this a course they can take like at home vocally?

SPEAKER_03 50:38

It's all on video. It's through Udemy. I don't know if you've heard of it, but Udemy's a college online with thousands of courses.

SPEAKER_02 50:45

That's nice and convenient.

SPEAKER_03 50:47

It's basically the exact same thing you and I just went through, but it's more in-depth. So you and I went over the first one, which is physical working out. And I probably did it with you at 30 seconds. This one would be four minutes. Each one of the five steps would be about four minutes. Whereas I blew through these a lot faster than you. Plus, you get the book that I told you, which is one awards. And you have the workbook.

SPEAKER_02 51:18

And now is the woke book a woke book off of your book?

SPEAKER_03 51:23

The workbook is separate from it, but it really is a separate book. If somebody wants the real book, which I think is great, and they want actually have it in their hands, they can go to Amazon and get it.

SPEAKER_02 51:38

Now, transitioning a tad bit, I ask most guests this, and I'm very curious what you would say yours is, but most people have had what they consider an aha moment or multiple aha moments where something in their life shifted and they look at the world differently. What would you say has been your biggest aha moment?

SPEAKER_03 52:02

Well, it was definitely the breakdown. It doesn't sound like an a-hour moment. It sounds like an oo moment. It shifted my whole life. Being a guy that was perfectionist, that was always running on empty, wasn't as focused on the family as much as he should have been, and then having the terrible breakdown and changing everything. So that was my a home moment.

SPEAKER_02 52:25

So how would you say overall you looked at the world differently from before that to after that?

SPEAKER_03 52:32

Before that, it was I was all ego. My whole life was ego. And I was tremendously successful. In fact, I'd say I was probably as successful as anyone at age 40. I built a hundred million dollar business. I grew it 20% every year. My people, I think, loved me. I loved them. I taught them how to be better people, how to be better husbands, sons and daughters. All ego. Jumping off tables, acting like Tony Robbins. After that, I there's no ego. It's just love.

SPEAKER_02 53:07

So you're not jumping off tables anymore?

SPEAKER_03 53:10

No, I don't need to do that. I mean, I still go to the gym and get fired up. That's, you know. No, I'm completely different. I would tell people how great I was. I was a superman. I could do anything in the old days. I certainly don't do that now.

SPEAKER_02 53:26

So do you not think you could do anything?

SPEAKER_03 53:29

Well, I think I can be successful, but I don't think I'm you know better than other people in terms of being successful. My definition of happiness is just learning to love yourself because of who you are, just the fact that you're here. You don't have to succeed. Most people feel like they have to succeed to be okay with themselves. Most people run away from feelings. That's why they work all the time. They don't have to just sit five or ten minutes by themselves and say, What could I improve on?

SPEAKER_02 54:02

No, you say you don't have to succeed. Why do you say that?

SPEAKER_03 54:06

Maybe because I had so much success before. But at this point in my life, I'm not doing that much. I don't feel like I have to succeed. I don't feel like I have to do anything. I'm just good with myself. Now, you said, what do I kind of consider myself? I kind of consider myself someone who's hanging out and just waiting for people to come to them and need them. Like my greatest satisfaction now is when people are broken. And all my friends and family know that they should come to me. And I get them to my favorite psychopharmacologist, and he saves them within three weeks with the right pills. So they're broken, they want to kill themselves, and because they came to me, we save them. That makes me feel great.

SPEAKER_02 54:52

That's beautiful, Todd.

SPEAKER_03 54:55

Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 54:56

I really enjoyed speaking with you.

SPEAKER_03 54:59

I had a song too.

unknown 55:01

No.

SPEAKER_02 55:04

I'm sure it will. I'm curious. Have you heard of a man named Jay Shetty?

SPEAKER_03 55:09

Yes. A lot of people tell me he's amazed.

SPEAKER_02 55:13

He's got a podcast called On Purpose, and he ends it with two segments. And I've borrowed those two segments, and I end my podcast with those two. The first segment is the many sides to us, and there's five questions, and they need to be answered in one word each. What is one word someone who is meeting you for the first time would use to describe you as?

SPEAKER_03 55:42

Karen.

SPEAKER_02 55:44

What is one word someone who knows you

Final Five Questions And Closing

SPEAKER_02 55:47

well would use to describe you as loyal? What is one word you'd use to describe yourself?

SPEAKER_03 55:58

Really love it.

SPEAKER_02 56:00

What is one word that if someone didn't like you or agree with your mindset would use to describe you as difficult? What is one word you're trying to embody right now?

SPEAKER_03 56:16

Love it.

SPEAKER_02 56:18

Second segment is the final five, and these can be answered in a sentence. What is the best advice you've heard or received?

SPEAKER_03 56:28

Just be yourself.

SPEAKER_02 56:31

Why is that the best?

SPEAKER_03 56:34

I think so many people are trying to be other people. They're chasing, you know, I want to be like him, I want to be like her. I just want you to be okay with who you are. Just be yourself. As you and I talked about, we all have different things that we're best at and things that we love to do the most. That's what you should be doing, just be you.

SPEAKER_02 56:58

I agree with that. What is the worst advice you've heard or received?

SPEAKER_03 57:04

I think it probably has to do with cheating and stealing. You know, people who feel like it's okay to cheat somebody if you get enough money from it and being dishonest. Sorry, I don't know that they someone actually said be dishonest, but I if you said what do I feel is one of the biggest problems in the world is dishonesty.

SPEAKER_02 57:26

What is something that you used to value that you no longer value?

SPEAKER_03 57:32

I guess it would be ego. I was all ego, Amanda. All ego. I was so successful. And it just doesn't matter to me anymore at all.

SPEAKER_02 57:43

Was it the breakdown that was the biggest thing that got rid of your ego?

SPEAKER_03 57:47

Ego. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 57:51

If you could describe what you would want your legacy to be, as if someone was reading it, what would you want it to say?

SPEAKER_03 57:59

Todd was a really loving and caring person.

SPEAKER_02 58:04

If you could create one law in the world that everyone had to follow, what would it be? And I want to know why.

SPEAKER_03 58:12

It would be learning to love yourself just because you're here. And it's because people don't love themselves just because they were born. Tony Robbins has a fun thing he says. He says, You won. You already won. You are the one one millionth sperm that made it to the end. You won. So why aren't you enjoying your life? You already won. But most of us don't enjoy our life. Most people are unhappy. My wife's from Venezuela. It's a different culture. She's the happiest person I know. Lots of family. Here, just everybody's striving to be better. Nobody's satisfied with where they are. They're all wishes they were, you know, somebody else. The worst thing in the world is the telephone now and uh looking at social media. People are so unhappy now. Girls age 10 to 17, it's the highest rate of suicide right now in America. They look and see all girls who are prettier than them, more than them, and they want to kill themselves because they haven't built up their self-esteem yet. People, as they talk to you about being grateful, they're not grateful for what they have. We have more, even if you don't have money in this country. Now, I'm not saying if you're destitute, but let's say you're lower middle class. So you don't have the beautiful car, you don't have the beautiful house, you're still richer than everyone who came before you. Going all the way back to Roman times, millions and millions and billions of people. We have more, we have electricity, we have in-house plumbing. You realize how lucky we are not to have to go outside to go to the bathroom? That's only been the last 120 years. So we have so much, but we don't appreciate it. We have a library that has all of the information that you could possibly have, but because it's free, nobody goes. Nobody appreciates anything. So I just want you to just don't feel like you always have to achieve. Don't feel like you're never good enough. Just be you're a good person. We're all good people. Just be happy with who you are.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:28

I agree. I love that Tony Robbins quote about you being Yeah, it made me chuckle, but you already won at something, if you want to look at it like that. While trying to win something.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:41

If you like Jay Shetty, you should check out Tony Robbins. Just get one of his you know audios and listen to it.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:47

I've heard a little bit by him. I've heard a little bit by him, but I I love that quote.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:53

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:54

There's a lot of sperm that didn't survive, you know? So it's something to be like, if you're striving for that winning, like you won. You won that way.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:02

There was a million sperm in that orgasm. So the one person, one sperm that made it to the egg.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:10

I like that different type of perspective.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:12

Great, great.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:14

Thank you so much, Todd. I really appreciate this.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:17

Let me just tell people my website if I could, because if they go there, they can take the course. So it's toddpatkin.com. T O D D P A T A.com. Todpatkin.com. There's so many things in the website that you can check out. But if you do want to take the course, it's only $27 and you get everything. If you just want to buy my book and you know, have it, if you like to read and actually have it in your hand, then you can go to Amazon and it's $25.99.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:54

Awesome. I will link both of those in the show notes for people to click directly. I do just like to give it back to the guest. Any final words of wisdom, anything else you want to share with the listeners? No pressure.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:11

If you're feeling down, exercise is the quickest way you can go to feeling better. So if you're a couch potato, just walk around the block. Don't do too much in terms of exercise that you'll do it once. You'll, you know, try to lift too much and you'll never do it again because you hurt your muscles. That's the number one thing you can do. Next, please be kinder to yourself. Your brain and you can be your own worst enemy. Somehow you need to snap out of that. And I want you just to love yourself just because you're here. You don't always have to be achieving. You don't always have to be the perfect mother, the perfect father. You don't always have to win all the awards.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:56

I completely agree, Todd. Well, thank you so much again.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:59

Thanks, Amanda. I really enjoyed it.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:01

Absolutely. And thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of Meander's Mindset. In case no one told you today, I'm proud of you. I'm booting for you. And you got this.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:23

As always, if you enjoyed the show, I would really appreciate it if you would leave me a five-star rating, leave a review, and share it with anyone you think would benefit from that. And don't forget, you are only one mindset shift away from shifting your life.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:42

Thanks guys, until next time.