How You Start is Not How You Finish | Logan | 192

What if the hardest parts of someone’s past didn’t have to define their future?

In this powerful episode of Manders Mindset, host Amanda Russo sits down with transformational speaker and Air Force veteran Logan, whose life story is a testament to resilience, personal responsibility, and the power of rewriting your own narrative. From growing up in a restrictive religious environment to serving in Iraq and navigating PTSD, divorce, and moments of suicidal ideation, Logan shares how he learned to take ownership of his healing and ultimately redefine the direction of his life.

Throughout the conversation, Logan opens up about the lessons that shaped him, including the importance of finding your “why,” seeking support when life feels overwhelming, and embracing the idea that no one is coming to save you — you must choose to save yourself. Together, Amanda and Logan explore discipline, identity shifts, mindset, and the courage it takes to evolve beyond the version of yourself shaped by past experiences.

At its core, this episode is a reminder that how you start in life does not determine how you finish. Growth, healing, and transformation are always possible for those willing to do the work.

💡 In this episode, listeners will discover:

🔥 Why your past does not have to determine your future
🧠 How identity shifts create lasting change in mindset and behavior
💔 The impact of trauma, war, and adversity on mental health
💡 How finding a deeper “why” can help someone push through their lowest moments
🪶 Why therapy, journaling, and self-reflection play a key role in healing
🎯 The importance of discipline, intention, and defining your personal North Star
✨ How choosing growth and responsibility can transform your life and legacy

⏰ Timeline Summary

[3:10] Logan’s childhood growing up in a restrictive religious environment
[11:45] Feeling different, being bullied, and struggling with identity as a young person
[18:30] Joining the Air Force as a way to escape and find freedom
[27:40] Life in the military and the emotional toll of serving in Iraq
[36:15] PTSD, divorce, and hitting rock bottom after returning home
[45:20] The realization that changed everything and helped Logan choose life
[54:00] The power of identity shifts and discipline in personal growth
[1:03:30] Creating a personal “North Star” and living life with intention

To Connect with Amanda:

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To Connect with Logan:

Website: https://www.theloganunlimited.com/

Transcript

Welcome And Guest Introduction

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to the Mandos and MindStap Podcast. So you'll find both monologues and the videos of honesty of the artists of field artists and of the variety of other people who are host on Manders. So we'll discuss all the mindset and first factors and mindset and first factors on the world around us.

SPEAKER_01 0:31

Welcome to Mindest Mindset. As we explore the power of shifting your mindset to us, I'm your host, Amanda Lisa, and I am so excited for today's guest. And I am here with Logan, a transformational speaker and Air Force veteran who's redefining personal growth through raw honesty, good, and radical self-leadership. From surviving a religious cult to serving an Iraq, he's faced some of life's toughest battles and now helps others rewire their mind and rise beyond limitation. And I am so excited to speak with him today. Thanks for joining me.

SPEAKER_02 1:15

Thank you so much for having me. Excited to be here.

Who Logan Is At Core

SPEAKER_01 1:18

Absolutely. So who would you say Logan is at the core?

SPEAKER_02 1:25

Oh my goodness. I am a fun-loving adrenaline junkie, incredibly passionate traveler who deeply cares about people.

SPEAKER_01 1:40

I love that. Have you always embodied that?

SPEAKER_02 1:43

I think so. I think I've, you know, I learned that I love to travel pretty early. It took me some time to understand, like that I was an adrenaline junkie, you know, that I loved, like I understood, I knew I liked roller coasters and whitewater rafting and go-karts and like going fast and things like that. It didn't quite click until maybe I was in my mid-20s, and I was like, okay, there's a pattern here.

Growing Up In A High Control Church

SPEAKER_01 2:08

I gotcha. Nice. Can you tell us a little bit about your upbringing, childhood, family dynamic?

SPEAKER_02 2:17

Absolutely. I grew up on the south side of Chicago to a mom who struggled with mental illness. She had bipolar disorder and um really struggled. And as a child, you're like, hey, you know, I just want ice cream and to go play. And, you know, like I something's happening, and I want to keep you happy because I want love, but you know, I also want to go play. So let's, you know, you're just trying to figure it out as a child. You don't know the difference. And it's in some ways it's normal, but you don't know that it's not normal, you know, kind of in the grand scheme of things. Before I was born, she joined a church that was now I see it as a cult, but was it necessarily a cult of you know, barbed wire compound like you might think of in Waco, Texas, but more of in the mindset and how we were forced to believe and what we did kind of in our day-to-day. So what that looked like was little Logan wasn't allowed to uh eat chocolate. I wasn't allowed to watch cartoons as a kid. And so, you know, as a child, when you can't talk about the Simpsons, you know, or you know, what happened last night on TV, like that's okay, you're you're a little weird. And growing up in the you know, in the 90s in Chicago, I wasn't allowed to watch sports or play sport. So the Jordan era, the peak, so many super great things were happening in Chicago sports, and I had no clue. I was completely clued out. And furthermore, we weren't allowed to celebrate holidays. So no birthdays, no Christmas, no Valentine's Day. So all of these things, you know, in gym class, not being allowed to play sports, uh, not allowed to watch every it felt like every step of the way. I was segregated from my friends, my classmates, and I was always reminded how different I was. And as a result, I was really bullied pretty relentlessly in elementary school and high school. It was tough for me to find my home.

SPEAKER_01 4:41

And how long was your mom and you a member of this church?

SPEAKER_02 4:47

My entire childhood. My mom left eventually after I left. Uh so I would say it was probably well over 20 years for her. My grandmother, who I also lived with and was the single most influential person of my life, she was in it until she passed at the age of 89 years old. So, and my aunt is still in it. Several other family members are still there, so it's kind of a heavy weight. I have many family members that are not in it, but it is still very much a part of the kind of the greater family dynamics.

SPEAKER_01 5:26

That must have been tough, especially as a kid, all those little things, you know, like it's not seeming like it's was something you could just almost like hide in the closet and not tell people about.

Bullying And Teen Suicidal Thoughts

SPEAKER_02 5:41

No. And you know, being a kid across the street, you know, they're playing basketball in the driveway, and there were times where I tried to sneak and play, but you know, it's across the street, and if my mom caught me, then that was bad, and then I need to go repent because you know, playing sports is bad and sin, and it's just there's all of these mental warfares and mental gymnastics that really was maybe not called for or completely necessary, um, you know, for a child. And as a result, when I was a teenager, 17, 18 years old, I became suicidal. I remember leaving church one Friday and the church was on a boulevard, and I saw the truck coming down. I still remember it as a red truck, and I thought, if I stood in front of this truck and got out in the street, it wouldn't be so bad. It wouldn't be so bad if I just ended all the pain. And that that's a really difficult place for a child to be. I'm still not sure exactly how I made it through that particular situation, that circumstance, but I know partially I was afraid that my mom would uh kick my butt from beyond the grave. So I didn't want that.

Escaping Through The Air Force

SPEAKER_01 7:05

So wow, that must have been tough. Now, do you remember how old you were when you left?

SPEAKER_02 7:16

When I left the church, I was it was right after I graduated high school I decided to join the Air Force. I needed something really strong and more powerful than my mom and the church that I could go to to get away from this. And I found more than I was bargaining for, but yeah, I I just turned 18 and I went off to the Air Force.

SPEAKER_01 7:42

Okay. Now, what made you decide the Air Force?

SPEAKER_02 7:46

That's a great question. I remember as a child laying in my backyard in Chicago, looking up at the planes flying by. And I lived in the flight path of Midway Airport, which is one of Chicago's two airports. And I used to remember just looking up at those planes, imagining the people on them and where they'd come from, whether it was international or or you know, even in the United States, but what cool adventures had they gone on? You know, just planes represented freedom for me and getting away. And so ever since I was three years old, my dream was to be a commercial pilot. I wanted to fly and experience those, you know, far-off places and cool adventures and things of that nature. At this point, that hasn't come to fruition, but that was the impetus behind me joining the Air Force. And um I to kind of follow on that story, I joined, passed all the tests. Unfortunately, my eyesight was too poor to fly. And I began um, I was an airport operations manager managing some missions during my time in the Air Force. So I was still around airplanes and I got to travel the world, but it was not quite in the way I imagined, but that was why I joined.

SPEAKER_01 9:12

It almost seemed like it was an escape for you a little bit from a thousand percent.

SPEAKER_02 9:19

That's the entire reason why I joined. I wanted to get away. And it's kind of it's funny. Um, I went through basic training uh in Texas, and the first place the Air Force sent me, Alaska. So it was a very for a city boy, that was quite the difference.

SPEAKER_01 9:40

Wow, I I bet that was quite the difference. So, how was Alaska?

Alaska Freedom And Family Dynamics

SPEAKER_02 9:45

Oh my goodness, to this day, it's probably the one of the most beautiful places I've ever been. I was assigned to a base inside just outside the Anchorage Bowl, uh, and it's surrounded by mountains. I had never seen mountains before as a child. You know, growing up in Chicago, it's pretty flat. We got the snow, we got the wind, but not the mountains piece. Um, you know, having super fresh seafood, I just I mean, my love for seafood kind of skyrocketed. But it was also kind of, you know, when I think of the wild, wild west, taking a person, uh a small child who was in this pretty strict religion and then moving him to, in some ways, strict with the military, right? But in other ways, I had my freedom of being an adult. When I was a child, I still had a 8:30 bedtime when I was 17, 18 years old. My mom was super conscientious about you know what I was exposed to and what I was allowed to do because she didn't want me to fall in the cycle that so many people, family members, other people that were less well off, fell into. So another story that I love to tell is I remember as a child driving to go visit family members, and my mom would make me kneel on the backseat of our 1990 Blue Honda Accord because she didn't want me to see the street walkers and the drug addicts and the prostitutes and just the really difficult impoverished areas. And she didn't want that to be a part of my reality. While it's not how I would have raised me, I understand how you know the fervor and the intensity of which she really did not want that to be a part of my narrative.

SPEAKER_01 11:43

No, that that makes a lot of sense. That makes a lot of sense. Now, did you do or do you have siblings?

SPEAKER_02 11:51

No, I was an only child.

SPEAKER_01 11:53

Okay, okay. Was it just you and your mom?

SPEAKER_02 11:58

And my grandmother. My grandmother, um, basically, my grandmother took my mom in, and my mom really never left the house when she turned 18. She stayed there and we were just kind of a big family.

SPEAKER_01 12:11

Now, how was how was that with the two uh females raising you?

SPEAKER_02 12:16

It was a lot of estrogen, but I didn't know it at the time. You know, it's interesting because I I always say my grandmother was my favorite person in the world, and she still is. Uh, she's past now, but I was closer to my grandmother than my mom. And because I felt like my grandmother was a little more stable, you know, emotionally, and I felt like I was my grandmother's protector. She was retired. I mean, my grandmother was an incredibly strong woman, but I, whenever my grandmother went to the store, I went with her. She went anywhere. I was kind of her her riding buddy. And as a result, we just grew so close together. And I get a lot of who I am from her. She was a strong woman that grew up in rural Kansas in the depression. And that's just a different time that I can't fathom. In a one-bedroom cabin, for lack of a better term. 14 brothers and sisters. Dad was a coal miner, like the whole nine depression family style. And she taught me grit and grind in a way that I did not get from my mother, but it was a family.

SPEAKER_01 13:40

That is beautiful. What would you say is the biggest lesson you learned from your grandma?

SPEAKER_02 13:48

Oh my goodness. My grandmother didn't have a lot of advice. But one advice that even my mother would tell me, and my grandmother would tell me, is only the strong survive. You know, there's no way around it, there's no way through it, but through it. Only the strong survive. And, you know, kind of colloquially, she would always share that trouble don't last always. The good times nor the bad. If you're getting bullied in school, it's not gonna last forever. If you're having a tough time at work, it's not gonna last forever. Everything has a season in life and just wait a beat. You know, if you can be calm in the storm, it'll pass. Don't let the highs get too high, don't get let the lows get too low. It's so simple, but those two pieces of advice have stuck with me in my life and really have gotten me through Iraq, divorce, suicidal. I I went through another bout of suicidal ideations, which I'm sure we'll get into. It's one size fits all.

Iraq Combat Stress And Coming Home

SPEAKER_01 14:53

I I love that. I know it's so true. It's so true. Whether it you're going through the great times or the awful times, like it's not neither are gonna last forever.

SPEAKER_02 15:06

Absolutely, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 15:09

So I'd love to transition back a tad. Post you leaving the church, you joining the air force. How was mental health for you then when you made that transition?

SPEAKER_02 15:23

When I transitioned into the Air Force, I it wasn't a priority, frankly. An 18-year-old newly freedom, you know, guy making my own money. I thought, okay, I did the thing, I made this transition from this really difficult situation to, you know, this new life. I've reinvented myself. And you know what? The past is the past, and the future is the future. I didn't realize how much the skeletons in my closet would find me, and that mental health piece that I neglected and ignored would come back to bite me for sure. I I definitely was not prepared for that.

SPEAKER_01 16:10

Now you say it came back to bite you.

SPEAKER_02 16:13

Yes. That's a little bit further in the story. So after I joined the Air Force, I spent a total of 12 years, one month, and 25 days, if anyone is counting, and I was. I spent two tours in Iraq, traveled around the world, you know, Belgium, Korea, lived all over. But after I came back from Iraq, I really struggled. And I struggled because when I was in Iraq, I was at a location, Joint Base Balad. We got attacked seven times a day with mortar, small arms, fire, artillery shells. We lived in fear. And that's a difficult way to live for six months of your life. We it's so weird the dichotomy of being in this place with you know so many other military members that are highly trained, but you there's no amount of training that you can have uh to help you get accustomed to and prepare you for uh feeling your mortality day in and day out, seeing exploded mortar shells, finding mortars, seeing buildings that have been blown to bits, seeing the bodies loaded onto planes, uh you know, knowing people that uh did not make it. It just it's something war is just really terrible and something I hope no one ever experiences ever again in the history of the world. That's not realistic, but I really struggled with that balance of the normalcy of being a human and living six months in this really you know faraway land, away from my wife at the time, away from my daughter, who when I left, she was two, I came back, she was three. It I struggled with it. So, to kind of answer your question, when I came back, I was dealing with PTS hypervigilance, anxiety, tremors, which I still deal with, you know, so many, a myriad of medical issues, and I was not present for my wife, I was not present for my daughter, and it took me a long time to become fully acclimated with being back in the States. And as a result, I went through a divorce and I had to hit rock bottom along the way in that divorce process where I went through another bout of suicidal ideation, which you know, I'm I'm kind of jumping around in the story, but all of the pieces are really key to kind of who I am and how I am in the place that I'm in now that must have been so difficult being away from them and having to witness all of that.

SPEAKER_01 19:18

I I can't even imagine.

Therapy Limits Inside The Military

SPEAKER_02 19:21

It's you know, there's so many layers to it. We were fortunate enough at that particular location to have an internet cafe, and I was able to Skype with my daughter every day because it was Skype at my at that time. And when I came home, she still didn't recognize my face. When she saw me, and there was nothing, there was no reaction. I to some degree, I still don't necessarily forgive myself for that. And then the mental warfare of being home, being in California, being safe, but still mentally, I was in Iraq getting attacked and you know, diving into bomb shelters and waiting for the next attack alarm. Even though I was home and just it's tough. It's tough. I definitely empathize with our fellow service members and anyone that goes through something traumatic that uh they struggle bouncing back from. It's not easy, and no one they don't teach you this stuff in school how to communicate and talk about things that are really difficult and that are hurting you. To, you know, to my family's credit, they pushed me to go into therapy when I came back, and I did the month I came back from Iraq. I've been I went to therapy, I've been in therapy basically ever since, and that has immensely helped me on my journey. But it's still, it doesn't, it's not a golden key that fixes all of your issues. It's a step and a cog in the wheel of of change and then this journey of being a fully well-rounded best version of yourself.

SPEAKER_01 21:21

What's helped you the most with the PTSD?

SPEAKER_02 21:26

I would say it's definitely in the top two or three. I think uh the way I like to think of therapy is similar to going to any doctor's visit. You might go get surgery from uh you know getting your appendix taken out or getting wisdom teeth or any type of procedure. But the doctor does not heal you. The doctor gives you stats and prescribes you things. So that your body can heal itself. You need to take the time to heal yourself. So I would say spending time by myself and doing the legwork, journaling, practicing meditation, exploring spirituality and faith, all of those things really helped the therapy filled with the version of myself that I wanted to become. And that kind of um multi-pronged effort helped me get to where I am for sure.

SPEAKER_01 22:41

No, that makes a lot of sense. No, did you have any reluctance going? Because you mentioned people had suggested it to you.

SPEAKER_02 22:51

Yes, I did have reluctance in going to therapy. And truth be told, I actually my initial years were not as fruitful as they could have been in therapy, for example. And this is this is a problem that some of the service members have. If you share how much you are struggling, for example, if I would have shared exactly what I was going through in terms of struggling with mental illness, with suicidal ideations, guess what? Now my my security clearance is in jeopardy, my job is in jeopardy. Now that affects my ability to earn money. And now I have a bigger problem. So I did not fully feel comfortable in sharing everything that I wanted to share with the military therapist. So I ended up having to seek. I saw that I wasn't getting what I needed because I wasn't able to fully open up. So I had to seek therapy outside of the military and kind of really dive into my issues and some of the things that I was struggling with on a day in and day out basis versus just kind of the high level and telling them just enough, but not doing anything to jeopardize my career.

SPEAKER_01 24:14

Did you find success with being able to do that with a therapist, not through the military?

SPEAKER_02 24:20

Absolutely. Absolutely. And it took me time. I didn't realize to start that you should try out a multitude of therapists. You should find someone that works for you because you don't vibrate and resonate with everyone that you meet. And especially if you're divulging really intimate parts of your life, you need someone that you value and that you know resonates with you and your thought pattern and how they frame things. So not that they're going to tell you what to do, but you it's important to find someone that worked for you. So in in part, it was really that option that helped me progress a little bit quicker in my journey.

SPEAKER_01 25:11

That makes a lot of sense. I like how you mentioned seeing who works for you. You know, even if it's a doctor for physical ailments, like everybody's different. You might not resonate with some doctor for whatever reason. You know, they might have their qualifications, but maybe it's just not aligning with what you need, you know?

SPEAKER_02 25:32

Absolutely. Absolutely. And I say that for friends as well. You know, the friends that you can share relationship details with versus financial, you know, stressors in your life. You can't divulge we all know that you know everybody has their short sightings and shortcomings. But I think the bigger admonishment is go talk to someone about something that you're dealing with. You don't have to deal with whatever is bothering you in a vacuum. We don't live in a vacuum. Reach out, seek help. You might not have the right therapist now, or you might the first five therapists might not be the right therapist for you. But guess what? Keep trying because there is someone that's on your wavelength that will get you that maybe has had a similar experience themselves. And I think that's one of the things that I struggled with initially finding a therapist was I didn't have someone that understood my issues growing up in a cult or that had dealt with significant hardship in their life that I didn't feel like they understood the wave of fog that and quicksand that I was navigating through. So I couldn't trust their frameworks that they were trying to offer. Stopped again, it's not a one-size-fits-all.

SPEAKER_01 27:00

That's completely true. No, I'm curious how many therapists you went through to find the one that worked for you.

Finding The Right Therapist Fit

SPEAKER_02 27:08

So it's funny because I it's always kind of a moving target. I found someone in California when I was in the military. And about three months later, the Air Force sent me to Korea. And it took me time in Korea to find it. It took me a month to get on there to find an appointment with them and try them. Nope, that didn't work. But try the next person. Okay, I'm gonna do three uh sessions with this person. We're close. Maybe I keep going. And then guess what? A year and a half later, the Air Force sent me to Belgium. So it took me time there, you know. So it was a process, and it is a process, but I understand now that that's just that's just light. You know, when you move to these locations and you build friend groups, guess what? Everyone you run into isn't going to resonate with you. And I kind of think of it in that realm of it's okay. You don't have to click with everyone, but you will find someone that you click with if you open yourself up to it.

SPEAKER_01 28:28

I like that comparison to the friendships that you will find your people if you open yourself up to finding the people. If you are willing to, whether it's a therapist, whether it's a friend, whether it's a doctor for a physical ailment, like if you are open to finding it, I think you're gonna be more successful in finding that.

SPEAKER_02 28:50

Couldn't agree more. Absolutely. You will find your people. Birds of a feather will attract each other, and you will find, you know, if you are now it's one thing, if you are a diehard, you know, game of thrones person, I'm not a game of thrones person, but if you're watching it by yourself, you're not going to meet other people and you don't bring it up. But if, you know, you're for lack of a better term, if you're a basket weaver and you seek out a meetup group with other basket weavers, and you find the the Facebook groups, and guess what? You will find your people that are like-minded and operating on that similar interest group that will ultimately push you to the next level of basket weaving.

The Walk To Work Turning Point

SPEAKER_01 29:36

That makes so much sense. I'd love to transition a tad. Now, you've mentioned suicide ideation a few different times. I'm curious what you would say has helped you the most, not follow through with that.

SPEAKER_02 29:53

Oh my goodness. So, as I mentioned, as a 16-year-old, I don't really specifically know how I got through that one. I can't pinpoint any one particular uh overwhelming factor. But the second time, when I was living in Belgium and I was going through the divorce, and I was really struggling with this my my entire framework, my mental model of the world and how it was supposed to play out for with you know my family. As it was crumbling before my eyes, I struggled. And I turned to alcohol. I wasn't sleeping. I really I did not seek help with my community, I did not reach out to friends and share, you know, what I was struggling with. Hey, man, this divorce is really kicking my butt. And I am depressed, and I am I didn't share those things. And as a result, guess what? When you live in a cave of your creation with the negative feelings and emotions swirling around in your head, guess what? Those negative feelings and emotions will recreate more negative feelings and emotions. And I was at rock bottom again.

SPEAKER_03 31:20

Um during that situation in Belgium when I was going through divorce.

SPEAKER_02 31:31

I remember walking to work one morning, being drunk as a skunk, and battling with this thing, wrestling with if I was gonna do it, if I wasn't gonna do it, what does life look like if I stay alive? And a framework crossed my mind that I'd never considered before, and my I realized that if I killed myself, my daughter would never know the potential that I could be, B, she would think that is an option, that suicide is an option, and C that her dad couldn't fight through the pain of whatever I was dealing with, and therefore it could be an option for her, and I wasn't okay with it. My vision became crystal clear on that walk to work that I was not going to be an example of what not to do, I was going to be an example of what to do, how to pursue my dreams and goals, and to achieve them. And in that moment, on that walk to work, I decided to pursue my dream of directing live television events. In that moment, to answer your question, what got me through that moment was my why. The reason I thought to live was stronger than the things that were holding me down, and we all have that why, that reason to fight. You just have to find it. Sometimes we get clouded in our sense of the framework that we created, our identity that we can't see our way sometimes.

SPEAKER_04 33:43

Wow. That's a deep realization that you had. Oh wow. And has that helped you reframe this ideation sense?

SPEAKER_02 34:03

It has my my why and particularly my daughter and being an example has helped me so many times when I wanted to give up in, you know, pursuing my dream in television. You know, getting out of the Air Force after having a successful career as an airport operations manager, I started completely over-delivering coffee to kids much younger than me. And I'm like, I could definitely go back and be a government contractor, work on the civilian side at airports, work for airlines, make great money. I don't this. But understanding that I made a commitment to myself, I made a commitment to my daughter, and I needed to follow through with that. I needed to prove it to myself that I was the person that I thought I was. My identity was not a quitter, but one of the person that was going to fight through and show her, guess what? You can pursue your dreams, and I'm a living, breathing example of it.

SPEAKER_04 35:12

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 35:13

I think a lot of people don't think necessarily about the example that they are leaving for kids, whether it's their own kids, their nieces, their nephews, you know, I think it would change a lot of people's decisions, even people who pass by suicides. I've lost multiple family members to it. And I think had the mindset of do I want to show even my niece, my nephew that this is an option, even if not right now, even if in 10, 20, 30 years, versus do I not want them to think that this is an option.

SPEAKER_02 35:57

It's a tough quandary. And I don't know that there's a perfect answer that that fits in a nice little box, but to your point on the example that we lead, I think a lot of us as parents, and I'm guilty of this as well. We expect so much out of our children to make all the right decisions and do all the right things and you know, be present, be vulnerable, be strong, be, you know, all of the above when sometimes we don't embody that. We just embody the strength, but not necessarily the vulnerability. And to how to communicate with a partner when it's really difficult and how to navigate really tough situations and be okay. You know what? It's this two shall pass. You know, I think that is something that we we as a society are learning, we're struggling, but I think that is in order for us to be fully formed in the best version of ourselves, we have to be the example of what we want to see in the future. It starts with yourself.

SPEAKER_01 37:19

I completely agree. I completely agree that we have to be the example. I think that's so key. I think that's really key. How uh old was your daughter when you had this realization walking to work?

SPEAKER_02 37:34

She was eight years old. She is 18 now.

SPEAKER_01 37:41

Wow. So that was a while that was 10 years ago you had that realization. I think it's a really powerful way to shift how we show up, you know, like by the example that we want to lead and to show the next generation.

Balance Pillars Mindfulness And Fun

SPEAKER_02 38:04

Absolutely. Absolutely. Um, you know, again, being cognizant of the decisions that we make and why we are making them, you know, playing out the tape and understanding the the long game of what we're trying to do. What are we trying to build? Is it self-fulfilling? Is it to show and leave a legacy? Is it to feed our ourselves and our ego? And, you know, there's a place for all of it. We don't live in a bubble. We do want things that make us feel good. And there's nothing wrong with that. As long as we have balance and we are making sure we leave a positive impact on the world, it's so key to have that balance in life and making sure that we are navigating in a place that is genuine to us and genuine to you know those people that we're serving as well.

SPEAKER_01 39:00

What would you say balances to you?

SPEAKER_02 39:05

Great question. And I talk about this so much in my friend group. And I think it's a pendulum. I think we live in seasons and balance might, it flows from one day to another. Um, if you are on vacation, for example, the balance that you have during your work week is not the same balance that you have during those holiday times when you're spending time with family and you're connecting and you're trying to be present and you're sitting on the beach, not doing anything, just trying to decompress. You know, that's not the same way you carry yourself or the priority in which you put things in your life. Balance looks differently in different phases of life, whether you're in a learning and building and strategizing phase of life versus whether you're leaving a legacy and you're teaching others. So, you know, it's hard for me to share what it could be for someone else, but for me, it looks like making sure I have what I call six pillars of being a well-rounded, holistic person. So that's personal development, professional development, wealth management, um, which includes legacy, also health and movement, also personal development, professional development, wealth management, the nutritional side, and oh, interpersonal communication. That's not something that we that we're taught in schools. And my favorite pillar of all, fun, because I don't think as adults we focus on fun enough. Creativity side, laughing, really finding an inspiring genuine awe and joy. And that's where for someone like myself, I will I play the saxophone, uh, not as much as I used to, but creating art. I go whitewater rafting because it makes me feel alive and being in the moment, I am not in the shower, I'm not at dinner, I am not at work, I am on that boat trying to survive that moment. And I love it. I love it. It really, you know, that's kind of the ultimate definition of mindfulness, in my opinion. I use the definition of if you are listening and singing your favorite song in the shower, guess what? You're not at work, you're not thinking about your next meal, you're not at the grocery store, you're not planning lists, you're not planning on, you know, you know, what you're gonna do with the kids. You are in the moment. You are mindful of the song and being there and just totally encompassing and being there for that moment because that is your song, that is your moment. And that's what mindfulness is about for me. Trying to apply that in as many elements of your life, where whether you're with dinner with family, whether you're at work, whether you're in the shower, all of it has a place for you to be present. Topic there a little bit, but that's okay.

SPEAKER_01 42:22

No worries. And I I like how you tied in that it can be different, you know, depending on are you at work, are you on vacation, like what season of life are you in? Well, we all go through different seasons, you know, even if it's short seasons, like if you're taking a trip versus if you're in the middle of a work day, it's balance is gonna look different.

SPEAKER_02 42:47

Yeah, absolutely. Your priorities in that moment, from even from you know, your work day to your home life will look different than a weekend, you know. So it's important to uh one of the things that I've learned in the military is keeping the score, understanding where you are and where you're going. That's another thing I learned at television. Your mistakes in the past, and we'll we'll get to this, but in live television, you might have made a mistake. But guess what? It's a live event and you cannot take it back. The only thing worse than making one mistake is making two mistakes back to back. Because somebody's really gonna notice that at home. Refocusing yourself, centering yourself, making sure that the next move is the right move, understanding the big picture, understand where you are and where you are going. That is delight, in my humble opinion.

SPEAKER_01 43:51

Where you are and where you are going.

Discipline Over Distraction And Garbage In

SPEAKER_02 44:00

Or else you'll be rudderless. You'll be stuck on TikTok scrolling hours endlessly. You'll what you'll binge watch for hours. And guess what? That is a time waste. And if you are not fully living life, you are going to look back at that time saying, okay, only get 52 weekends in a year. Only, you know, X amount of time to spend with my partner, my spouse, my kids, my loved ones. And as opposed to being present with them and making a real memory, I chose to binge watch, you know, the Sopranos for two days straight, or whatever the case. And that's been me. I love the Sopranos. But you know, we all have to reconcile that with where we are going if that aligned with our value system, our North Star.

SPEAKER_01 44:52

No, that makes so much sense. No, I'm curious if you would say this ties into discipline.

SPEAKER_02 45:02

You know, there's so much distraction in the world. And whether it's, you know, fast, cheap, more appealing options in food versus, okay, you know what? Maybe I'm gonna eat something more healthy, more whole, more, you know, this thing resembles a plant or an animal that it came from in nature versus some ultra-processed foods. Now, granted, you know, we all have those moments where we just need something quick, but is that a habit that we have in our lives? Um, because I'm a big proponent, garbage in, garbage out. If you are putting garbage in your body, you cannot expect your body to perform at an elite level, either version of you want that you want to be. Another example, if you are watching garbage television and we're all guilty of it. You know, there are shows that are not serving us. But if you consume so much of this, guess what? That will encompass your mind, that will pre predominantly occupy your mind, and that is what you'll focus on. That is what you'll see when you navigate the world. You'll see the negativeness, as opposed to, okay, you know what? I had time for this. Guess what? I'm gonna fill my mind with some knowledge. I'm gonna practice mindfulness, I'm gonna learn, I'm gonna spend time exploring a new vacation that I can take with my family and share something with them that's going to move our family forward or advance our wealth and legacy moving forward. That balance is so important. So, for your question, when it comes to discipline, there are so many things that are distracting you. When you wake up, hey, you know what? Am I gonna sleep an extra 20 minutes? Or am I going to do the hard thing and get up and go work out and go eat so you know, eat something healthy and go ground myself before I go navigate in the world? Or as opposed to meditating and doing those things, you know what? I'm gonna lay in bed and I'm gonna scroll for a little bit. And you know what? Now I have to get out of bed. Okay, here we go. We're gonna do the we're gonna do the work thing now. You know, do we navigate with intention? Or do we let the certain things in the world distract us from our goals, our purpose, our North Star? Discipline, in my opinion, is the key to all of that. When you move forward and navigate with intention, with clarity, it will take a certain amount of discipline, a certain amount of mental fortitude. But guess what? When you know, when you realize that you have done harder things in your life, then get out of bed, get in the shower, meditate, do those things. We have every single last one of us has dealt with harder adversity in your life. It's gonna be okay. Do those things that you know you will thank yourself and you will love yourself just a little bit more because you were mindful. You chose to eat healthy. And guess what? When you do allow yourself that that meal with family because you know you're going home and mom cooks that, you know, that home cooked meal that touches you so well and it is so unhealthy, you can feel better about eating it because you've been disciplined.

SPEAKER_01 48:37

I like how you mentioned about the intention. Like, what is the purpose for it? What are we laying in bed for? What is the intention for how we're looking to show up? You know, and I love how you also mentioned we've all dealt with harder things before, you know, like even people listening to us, if they even if they haven't been to war, haven't done half of what you've done, like we've all done harder things than getting up when the alarm clock rings and it's time to wake up and go for the morning jog, go to the gym, whatever it is. We've all faced more adversity than that.

SPEAKER_02 49:18

Absolutely, and it's so important.

Identity Change Beats Motivation

SPEAKER_03 49:20

I think what I've learned in my research is motivation actually fails.

SPEAKER_02 49:30

And it's not it is not the cure all fix-all that people think that it is, what is longer lasting is identity change when you view yourself as someone who does something, for example, um and take this for the name or kind of a high-level example. If you subscribe to a religion that says you cannot drink alcohol or smoke tobacco, you identify with your core in your DNA as a person who does not smoke or drink. You have that option, it exists, but that is who how you identify. When you identify as someone who eats healthy, who someone who is a healthy, you know, person that works out, and you are a meditator, when you identify as this person, guess what? Your actions will align with it, and it won't be so start and stop. So, for example, in dieting, in the definition that we colloquially all accept for dieting, it means there's gonna come to an end. It means that you know you're getting off that wagon. And at some point, you know what? After we did the Thanksgiving thing, we're all gonna get on the diet, get it together so we can have the summer body, the summer bodies, and get on the beach and do the thing. Guess what? If you change it to guess what? I am, I identify as a healthy individual, and I eat some foods in moderation, but guess what? Overall, I am a healthy individual, and this is how a healthy individual carries themselves. They're gonna work out five times a week, they're gonna eat healthy foods, they're cognizant of the things that they put in their body and not just, you know what, I got a sweet tooth. Where's the ice cream? You know, it's late at night and we're all guilty of it. Reaching for the sweet thing right before we go to bed, you know, those things. When you identify to your core and decide you want to make this a part of your DNA, that is lasting change.

SPEAKER_01 51:54

I agree completely. You know, I've used this example. Some people don't love this example, but I was years and years ago, I used to be a vegetarian, and I feel like people who, whether they're a vegan, whether they're a vegetarian, and I'm not judging, but I feel like they strongly identify with that. Like that was one of the first things I would tell people is I'm a vegetarian. I was one for five years, and it would be like the second thing I would say, you know. So, like, if you embody that identity so strongly that you are telling even like strangers on the street, like this is like my identity, whatever it is, you're gonna show up by embodying that 100%.

SPEAKER_02 52:42

It does when you truly embody an identity, it does not matter how many times you walk down the snack aisle. It does not matter how many times you see the ice cream. Guess what? It might be hard, but you identify as someone who eats healthy. Now, there are times where you give yourself a permissible deviation. You're gonna do, you know what? I've had a great month. I'm gonna eat a little ice cream here. I'm gonna celebrate this thing with someone, you know, my partner's birthday. Guess what? I'm gonna allow myself to go to our favorite restaurant and enjoy this meal. But when you identify as someone who carries yourself in a healthy, mindful manner, it's different. Everything won't, while you might be tempted, you will not fold at the slightest. Oh, that man, that cake smells really good, and they're having it, and everybody else is having it at work. But guess what? That's not who I am. That's not the person that I am.

SPEAKER_01 53:44

It's so true. Any suggestions you may have for people to help them shift their identity?

Write Your Values And Train Focus

SPEAKER_02 53:53

Absolutely. Absolutely. I recommend writing down, and this is pen and paper, I know. Dig it out of dust it off, dig it out, but write down pen and paper what your goals are, who you want to be, how you want to show up in life. If you are struggling, it is important to have something tangible that you see. Because if you write it in your phone, guess what? If you put it in notes, you don't have to open up notes. But what I'm suggesting is something tangible that you can carry with you and you put it in your pocket. And every day you wake up, I want you to read this before you go to bed, when you're brushing your teeth. I want you to read it and say, did my actions and value, or did my actions align with the values that I've written down? The person that I've made, this is kind of a contract that you want to be and how you want to show up for yourself. And this is a situation where nobody else is gonna judge you, but you're gonna need to use that discipline that we talked about, that mindset change, that identity change. That you know what? I carry myself with integrity. I did I meditated as opposed to blowing up uh, you know, at my partner when he did that thing that he knows it dances on my nerves, or she really she was on me about the thing again, and I didn't do that. Are you acting and navigating in your the identity and values that you want? Guess what? Before you know it, you keep that your North Star, you're gonna be there. You will be the person that you want to be.

SPEAKER_01 55:38

I love that suggestion. And the writing it down and keeping it with you. I think that that is so key. I agree completely about the pen and paper, but I I love that little extra tip about keeping it right with you in your pocket and you're reading it every day.

SPEAKER_02 55:56

You have to think of it like a vision board for the person that you want to be. So when I wanted to become a live television director, I at times I was struggling so hard that I could not look at myself in the mirror. But I put pictures of control rooms and interviews of directors and various things that were associated with directing on my mirror that I was forced to look at every single day. On my bedside table, I had pictures. I surrounded myself in the world that I wanted to live in. I created it with pictures and it became my reality. Because in this, some people might associate manifestation with woo-woo or spirituality or things that aren't maybe for them. Manifestation is built in science. There's actual science that says if you continue to look at things, your brain will find a way to find a correlation to make those things that you're looking at happen. You're gonna seek opportunities, your brain will filter for opportunities that you are most aligned with. So that's why it's incredibly important to every single day, multiple times if you can't look at that list. Identify with what you've written down. And guess what? If you aren't able to hold up to those values that you've written down, then you need to adjust your goals because you've made a goal that might be too lofty for where you are. Um, it's important to what we call smart goals, sizable, achievable in a timely manner, uh, that you can achieve these goals so that you because if you say, hey, you know, I'm going to be the CEO of a Fortune 500 company and I want it tomorrow, we might have some problems here. But if you say that you are going to build something that you're passionate about and you're going to take your time and understand your customer base and do all of these things, guess what? All of these little goals will lead you to your big goal.

SPEAKER_01 58:19

That makes a lot of sense. Wow. I really like the suggestion of keeping it with them, you know, because like out of sight, out of mind, you know, like I've always been somebody who's been big on the journaling, but it's like, where do you put the journal? Even if it's a physical journal, you know, like to re-look at it and keep it in the mind, you know?

SPEAKER_02 58:40

Absolutely. It's so important to keep it in the forefront of your mind. Your subconscious will take over. And if you have not trained your subconscious to focus on what you want it to focus on, it will drift and things will pull your attention. But if you again, if you write it down, you keep it with you, and guess what? That piece of paper is going to get beat up and tattered, and you're going to write it again. You know, thus also reinforcing, okay, maybe I don't want to word it this way, but I want to reframe it and word it this way to help you achieve the next goal. It's all about those little adjustments that work for you that help you get to your goal.

SPEAKER_01 59:20

That makes so much sense. Now, I'm curious. I ask a lot of guests this, and I'm sure you've had multiple, but I'm curious what you would say is the biggest aha moment you've had in your life.

SPEAKER_03 59:40

The biggest.

Aha Moments And Self Rescue

SPEAKER_02 59:42

One of them for sure was when I was in Iraq and the mortars were raining down, and I'm seeing, you know, I I still have the imprint of in my mind of the first, I can't even call it a dead body, but the first bits of body that I saw that uh unfortunately someone passed from a mortar attack, and I realized that if I were to make it out of that situation, if I were to somehow be granted the privilege of life, when perhaps there's these other people that died that were more deserving of life than I. If I were to make it out, I cannot live in my comfort zone. I must make every moment count. I must do something to help other people, to help move myself, to inspire people, because it would be such a waste if I came out of that really horrible situation and let it dampen the rest of my life. If I let it hold me back from being the version of myself that gives openly and kindly and shows up for people, that that life is so precious that you really have to seize the moment and be someone amazing, do something amazing every day because you're not gonna get it back.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:31

That's so true. That's a deep aha.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:36

Just a deep aha.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:38

That's what I got. Sorry.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:42

No worries, no worries, but I can only imagine that was like an aha for you. That like to fully show up and to live live your life to the fullest as most you can.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:00

Yeah. I would say kind of akin to it, but slightly different. You know, no one is coming to save you. No one is your mama, your daddy, you know, your boss. No one is coming to help you recover from the really traumatic things that happened in your life that you had no control over. No one is coming to save you. You need to lean into your support system and get the help that needs so you can heal yourself to be the best version of yourself. Only you can save you. Only you can heal you. Friends can't heal you, your mama can't heal you, your daddy can't heal you. You have to do the hard work in being the best version of yourself. If you see that you're showing up a way that you don't love for your partner, that there's some things that are triggering you. Guess what? You gotta deal with it because they're not gonna fix themselves.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:10

It's true.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:12

It's completely true. No matter what it is, you know, even like you had mentioned, like you had friends or family that had suggested you going to therapy, like nobody's gonna do it for you. Even the people that are gonna be there to support you and have you back, give you suggestions on what might help, they can't do it for you.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:35

They can't do it for you. And it's important to know that the person that you are building in this process, the new identity, the new version of you as you go through this journey, you will be proud of the journey. Is worth it. You will thank yourself, you will be it is hard. My god, it is hard, and you are faced with the per I cannot tell you because I was hurt and I did not deal with my drama, and drama and trauma for that matter, I hurt people, I hurt people unintentionally, and I've made so many missteps. But in that growing and learning and making mistakes, and I call it falling, not failing, you fell. Failure is never trying again, but getting up and fighting so you can be the best version of yourself. So because when you are, you know, when we're in our later years and we're looking back at our grandchildren, and do you want to show them and be the example of someone that never evolved from the age of 18? Once you left your parents' house, you did the same thing, you were the same person. Like, I mean, that's great if you're a good person, but there's always room for growth. There is always room to uh expand and be a better version of yourself. Do you want to be an example of someone that just played it safe and didn't try and didn't live vulnerably and openly? Or are you gonna bear down and have some tough times? And you know what? Look at yourself in the mirror and have the tough conversations and say, guess what? You didn't do so hot today, but you can do better and you will do better. Those are the types of things that I think makes a life worth living, makes a life so fulfilling when you can see the growth in yourself, and you know what? I don't need you to tell me that I'm a better version of myself because I know it. I've been doing the hard work and it sucks, but it's worth it.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:57

I completely agree, Logan. I completely Completely agree that it sucks, but it is it's completely worth it. Well, thank you so much. I really enjoyed speaking with you.

Fast Questions Legacy And Kindness

SPEAKER_02 1:06:09

I appreciate you, Mandy. Thank you so much for sharing some of your mindsets and having this opportunity. This is so key. You know, I encourage everyone out there to just, you know, reach out to Mandy, reach out to myself. You know, we're your friends. We're here to help you. Don't be a stranger if you feel like you don't have that support system. There's plenty of people that care and do want the best for you and are here to listen.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:35

I completely agree. I completely agree. No, have you heard of a man named Jay Shetty?

SPEAKER_02 1:06:44

Yes, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:45

So I'm a big fan, big fan of him. He has a podcast called On Purpose, and he ends it with two segments. And I've stolen those two segments. Oh, I borrowed them, depending on who you have. But they're not my questions, but I use his two segments to end my podcast as well. And I give him credit because I did not come up with these questions, and everybody always says, Oh my god, where do they come from? They're not mine. These are Jay Shetty's questions. But he ends it with two segments, and I've stolen those segments, and I end my podcast with those segments. The first segment is the many sides to us, and there's five questions, and they need to be answered in one word each.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:30

Shoot.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:31

What is one word someone who was meeting you for the first time would use to describe you as?

SPEAKER_02 1:07:47

The first it there's three words that came to mind. So I'll tell you them and I'll try to condense it into one word, but full of life was the first thing that that came. So I guess I'll use vibrant.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:03

What is one word that someone who knows you extremely well would use to describe you as?

SPEAKER_03 1:08:12

Weird.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:17

What is one word you'd use to describe yourself?

SPEAKER_02 1:08:23

Fun loving.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:26

What is one word that if someone didn't like you or agree with your mindset would use to describe you as?

SPEAKER_02 1:08:33

Weird.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:37

What is one word you're trying to embody right now?

SPEAKER_03 1:08:47

Peace.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:49

Second segment is the final five, and these can be answered in up to a sentence. What is the best advice you've heard or received?

SPEAKER_02 1:09:01

Oh my goodness. I think we we touched on that earlier with my grandma. Um you know, that sentence being only the strong survive.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:13

Why would you say that's the best advice?

SPEAKER_02 1:09:17

Life will throw so many trials and tribulations and you know, tough waters, you know, turbulent air. But if you have that North Star, if you have the strong value system, you can make it through. If you have discipline, if you know where you are and where you are going, you will be just fine.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:41

What is the worst advice you've heard or received?

SPEAKER_02 1:09:47

I attribute this worst advice to the version of me that keeps me held back. And that advice would be don't talk to anyone. You're not good enough, you're not worthy, you're not special, you're not you're not same person.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:16

Is there anything that helps you not listen to that?

SPEAKER_02 1:10:23

Understanding that that is a version of me that I choose not to indulge, that is a version of me that some of those artifacts from the childhood, some of the artifacts from Iraq not being good enough, not being worthy. And I I think it's probably just a generic, you know, kind of human experience, but I think it's so key to understand that that version of me is not the person that is actually going. I'm not going to allow that negative, scared, anxious individual leave a lasting impression on the people that I interact with on a daily basis. My daughter, I don't want her to pick up that negativity, that play it small, that timid, negative, low vibrational headspace. I want her to see the best version. I talk to her about it, I make her aware that she's not alone when she experiences this because she got it honestly from her mama and her daddy, you know. But it is also key that you don't in actions, you don't navigate in that uh negative headspace.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:45

I get what you mean. What is something that you used to value but that you no longer value?

SPEAKER_02 1:12:01

I would say having a lot of clothes and stuff. And I think I'm assuming you're gonna ask, you know, why? And the answer is I found in life that I value experiences more than things. So I would rather, as opposed to buying someone a, you know, let's just say generically, a Amazon gift card, I would rather buy them a dinner and create a memory. I would rather buy them a spa day or let's go do a road trip and you know, and have that experience where that experience will last far longer than anything I could purchase.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:03

That makes sense. If you could describe what you would want your legacy to be, as if someone was reading it, what would you want it to say?

SPEAKER_02 1:13:14

I would say, in terms of the legacy, someone Logan was someone who did not finish the way he started. He tried to make the world a better place. He was kind and caring, and uh he dealt he got dealt a tough hand of cards, but didn't let it keep him down.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:43

I love that. If you could create one law in the world that everyone had to follow, what would it be?

SPEAKER_01 1:13:52

And I want to know why.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:55

I think navigating in this is tough. I would say navigating in kindness if I were to mandate that everyone be kind to not only other people but themselves, it is mandatory, imperative. We wouldn't have, you know, we you could still accomplish everything that you need to in life. But if you are kinder to yourself, you're not so belittling, you're not so dismissive, you give that version of yourself love that needs love, versus uh, you know what, I'm just going to work through and plow through and grind through these experiences versus, you know what, I'm gonna be kind and show myself a little extra love and you know, meditate a little bit longer, or you know what, I'm gonna take a little bit extra time off and spend with family versus you know what, I'm just going to plow through life and be a little more brash and maybe be a little dismissive of those things that I need for myself or that I see other people need for themselves.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:12

I like that. I like that. Thank you so much, Logan.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:16

Thank you so much for having me. It was a pleasure.

Final Words And How To Connect

SPEAKER_01 1:15:18

Yeah, absolutely. And I do just uh like to give it back to the guests. Any final words you want to leave the listeners with before we close out?

SPEAKER_02 1:15:31

Absolutely, absolutely. Um, you know, your situation, as I mentioned, your situation is not predetermined. How you start is not how you finish in this game called life. You can change, you can be the version of yourself that shows up in ways that you want to, and there's always room for growth. I think that so many people struggle with sometimes being stuck in life. And if maybe you perhaps you're one of those people, please reach out. I am at the loganunlimited.com. I help people accomplish more using neuroscience, using military strategy, and attacking your goals. And I help people accomplish and get past those stuck phases in life. So please reach out. I and or if you just want to talk, I'm available too.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:27

Awesome. And I I will link Logan's contact info in the show notes for you guys to connect with him directly. And thank you so much again, Logan. I really appreciate it.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:37

I appreciate you. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:40

And thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of Me and News Mindset. In case no one told you today, I'm proud of you. I'm voting for you. And you got this. As always, if you enjoyed the show, I would really appreciate it if you would leave me a five-star rating. Leave a review. And share with anyone you think would benefit from that. And don't forget. You are only one nine-step just away from shifting your late. Thanks guys, until next time.