Manders Mindset

Why 80% of Change Has Nothing to Do With Diet or Exercise | Christiaan Hofman | 179

• Amanda Russo • Episode 179

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What if the reason “starting over” feels so hard… is because you’re trying to change habits before you’ve changed the way you see yourself?

In this episode of Manders Mindset, host Amanda Russo sits down with mindset and movement coach Christiaan Hoffman for a wide-ranging, thought-provoking conversation about identity, comfort zones, and why real transformation starts in the mind long before it shows up in the body. Christiaan shares how his life experiences—from growing up in the Netherlands to solo backpacking across Australia and training in martial arts—influenced the way he coaches people to close the gap between who they are and who they’re meant to be.

Together, Amanda and Christiaan unpack why “discipline” isn’t just about willpower, why most people burn out after a few months of trying to change, and how black-and-white thinking can quietly keep you stuck. Expect a conversation that challenges the typical fitness narrative, reframes emotions and identity, and brings everything back to one simple question: 

What’s the outcome you actually want? 🎯

💡 In this episode, listeners will learn:

🧠 Why identity and belief systems shape results more than motivation
 🔥 Christiaan’s “80/10/10” framework (psychology, diet, movement) and why it works
 🏃‍♂️ How to rebuild confidence in your body using simple, effective movement
 🥤 Why deprivation backfires and how small reductions create big change over time
 🧩 The difference between self-conception vs. self-definition (and why it matters)
📖 How Christiaan spent 8 years building a psychological model and writing his book
⚖️ Why “no black-and-white thinking” could change everything from fitness to conflict
😮 His take on emotions, stability, and staying focused on outcomes
👟 The Dutch saying about “soft healers” and when a kick-in-the-butt is actually love

⏰ Timeline Summary

 [2:24] Growing up in the Netherlands as the “middle child fighter” and what that shaped in him
 [4:46] The spontaneous decision to backpack Australia solo and why waiting until retirement doesn’t make sense
 [11:15] Why desk jobs didn’t work for him and the importance of understanding how you function
[13:23] His philosophy on movement: simple, effective, and built for real life capability
[16:57] The “80% psychology” truth bomb and why most routines fail without support
[20:43] Why restriction backfires and how Amanda approached weight loss by adding “more good” instead of cutting everything out
[30:25] When diets become identity and why black-and-white thinking makes change harder
[40:09] How writing a book forced him to define concepts and led to his psychological model
[47:34] The Dutch saying: “soft healers make stinking wounds” 👣 and when people need a push
[51:15] “Emotions are overrated” 😮 his perspective on anxiety, reaction vs. response, and stability

To Connect with Amanda:

Schedule a 1:1 Virtual Breathwork Session HERE

📸 Instagram: @thebreathinggoddess

Follow & Support the Podcast:

📱Instagram: @MandersMindset
👥 Join the Manders Mindset Facebook Community HERE!

To Connect with Christiaan:

Website: https://www.sportnaturel.com/

📘 His Book: To Meet Yourself, Think For Yourself 

SPEAKER_00:

Welcome to the Mandars and Mindset podcast. Here you'll find both monologue and interviews of entrepreneurs, coaches, healers, and a variety of other people. Where your host, Amanda herself, will discuss her own mindset and perspectives, and her guest's mindset and perspectives on the world around us. Mandars and her guests will help explain to you from shifting your mindset to the shift your life.

SPEAKER_02:

Welcome to Amanda's Mindset, where we explore the power of shifting your mindset to shift your life. I'm your host and Mandarin. And I am so excited to be here with today's guest, Christian Hoffman. He's all about helping you close the gap between who you are and who you're meant to be, whether it's getting back into movement, feeling confident in your body again, or just living with more intention and energy. Thank you so much for joining me.

SPEAKER_05:

Thank you very much for having me. Glad to be.

SPEAKER_02:

Who would you say Christian is at the core?

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, that's nice. Uh at the core, that's my self-conception. And my self-conception is made up by my identity. So the identity consists of my personality, my character, my qualities, competencies, and skills. Underneath there, there is an underlying comfort zone where I reside very comfortably. And in that comfort zone, I have an understanding, knowledge, and a confidence going for me. And if I step too far out of it, it's be a little bit tricky. But with my comfort zone, it's connected to my self-image. And my self-image consists of my beliefs that I hold, my mindset that I have, and the moral code that I is lingering, always always there. And that defines my self-definition. So, and a self-definition is yeah, it's depending on the belief that I'm holding. And those beliefs come from my culture, my upbringing, the circumstances and dogmas and uh climate and environment that I live in. So, and that eventually comes to a certain decision, behavior, and my outcome, my destiny. So if you ask me what is me that's in that group, I can probably give you a more specific answer. But um, yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Can you take us down, Memory Lane? Tell us a little bit about your upbringing childhood dynamic.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, yeah, sure. I'm from the Netherlands. I'm Dutch. I'm living here for nine years now. I'm the middle child, the fighter in the family. I had great parents, yet a hardworking ethic. They took us a lot of vacations and camping and such, so good childhood memories, nothing to really strive for or to uh regain. I hear that a lot. I didn't have the need to do that. It makes it also a little bit boring and also less a thrive to fend for certain things that I didn't have in the past. You see that more online that people can reach far because they missed something in the past. And you often hear that with kids that maybe don't have siblings and one of the parents passed away. So they have a very strong drive to put something down that's hey, that's me, and this is what I stand for, and this is what I want to reach. But if you don't have that, unfortunately, that life is more difficult in another way for those people that had a very difficult time, and maybe still have, but it doesn't mean that other people don't have the difficulties to uh get along in life or move forward.

SPEAKER_02:

How was schooling for you as a kid?

SPEAKER_05:

I totally left that out. But I came to, of course, uh from my parents were like a blue-collar family. So what I've learned is I copied my parents. So you ask your parents, well, what's good to do? Well, work. Okay, well, work doing what? And you're not knowing much, so you get the know-how from your parents. I went into becoming a plumber and staller of things and a welder. And eventually I thought, okay, well, this is fun. I get very concentrated in these things, but it's not all that I want in life. So I went backpacking in Australia for a year and did some things in Hong Kong, China, and other countries. They let me back and I did different works, like I don't know, different occupations. And eventually I thought I have to go back to school. So I went back to university. I became a teacher, PE instructor, and a personal trainer. Became also a soccer coach and a sports therapist, like a massage therapist. So yeah, and then eventually I came up with a psychological model because I was always interested in psychology of things.

SPEAKER_02:

Can I pause you real quick?

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, press the pause button.

SPEAKER_02:

About how long ago was it you went on this backpacking trip?

SPEAKER_05:

It was 2001.

SPEAKER_02:

What made you decide you were gonna go backpacking for a year?

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, I was sitting in a break room while I was a plumber, and I read an article about a girl who was backpacking in Australia. It's like that looks so fun. And I said to the guy I was working with, I'm gonna do that this summer. I said, Hey, crazy, you have to do that, like you have to save money for that. I said, I'm starting right now, and it was the day after the first day of the year or something, like at Christmas or something. So I didn't meet my own standards at six months. I went in September, it took nine months, and I had a delay because 9-11 happened that time. We had to fly over Russia and such. We could not fly over the Middle East.

SPEAKER_02:

So I remember and did you go by yourself for this trip?

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, by myself.

SPEAKER_02:

How was it?

SPEAKER_05:

It was great, you know. You don't have to uh wait on making the choice. I've met other people, I met other groups, of course, and they said like they travel together, and eventually after three months, and that's most of the time, the time frame, three months, they break up. The group falls apart because everybody has their own uh personality going on for them and their own decision making, their own money they have to fend for. So they break up and they're on their own ways, which is a great thing because I think it's good to have an experience for yourself and try to see who you are and how you react in certain difficult circumstances. And that was my thing, like seeking up certain difficult circumstances. And I've been in difficult circumstances, I've been robbed and everything. So it's all good.

SPEAKER_02:

Wow, that's just so fascinating to me. Now, it didn't detoe you at all when it's like you had somebody who said to you, You can't do that, you gotta save up for a while, you gotta plan it.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, well, I always feel like, how do you know that I don't I can't do it? You know, have you done it? No. All right, well, your opinion doesn't matter then. If I was more likely.

SPEAKER_02:

I I love that mindset. You know, so many people are like, you can't do XYZ, and they've never done it. So it's like, how are you gonna tell me that I can't do this when you haven't done it? You wouldn't know the first half of it. And it's not if it's somebody who's at least done it and it's like, oh, they're trying to tell you it's hard, it's whatever. Okay, I'll listen to that, and not saying I won't do it, but if somebody's never done what I'm trying to do or saying I'm gonna do, their opinion is the last person I'm ever gonna listen to.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, and that's the funny thing is he said, you know what? I said, Why not do it now? Well, you're young, you don't have that much money, and everything. I said, I understand that, but uh would you ever do something like that? Yeah, he said, like, well, I started my family, and I'm going to do it when I'm like 65, I'm retired. I said, Who's who says that you can even walk when you're 65? You have to find that out. You don't know, and you don't even make it. Like, I can do it now, I can run up mountains if I want to. Yeah, I can't do it probably when I'm 65 with my spouse. But bring her to those things. So yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

I get it. So after this trip, you come back after the year trip.

SPEAKER_05:

I'm glad, yeah, I came back. I was first robbed and I went to China and I did some martial arts and I played soccer, but I did martial arts there, and I was already messed up, face was messed up because I was robbed. I I had to fight seven people, and I was beat up. And then so when I left to Hong Kong and we did some martial arts and everything, I insisted on it was my idea. I want to do a fight, like a real fight, controlled in a way that is like no rules, but just like a one-on-one fighting and see how it how it goes. I did that there too. It was pretty harsh, but it was all good. You learn from those things. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

After Hong Kong, did you go somewhere else?

SPEAKER_05:

Well, yeah, I've been in uh Italy and in England. I worked there for a little bit also. So yeah. Not that uh always traveling around. And that's probably how I I've been to America before, and later on, I've I've met my wife in America, oh, in Memphis, because I was a coach for a singer, and he asked me to come along because I sang a little bit and I was not afraid to travel and stand in front of an audience, and he said, Well, go with me, help me out. So I did that for four years, and uh, in my third year over there, I met my wife in the audience. So that's why I'm the reason I'm here in America. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Nice. So, how long after the Australia backpacking in Hong Kong did you come back to America? How long after?

SPEAKER_05:

About oh, I came back in 2002 and then I started to do all different kinds of work, save some money up, and I think in 2005, I went to America by myself.

SPEAKER_02:

What was your first step when you came back? Was it getting a job?

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, that's funny because um I thought I can all my uh boss said you can always come back to us. They like my work style and everything. I said, All right. So when I actually came back, and there was a transition of the Euros and the Fildon. Fildon was the monetary thing there at the moment, and they changed to Euros. So when I left, it was still filled in, and when I came back, it was Euros. And I did not, it was like the half of what it was value for a Gilden. So I did not know exactly like, okay, how do you do these things? And I was talking with the boss, and he said, Well, this is what you can earn. I said, Well, that looks like a hell of a lot less, you know? It looks like half. Well, euros, you know. And then we messed it out, and it's like, oh, I'm going to earn less than I left before. You're gonna make me earn less. Well, you know, and then he started to like making the deal, like you can earn a little bit more. I said, No, you know who I am, you know I worked for you, you know how I work, you want me back, and now you're trying to. I said, No, I'm not doing those tricks and deals. I quit at the time, like I instantly said, No, I'm not gonna do this. Because there's a certain honesty in and yeah, that you have to have up front. And if you don't have it, if you want to play games, well, I'm I don't want to play those games. I'm not the one to do those things. I'm honest in my approach, so I expect someone else to do the same thing and not just uh pull a finger in that way. That's something else, insurance or something. I can't even remember. There's so many things. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay, and how long did you do insurance? So these other things before you like made your way out of that?

SPEAKER_05:

Well, you know, I started in 2000 uh was eight on my university. I think maybe 2006 or 2008, I started going back in schooling. It was a period of two, three years that I did all random stuff just to see what sticks, what is nice to do. And nothing really stick that much. I don't want to sit behind a desk. So a lot of jobs fell off. But I don't have that, yeah. I can't do it. Literally, I cannot do it. Even if I try it now, if I sit in the morning behind the desk, I fall asleep. And that's literally, I cannot open my eyes anymore. I don't know what it is, but if you put me in the behind a desk at like at six o'clock in the evening till like two o'clock in the night, I'm good to go. I'm focused, I'm laser focused, and I can do it for hours, but not in the morning. If it requires me to have a day job and start in the morning, I'm out. I can't do that in the morning. Don't function that way, I guess. And that's what you have to do. You have to find out what functioned for you, otherwise it become so miserable.

SPEAKER_02:

That is so true. What did you go to university for? What did you study?

SPEAKER_05:

It was becoming a PE instructor, like a teacher for kids from four-year-old till 12 years old at that time. And I was able to teach till 18 years old. So I did all those things, and I worked with special needed kids for a while because you could choose that, and I thought, hey, that's a little bit more difficult. So I like a challenge than that. So I worked with those kids a long time. And when I came in the States, I worked with difficult children here as well. It's a direct care. They call it different right now, but you deal with kids that come from well-established families, and they are either have an addiction, drugs, porn, drinking, whatever. And that's why they end up there. And they sit there for uh most of the time minimum of six months or till two years. So yeah, it was a heavy job. Rough. That's good. You learned a lot. You learn a lot about yourself.

SPEAKER_02:

That's true. Now, did you enjoy being the PE teacher? How was that?

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, I like the physicalness of it. So I like martial arts and the technical side of it. Like, how do you move your arm in such a way that's like the least amount of effort, but has a lot of impact. And if you try to figure that out and eventually you come closer to that standard, that is what works for me. And if I can give that to someone else to make a body better, that makes me happy, makes someone else happy. And that's what I do with the Sport Matreal, the company I have now. So I try to make people better quickly with first easy things, it doesn't need to be all crazy. So I try to make it simple but effective, and that's the main goal I have. So now I am more in the losing weight area. I'm not really into diets though. So I say to other people, if they want to work with me, like 10% is your diet, the other 10% is working out, and 80% is psychology. So that's kind of the ratio you have to work on.

SPEAKER_02:

Now you mentioned simple things. Can you give me an example of some of the simple things?

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, so whatever you eat, and simple things in diet is whatever you eat. I don't want to touch that too much, but I'm going to meddle with it. If you like drinking Coca-Cola, if you drink three liters a day, I'd probably reduce it to one can a day. You still can do it, but you don't have to abstain from the things that you like. Because that never is successful. If you take things away from kids, they start to act up. You know, you try to make it so that it's still beneficial for both of you. And maybe to learn something and get healthy. So that's what I try to do. Make it simple in that way. And with workouts, I try to make it simple first with the basic movements that everybody can should be doing, they should be able to do. And then I gradually increase the difficulty of it because if it stays too simple, you lose your uh enthusiasm for it. So you think like, okay, this sucks. And that's why I don't want to go to any fitness station because all those things you get bored.

SPEAKER_02:

What do you mean, any fitness station?

SPEAKER_05:

Well, you know, if you go to any brands out there, big brands like Planet Fitness or Crunch Fitness, you go in there and they have all their machines, they have their maybe the groups lessons going on for me and some spinning wheels. If you uh sit three times in the week, you do spinning, then you probably like spinning. Yeah, it's very uh specific, and if it makes you happy, great. But you're not gonna be evolving on other areas. You know, you're gonna be very specific in that area you're gonna grow. It's the same with swimming. If you're a very good swimmer, well, you don't expect yourself to be a runner. You have to do both. You cannot just uh so I implement a lot of things to make you more capable in life. I learned from my capabilities. I was in Australia. I've swim in the ocean, I swim in a dark in the ocean, I did scuba diving, I've been robbed, I had to fight, I ran up a mountain. You know, you do a lot of things that demands a certain physicality, and it I want to be capable in life and not uncapable, like oh, I can't do this. Oh, maybe it's nice, I don't know, but I can't do it. We climb trees and those things, and uh makes it a little bit different. Always a challenge.

SPEAKER_02:

I get what you mean. Now you say it's 80% psychological and 10% diet and then 10% the movement.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Why is that?

SPEAKER_05:

Well, you everything goes with your mindset and uh the belief that you hold and how you see yourself. So if you see yourself as fat, well, good luck. You're not gonna lose anyways. It's a very important factor in everything you want to do. So if you want to become rich, well, if you see yourself as poor, well, good luck getting rich. You know, it goes with the mindset. So if you can change the mindset in whatever you're starting to do, you have a higher possibility of achieving it. Now, you can never give a guarantee because it's dependent on certain factors, but you can certainly live and work towards a certain goal. And if you do it with a coach, it becomes like 200% easier than doing it alone. Because you burn out after most of the people burn out after three months, and if they have a little bit more oomph to them, maybe six months, you know, but then it starts to wear out. Very normal because you cannot hold on to a new routine for a long period of time. Because routines are uh uh is a choice to do, and if people say like and make it a habit, well, it's not a habit to brush my teeth, you know. The movement of brushing your teeth is a habit, but to to actually decide to brush my teeth is every time a decision. Now, if you make a routine over and over, the the weight of the decision making becomes less, so it becomes easier, but it's always there, it's always there, and that's the difficulty. Now, if you want to change like a little bit in your diet and you're starting to work out, that's two decisions. It's already becoming difficult right now. Now, and if you don't have a coach, how long do you think you can maintain this difficult decision that you have to make every time? It's not gonna be easy, certainly not in the beginning, maybe after three years, because now that impulse is like more, it doesn't demand much power anymore, more uh energy. It's all about maintaining our energy. So uh that's why we live in a homeostasis. Like we we have a little bit of stress and then we want to relax a little bit. But if you relax too long, well, you you want a little bit of stress, you know, you you want a little bit of uh maybe curiosity grows, you want a little bit of excitement, and it's very normal because that's the homeostasis. And the homeostasis is not like I'm comfortable, that's not homeostasis, that's a part of a homeostasis, you know, it's always in that balance and the up and down. It's very difficult to always live in that perfect balance and harmony because the harmony is within the ups and downs. Now you have to choose your ups and downs. If you are very emotional, the ups are a little bit higher and the lows are a little bit lower, a little bit deeper. And now it becomes also a drain. It costs you more energy to become become more stable. So there's a lot of factors. So you have to know the personality of someone, you have to know what makes you tick. How strong is your curiosity? Like if someone says, Oh, you go into Australia, well, good luck with that. Why would you do that? All right, I'm very curious. I want to see how. How it feels there, how the life is there, what the climate is there. So if you curiosity is strong, you can make easier decisions. It doesn't matter what you do. Same in gaming. If there's a new game, there's always that stuff like, okay, I need to do all those new things, I need to learn a lot of new things, but your curiosity is carrying you over those learning little steps, little hills that you have to take. If curiosity dies out, because okay, now I know everything, and now I understand this thing. Your curiosity dies out a little bit, and if you don't get rewards anymore, now you're working against the or pushing a boulder up against the hill systems. That's why you have to have a coach, I guess.

SPEAKER_02:

That makes a lot of sense. I like how you mentioned not fully depriving them of like if they're drinking three liters of coke, not telling them to completely stop it. You know, I think that's a really big thing because even like you mentioned, you're telling the kid that they can't have this, they want it even more if they didn't even want it that bad before, because like, oh mind, want what somebody says that we can't or we shouldn't have. And I have my own history with a weight loss journey. And one of the biggest things when I first started doing this myself was I didn't deprive myself of anything, not a single thing. And one of the first basic things I started with was adding in more of what I considered quote unquote good, whether it was fruits, vegetables, more water. So it was just I'm adding more positive. I'm not taking away, but I am just adding in more of the positive. Because I had a trainer at the time that was like, you gotta start meal prepping, you gotta do this. And I'm like, buddy, I've never done any of this in my life. I might be young, I was like 23 at the time, but I'm like, I have gone 23 years with not meal prepping, with never going to a gym. You think I'm just gonna wake up and ball on the other side of the bed and be this whole new person? It's not going to stick. And he's like, You can't keep even the same stuff. And I'm like, for right now, yeah, yeah, I can. I'm adding in more of the good. So I like how you mentioned that because I think a lot of people, even a lot of coaches, sometimes have the mindset of you gotta stop this, or you gotta just do this. And it's if I have never, even if you don't want to call it a habit, if I have never done that, I'm not just gonna wake up and suddenly stop being able to do this.

SPEAKER_05:

Right, right. And that's I think when a lot of people go off the rails and they look at people that actually do it. So you have those people, they go to the gym, it's their routine, and they made it a habit, right? They walk into the gym and the habit kicks in. They put their, I don't know, the towel there, they have the drink in their hands, and then it instantly kicks out and they do their thing. But if you look at that and you want to be, that means, hey, but it's that that's not part of my life, that's not me. I don't identify with it yet. So it's very hard to identify with someone else when you are it's not that. And we want things in life what other people have because it works for them, but it doesn't always work for us, not in the beginning, at least. So if you want to get there, you can get there. But it goes with first of the mindsets and a lot of rehearsal, reframing maybe of sentence of more like, oh, I am a healthy person, instead of like I want to be, you know, I am a healthy, I make healthy choices. Yeah, and I say that to myself because I always think I am. But I um yeah, people ask me, what do you eat then? You ever go to like a Chick-fil-A? Yeah, I do that too sometimes. It's sporadic, but I I don't care if I need to eat and there's time and everything else is involved because life gets in the way sometimes, and I get uh you can be too picky in certain ways. I mean, your body is there to uh process a lot of things, that's what it does, even it processes water, and that's not clean, you know. If you drink too much of it, it kills you. If you get too much air, too much oxygen, it kills you. You know, it's always a moderation of things, and your lungs will die off because you try to filter off all the environmental uh pollution that you don't think of, but it has to filter it. I mean, it has an ability, but eventually, yeah, it dies off because you will die off, and it's all okay. So you don't have to, I don't want to be worrying because I've been in the streets and I've been in groups and I've been around people in that way. You take it very far too at some point in my life. You take it too far because then you're starting to consider it's like, okay, what is healthy? If you look at any meat, it's all vaccinated with what? How far do we go? What is healthy? And then you hear, like, okay, uh, and now this this guy is starting to try to do vaccination both with every cow in the world, like you know, and make them less fart. Bill Gates. Is that great? No, that's not great, that's not good. If we can stop it, great. But yeah, or try not to eat that part of meat. But yeah, most of the cows are vaccinated unless you have to really search for them, and it costs you a lot of money to get a piece of meat from like not vaccinated cow and no growth hormones and everything else. So you can go far with it, but it you also become a little bit more cynical in life, a little bit skeptical, a little bit less happy, because everything is uh is an enemy, everything becomes like uh a violent to the body. And your body can handle a lot. I mean, if you never eat like something a fried fruit food, then you're gonna feel that if you start eating fried food after never eating it, you're gonna be nauseous, you're gonna be in pain because your body's just not handled it well at that time. You never did it, right? You have people that eat raw meat. Okay, well, you cannot just start to do that because it makes you sick, you could probably die. Or you know, you have to eat into those things. Your body is very uh miraculous in my you have and maybe you have heard of it, but there's a was a tribe who also only ate rotten stuff with mold on it, and they they did well. But if we want to start to do that, we get sick. Yeah, if we're not careful, we die. It depends why you said it. We can do a lot, but you have to eat in it. So that's why I eat everything. So my body is always prepared and it can actually handle it. And sometimes people ask me, Do you drink alcohol? Yes, alcohol is not that bad, and there's a big trend right now against alcohol, and I get that. Yes, there are detrimental things to alcohol, but also to strawberries. So if you want to look into those things, great, but uh, I wouldn't think too much of it.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, there's hazards with strawberries.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, yeah, there's a lot of environmental stuff on it. Some of them say pesticides used a lot, herbicides used a lot. You're gonna eat them all. All the greens, the people say, like, oh, eat all the greens, salads, and everything. Well, look at what you eat. And there's also a chemical of the the plant that protects itself. I forgot the name for a second, but uh, it's a little bit of poison it gives you, and that's why it's also the reason that a lot of people cannot tolerate just eating salads. We say coleslaw and all those things. Because of that issue, because their stomach they get bloated because of that, that little poison that it uh expels. So it's not better than meat. I mean, it's a you can eat it, but it's also trying to poison you a little bit, you know. But your body deals with it and it's all okay if you can handle it. I'm not that good with the green, so you don't see me eat a salad very quickly. But I like French fries, it's not good. I like it though. You know, it's a little bit happy.

SPEAKER_02:

I I get what you mean, and even like you mentioned paying attention to our bodies, like everybody's body processes different foods differently, you know. I agree with you. Our bodies are meant to handle it and to process it, like food in general.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, yeah, and then if all of these people are like, what if you have milk intolerance? Well, yeah, maybe you should not drink milk, you know. I'm not saying you should drink milk. You're intolerant. Context.

SPEAKER_02:

No, that is that is completely true. Even like allergies, like certain people are allergic to certain foods, even if it's food, even if it's meat, even if it's yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

And it's hard to say, like, I know Jordan Peterson one time went to the all-meat diet, and for specific reasons, because you have a sickness going on, so you try to combat something, but it's not something that you want to live on, it's not something that you want to do for a couple of years just eating that. That's not great, it's not it's detrimental, you know. Then you ate very quickly, which is if you want to do that, but I think you try to avoid those things, so I wouldn't do that. So, but if you get stuck stuck in a diet, say whatever diet, Atkins diet, or whatever trends is is up. Yeah, if you want to do that, great. But I I never get really uh I get very easily bored with those things, and uh, it's also I don't know, it becomes an identity, you know. Talk to someone like how are you? Well, good, you're eating something. Well, I can't eat that, and this and like they become a vegetarian, like I am a vegetarian. Hold on, you're not a vegetarian, right? You can still eat meat. You have a choice here, you know. You're starting to identify with it. Well, you make a diet choice, yeah. And it's because and that's why I'm saying this, because I think it matters what you say. It matters, man. It matters what how you say things, so your thought already directs you. So if you say, I am a vegetarian, well, guess what you're gonna eat? Guess what you're not gonna eat, you know? Yeah, does it make you happier or better, stronger? That's always the question that you want to ask. What's the outcome of this? And I think if you go to life and you ask yourself, what's the outcome? What's the outcome of this choice eventually? I think you will come to a certain conclusion easier. And you also see the world is not that black and white. That economy thinking is yeah, is useful at best, probably in religion. Yeah, black and white thinking. I don't think it's very useful in diets and everything.

SPEAKER_02:

I've noticed as well about, I think even more so, whether somebody's a vegetarian or somebody's a vegan, that they really identify with that. Or even you've got like your gluten-free people. And like I did some traveling recently, and I met a few people that were gluten-free, and that was like the second thing they would tell me after they would tell me their name. And I'm just like, We're not even going to eat a meal together, so why are you telling me that you're gluten-free? Like, good for you, you know. It's a bad word.

SPEAKER_05:

A badge of honor.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, it's it almost becomes their identity, a part of their identity, and I'm not judging, but like it's pretty deep.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, well, we're all judging, maybe we're not open about it, but we will judge. Which is the thing. I mean, I do it too.

SPEAKER_02:

I mean, like, I don't care. You want to eat whatever you want to eat, but it was a little surprising to me that the second thing some of these people are telling me is about their diet choices and uh what they consume or what they don't consume. And I'm like, we're not even eating lunch together. Why do I need to know?

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, and that's what I'm getting at. To me, it's sometimes troublesome because that uh dictates a certain mindset, a very black and white mindset. It's very hard to work also with those people. The fun thing is they know what they want. That's great because you can instantly play into that. But in fact, if you start asking the local what is the outcome of this, and why? If you dick a little bit, there's a whole lot of different problems behind that. It's more in the psychology problems than they have a food problem, most of the times. What I've seen, what I experience. And I mean, I don't judge in a way, okay, there has a certain like an outcome from me, how I handle you. I think that's also what you mean. Of course, there's a certain judgment, like, okay, I I wouldn't do this, I don't think that's a great thing in the discernment in here. But yeah, I think it's beneficial if you say something back, like it's like, oh, you identify as vegan, you know? That's interesting. Tell me more.

SPEAKER_04:

That's true. Sorry. No, I'm I'm there that way.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, that you would offer a vegetarian sausage.

SPEAKER_05:

Just I don't know if if the situation asks for it. Yeah, a little bit contradiction, you know. Uh, I mean, how can you get someone to think differently? You have to maybe push a little bit and use a little bit of a humor and maybe have a different kind of humor. But yeah, how do you that's why obviously the king had a uh the role of the joker, because you know, otherwise you become too serious about yourself, and you don't need that, nobody needs that. So if someone can make a little bit of fun about you, it's just great. You know, you should if you take that well, then you you're in good company.

SPEAKER_02:

Life is long, but life is also short to be so serious all the time.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, and you have your moments to be serious, of course. And uh everybody uh seems to know that feature. But if you decide to identify with food choices, you know, maybe something that's more deeper going on. In if you go into the CrossFit world on athletes, they have a goal, and they seem to be different than, let's say, a fitness person who really goes all in on the fitness because they have to achieve something because they have a certain image they are working towards. So the self-images may be a little bit corrupted, and yeah, they can go very far in that. The self-image contains like the strong health and limiting beliefs, and your mindset is there, and also your moral code. So most of the time, in your self-image, there's also if you are religious, the religion part is connected there between the beliefs and the moral code. That's your religion connection, and it's a very strong indicator for black and white thinking. So if the self-image is more on the black and white thinking, and you have something to prove, then you most of the time you go very far in certain choices that you make. And I've seen those girls, they look great in the body, great. You know, you have eight apps, it's awesome. And somewhat for some people, uh, how do you say that? Not impressing, but more than that, like you get scared of them. But it's like, oh, you're really doing great. To what effect? What is the end goal here? What's the outcome? Where do you want to go? Who do you want to be when you're 70 years old? Like you live your life in a very tight stress. I mean, like this is what you eat, this is how much protein you take, because you probably know the answer to this, you know, one gram per one kilogram of body composition, those things they can tell you. They know all about it, and which is not bad, you know. You need those people, but they always want to leave a little bit of room of the things that you don't know. I I came to an understanding that I don't know anything. And even I think I do know certain things, it's always something that proves me wrong. It's like always, oh yeah, okay. Dang it. Going back to the drawing table, which is great, but it makes you better, you know, it makes you more around and uh you can uh talk a bit, you have something to talk about. So yeah, you don't want to be that one track I say racehorse, can only do one thing. I gotcha.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

So Amanda, if you have some people that need some help in this segment, send them to me.

SPEAKER_02:

No, I want to transition it, Chad. I'm curious, what has helped you be able to confront yourself inside your comfort zone?

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, well, you know, I'm not my comfort zone lays in the knowledge that I hold and understanding. So and if yeah, I'm gonna be tested on my knowledge, it's starting to quiver a little bit. Now I know it's like well, even experts are very limited in what they know, and also they are wrong in most cases, because if you look at the theories, there's always like an opposing theory. So you can find yourself in one camp, but it's also another camp that says complete opposite, you know. And you see that a lot. So even experts, you know, you have to question things that we know, and this is okay because we all want to move forward and do better for each other. I think that's what we want to do. You want to do better for yourself, and in the meantime, you pull up other people, and that is all uh that's more my goal now to pull up others and where I am. They ask me, Hey, you're 45 years old, you look like this, and you do this. Okay, I want some more of that. Okay, this is the way for me, you know, my body, and now we have to look at yours, and then you can plan something. So if I'm in my comfort zone, I know what I am, what not know what I'm doing, and I'm trying different things, then instantly I'm out of my comfort zone because I know I have to, I want to be good at it and what I do. Who doesn't? No, I want to at least be above average. No need to be the best. I don't always shooting for be the best, but above average. So if that's my standard, and if I don't qualify for that standard, that puts me into certain uh stress mode.

SPEAKER_02:

How do you make sure that you're above average?

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, you get science from the outside world. So if you think you are wrestling with things and you fall in it, and then people give you feedback, this is where you start to understand where you fit. So if you play sports, if you play soccer and someone says, like, we need you, we help you, you're pretty good. And then you understand eventually your position. But most of the time you understand your position because of others, so your environment. And if you don't expose yourself to the environment, you never really know. It's more of a daydream of where you find yourself. Be in the environment, I guess. That's why I'm talking with you.

SPEAKER_02:

Wait, why is that what you're talking to me?

SPEAKER_05:

Well, you know, it's yeah, it's all that's why I said in the beginning, you can ask me anything, you know. I want to be able to answer questions, and even if it gets more difficult, I don't want to be like, oh, yeah, I'm not gonna tell you it is. You know? That's the real purpose of that. Yeah. I'm out in the environment, you can test mine thought. So yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

I get what you mean. Be in the environment.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah. That's how you test yourself and how you define yourself and get defined.

SPEAKER_02:

How you define yourself and how you get defined.

SPEAKER_05:

There's two processes going on because you have the self-conception, that's you really knowing who you are, and then the self-definition. It's how you define yourself towards someone else. Like I defining me in a certain way towards Samanda, because I want you to like me. I want you to think, oh, he knows what he's talking about. Define myself in a certain way. So that's a little bit different, and then you define me, and then it's there's a truth to it, and that's more important. Otherwise, I live in my own self definition and in my own truth. I can be God, you know.

SPEAKER_02:

That's true. Now, have you always realized the difference between self-conception and self-definition? How'd you discover that?

SPEAKER_05:

I was two years old. No. In fact, no, it was a very long, long road. A lot of I I wrote a book, you know. And when you write a book, I did like six years of research and two years of writing, well, also researching. So it was like an eight-year period. And the moment that you start to write about things, you have to define things. And when you start to put definitions to words, then you understand them. And you can also classify them and take them apart better. So that's why I have a psychological model that I've created because I took it all apart. My plan was I want to do like 100 years of psychology and I want to put it on one paper, A4, we call it half each year in Dutch. So and that was the goal. And yeah, I made something out of that. That's what I work with.

SPEAKER_02:

Can you tell us a little bit about this model?

SPEAKER_05:

Yes. It's great. The book is called To Meet Yourself, Think For Yourself. And the model is about all the processes. And basically, if you look, it consists a lot of everything that you are, and within that, there's a lot of biases going on. So always understand that you are biased. And that's the main focus of my model. It's like whatever you do, whatever you think you are, or say how define yourself, or the concepts of you is always biased. Because it has to go through processes, it has to go to the five senses. It has to go to the intellectual faculties that you hold on to. It also has to go through the identity that you have, the personality, your character, and the traits that you hold on to. So all those processes that make any information that comes in biased. So that's the main thing of my model. And that's instantly the gray area. That's why it's never black and white. That's why I like the Tao Te Ching. Tao Te Ching, there's the maybe you're not familiar with it, maybe you are. I've heard of it, but yeah, that's like if you take the Bible and you open it up and you read it through, and then people start to like, oh, that's not true. This is it, this is not it, and then you have factions, and then they break apart, and it's Methodist, and you have Jehovah's and everything else, you know. Because they don't seem to agree with each other, because they think they hold the truth. And when you become righteous, well, it becomes very difficult. So in the Tao, they start to say, like he says a little bit different, but let's say I just translate it a little bit freely. Like, if you think you know it, then you don't. You know, if you start a Bible like that, if you think you know it, then you don't. Well, that's a great start. That's a great start of any book. So that's more it, I think, in my model. If you're starting to point at things like this how it is, well, that's biased, you know. So there's only a model to see like what leads to what and what is connected to what. So I can if I have a problem with my self-conception, where does this come from? Where does this stem from? Now, in my model, I can point it like oh, it stems from there. So, and this is what I can do against that. So that's what I'm that's why it's easy for me to help someone lose weight, because as I said, it's 80% of psychology. And again, if you have an answer for psychology, then it becomes instantly easier.

SPEAKER_02:

I really like how you mentioned we're all biased in some way.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, like even if it's like looking at you, it's like, oh, pretty lady, well, pretty girl, you know. I'm biased. It's too whatever I see, you know, what I find pretty. So you have to understand, like, if you have a fatuation, it's very biased. So is it real? For you, not for your neighbor, you know. Yeah, yeah. So if you have your understanding of that, it makes it a little bit you become less serious about yourself in certain ways too. So it helps with that.

SPEAKER_02:

Now, I'm curious, you said it took about eight years for the whole book process. In terms of your backpacking adventure, your trip to China, like did you write how long after? Oh, did you write the book after?

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, I wrote the book, uh, wrote a book after.

SPEAKER_02:

About how long after that trip did you write the book?

SPEAKER_05:

Well, it came out last year. So, and it was eight years in the making. So around 2016, I did all the research, starting with it.

SPEAKER_02:

So, like 15 years after?

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Have you always thought you were gonna write a book? No, no, that's just something I always ask uh people who have written a book on the show, because I'm just personally curious. So you didn't always know you were gonna write a book.

SPEAKER_05:

No, not even when I was busy with the research. I wanted to make a model for myself, and when I started to talk about it, it's like someone says, You have to put it down, like write it down. All things, yeah, all the little wisdoms, write it down. I said, Well, yeah, I wrote some things down, you know, and then eventually I started like, okay, maybe something, and I decided to make a storyline out of it. So it's not like a conventional personal health book, it's a storyline, and it's in that character, I am kind of the character. So I try to stay close with my knowledge, you know. I can make it totally fictional, but it's not. So the most of the things that in the book, it's what I've experienced, and it's just a talk with an old sifu, like an old Chinese Sifu. Well, I've met a Sifu, you know. So it is based on certain things that are true, and you just like there are questions in like, uh, what's the meaning of life? And then the old sifu uh answers in his capability of what is the meaning, and they try to come to a certain idea of it, and there's more questions in those things. And I got some good food feedback of it, it's well rated at the moment, so I'm very glad with that. So they like the story and what's in there, but it was more for helping myself out.

SPEAKER_02:

I love that process. So even in the midst of the research, it wasn't you were researching because you knew you were gonna write this book. Wow, that is that's so fascinating to me. I love that, just the way that that panned out because somebody said to you, you gotta write this down, right?

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Was it somebody close to you that said that, or was it just somebody you were an acquaintance? You don't have to tell me who, but I'm just curious.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, there was someone that I was close to one in the family, but also there was uh two people that I worked with. I said, like, man, yeah, you need to write these things down. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh I love how that came full circle for you.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, me too. And it was uh it was great to do it in English. It's not my first language.

SPEAKER_02:

Was it that a little bit of an extra challenge for you?

SPEAKER_05:

I wouldn't say it like no, no, you know how it is. If you are I lived 36 years in the Netherlands and then eventually like a 45 now, and you start to think in English. You don't know all the words yet, but you can find them off. It's like, okay, this is what it meant in Dutch. So, what will this equivalent be in English? So you can find all those things out. It slows down a little bit the process, but overall, you start thinking English, so you write in English. The grammar is not the best though. You need an editor, anyhow, any writer does, so yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

I agree with that. I love that though. I want to transition it, Chad. You told me this Dutch saying, and I'd love if you could elaborate on this. I don't know if you remember what you put, but it says when it gets difficult, we need someone that can deliver a precise kick in the butt. Soft healers make stinking wounds.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, the Dutch saying, yeah. That's in the Dutch saying, that's how you say it. But yeah, that's what it is. If you uh if you come to a specialist and they don't treat you fully on certain things or not like how you expected it, then it most of the times it can do more damage. So kicking the butt in a way of like, we know we both know you need to go in this direction. Hey, come on, let's go. That type of deal. And why is that because I don't know exactly, but I tell you a little bit about myself in that way. I don't have that much empathy. I I feel compared in relative perspective, because if I look at my wife, you know, if I hit my thumb, she can feel her thumb like in pain, kind of empathy. And I I don't have that. So I can relate to certain pain, but I cannot feel it or replicate anything like that. So if I see someone struggling, I do it how I do it to myself. Now I'm a little bit brutal to myself, I don't suggest I be doing that, but just we run a every year we do a uh like a Spider-Con rest, like it's it's called the Asco Spider. And it's with obstacles, you have to run. And uh yeah, when I run that, I I'm like, come on, you, you know, and then a certain words come out, but push yourself, you know, don't don't stop. Other people running, come on. That's it goes on in my brain, and that's a little bit how I'm outwards to people close to me. So the more closer you are to me, the more you got the treatment that I treat myself with. It's not always that pretty, but it's uh in times effective. Now you have to know when to pump the brakes. Like during my experience over time, I understand more how to pump the brakes and to adjust it to where they can step in and still feel okay about themselves. Because you don't want to kick too much in the butt when it's not needed or it has not the right effect on it. So I'm saying only this a lot of people need a kick in the butt. I do think that. Instead of holding hands, you can do it, you're my hero. Well, results also matters, you know. It's the doing, that is where it lies. There's the enlightenment, it's in the doing. Um, yeah, I try to pull people in the doing. And it's not always easy. I understand that everybody struggles with this, it's not only me, you know. But if you have a coach, you at least expect them to hold you by your hand and pull you in that direction, you know. And sometimes a little bit pushing in the back, and you can do this. Depends what people need.

SPEAKER_02:

I get that.

SPEAKER_05:

He loves one thing though, guys. Maybe it's different, but it's my experience. But guys, they do well with a little bit of pushing, like holding hands. And some girls they need a little bit of more of a brassive, like, come on, you can do it. You know, what are you doing? You can do more. No, and some girls like they do very good. It's remarkable. It's like I always thought it was different, but most of the guys they do it already to themselves, they don't need someone else, like me, doing the same thing.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm curious, uh, your thoughts on emotions. Well, you put in some ways they're overrated.

SPEAKER_05:

Yes, emotions are overrated. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

I do think so.

SPEAKER_05:

Well, uh, emotion is a reactionary system, and it tells you when you need to be doing something, like when you're in danger. Most of the time you're not in danger. So if you have emotions going, you go in anxiety. Anxiety is a low grade of fear, and if you keep that going for a while, well, it goes very bad for your body and your mind. So emotion is not, I think, helpful in that way. So there's a line. So from beliefs, you get thoughts in your mind. So you form thoughts in your mind, and then you put words to it, right? So thoughts, words, and then you can stop it there, just that, or it can go into certain feelings with certain thoughts you have. And if you have more feelings, you can go into an emotion. Nothing wrong with it. There's nothing wrong with crying and feeling sad and everything else, but you cannot linger in it, you cannot stay in that. And also, you have sometimes an emotion that comes up, like you cannot do anything about it, it just pops up. Now, it goes into a feeling because the feeling part is like you have to put words to it, so it's connected to that emotion. And if you cannot connect it yet, then it's just an acting out of an emotion, it's a reaction to something. Now, when you have connected words to it, it goes into more of a feeling, and with feeling, you find the right words, and with the right words, you can a little bit steer the thoughts that you have, right? So with it between the thoughts and the words, and the feelings and emotions on one side, you have the care line. So that depends like how well you are doing. So if you care about certain emotions or not, so that determines how long you want to be staying in there and to hold on to certain things. Now, emotions they do something to the body. So emotions is different than feeling in a way of like they trigger something in the body, trigger an immune system, or your fight-a-flight situation, adrenaline keeps pumping. You know, it does something to you. So you cannot stay in that for a long time. It's just not good. The cortisol levels go up, and for what reason, you know, you don't need that too much in your life. You're already doing that too much to yourself anyway. So talking with feelings is good if you're not emotional about it, because then it you cannot control it anymore. You're just reactive, you're not responding anymore, and that's the difference. So, yeah. If someone is full and emotional, you cannot do anything about it either. You know, you leave it alone a little bit, give them some time to regroup. You're not saying, like, hey, handle yourself, that that's not helpful because they're already in the emotion and they try to find their way back, and sometimes you can help them a little bit with it. But yes, like if you've I've seen that maybe it's very bad to say this, I don't know. But if you make, let's say you're black, and if someone says like something bad about being black, you feel instantly emotional about it, it's not helpful. You know, it says everything about you, your identity, or where you identify with, and what it does to you. It should not do anything about you, what someone else is saying in the first place, because who's he or she? Doesn't matter, you know. If you take it so personally, well, you have to look at your at yourself at some point, like where does this go wrong? Is this a good way of living? You know, being emotional about this. Is this what I want? Is this a good outcome? And I feel now hatred, or I want to slap someone, or I want to fight for some rights. I already have these rights, okay. Well, what would I fight for then? Oh, I was hurt, okay. You know, the little bit of uh that's that's what I feel like in some ways it's overrated. Doesn't matter. You can compare them. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

What about like more positive emotion? So even like joyful or uh happy, would you consider that an emotion as well?

SPEAKER_05:

Of course, that's also emotion. You want to always stay in a blissful state.

SPEAKER_02:

Do you consider those emotions overrated?

SPEAKER_05:

Well, you know what I said in the beginning. If you live in high highs, you'll probably have low lows. That goes most of the time goes hand in hand. So if you're a person of very high highs, then brace yourself. I like stable stability, and that's why I have a wife who's very stable, you know, not going roller coaster all over the place. I cannot handle it. Makes me crazy. You know, I don't know what it should be doing then. But uh, if you have very high highs, yeah, joy, joy is great, happiness is great, happiness is just a byproduct, and you you have that over time, and it's not like a very high state of emotion. Joy can be, you know, laughter comes from it. That's all great. But uh, have you ever tried laughing for 30 minutes? No, it's like how far how long can you go? So it's moderation, it's like the the balance if you do it too long time, it's like, yeah, it's what everything. Yeah, but that's me. I don't say right or wrong, this is my view. And I'm very biased, remember?

SPEAKER_02:

No, I get it. I was just curious on what you meant, how they're overrated.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

That makes sense about wanting it to be more balanced. Because even like you said, if you have such high highs, the lows are probably pretty low.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, yeah, that sucks. You all know these people like what's the weather? It's raining. Oh, it's raining again, and then yesterday it rained too. Man, what's funny? It stopped raining. I have to wear a poncho to go to work, you know. Everything is it's dark and I know. It goes a certain way, you know, those people, and it's like it doesn't matter, you know. Yeah, we all live in it. It's all raining for us all in this little neighborhood, you know. Doesn't matter if you have an emotion about it, it's helpful. So, what's the outcome? Again, what's the outcome of this? Well, I asked myself, so I hope other people can ask themselves that same thing, and maybe that it's helpful, it's helpful for me.

SPEAKER_02:

I like that. Is it helpful?

SPEAKER_05:

Does it work towards the outcome that I want?

SPEAKER_02:

Does it work towards the outcome that I want? Yeah, I really like that. Well, thank you so much.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, no worries.

SPEAKER_02:

Have you heard of a man named Jay Shetty? Oh, Jay Shetty? Yeah, it's fine that you haven't. He's an author, he's got a podcast called On Purpose, and he ends the podcast with two segments, and I've stolen those two segments, so I give him a little bit of credit. I think that's the legal way to protect myself and to do this by mentioning him. It's not a problem that you haven't heard of him because the question's more about you, but I just give him a little bit of credit because these are not my questions, and I completely took them from him. But he's got two segments that he ends his podcast with. First one is called The Many Sides to Us, and there's five questions, and they need to be answered in one word each.

unknown:

Okay.

SPEAKER_04:

One word, what do you say? One word each?

SPEAKER_03:

Yes, you can do it.

SPEAKER_04:

Is this a kick in the button or is this the hell for man?

SPEAKER_03:

Depends on how you take it. What is one word?

SPEAKER_02:

Serious? What is one word someone who knows you extremely well would use to describe you as?

SPEAKER_05:

Not so serious? Oh, not serious. Oh two words. One word. Okay, maybe oh yeah. I am I I've heard this before. Focused.

SPEAKER_02:

What is one word you'd use to describe yourself? What is one word that if someone didn't like you or agree with your mindset would use to describe you as that doesn't agree with me? Yeah, somebody that doesn't agree with you.

SPEAKER_05:

In what word? Yeah, I have some words, but it's all kind of uh uh rough words. I don't think I can use this on the show.

SPEAKER_03:

Whatever comes to mind.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, and it's also Dutch. We say chump. What does chump mean? Well, it can mean a couple of things in a funny way, it's like, man, he knows what he's doing, he's great, what a dickhead, kind of thing. And the other's like, yeah, he doesn't know how to dress himself and like jump. In a more bad way.

SPEAKER_02:

What is one word you're trying to embody right now?

SPEAKER_05:

Outcome.

SPEAKER_02:

Second segment of the final five, and these can be answered in a sentence.

SPEAKER_05:

Okay. Pressure is off.

SPEAKER_02:

What is the best advice you've heard or received?

SPEAKER_05:

There's a couple of them. One is because we talked just about it, so it pops in my brain.

SPEAKER_02:

Why is that the best?

SPEAKER_05:

Because life is not that serious.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay. What is the worst advice you've heard or received?

SPEAKER_05:

That's from my father. He said a dime never becomes a quarter. Why is that the worst? It's more saying like don't get too full of yourself. Or in this way, if you are poor, you never become anything else. That's what it resembles to me. So that was the worst advice. Created some limiting beliefs.

SPEAKER_02:

What is something that you used to value that you no longer value?

SPEAKER_05:

I still do that. But I I don't cling too much on it, but a certain integrity. I value that a lot. Yeah, you cannot always have it, so I leave that a little bit loose. If I'm not demanding it. But used to demand that from other people.

SPEAKER_02:

If you could describe what you would want your legacy to be, as if someone was reading it, what would you want it to say?

SPEAKER_05:

Well, my legacy. He tried his best, he came up with some great ideas, and then he died.

SPEAKER_02:

If you could create one law in the world that everyone had to follow, what would it be?

SPEAKER_05:

One law in the world is like no black and white thinking. Truth exists between two people, and everything beyond that is getting lost. It doesn't reside in yourself. So black and white thinking is not helpful in any way because always there's a compromise, there's always a bias that is carried on. So yeah, no black and white thinking.

SPEAKER_02:

Why would that be one law?

SPEAKER_05:

You know, because you see that now with uh wars and religions involved about black and white thinking, this is the truth, you know, this is the messiah, no, this isn't the great God, he's the ruler, whatnot. I mean, they're fighting for it, they die for it. You have the holy war, all things not necessary. I mean, same with the Taoist. You've never seen like a Taoist fighting for their belief system, because I don't think you can call it religion. So, same as in Hinduism, it's a way of life. I think uh it's a much better outcome for humanity.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, thank you so much for speaking with me.

SPEAKER_05:

You're welcome. It was very nice to be with you, Amanda. You asked nice questions.

SPEAKER_02:

Thank you. No, I do just like to give it back to the guests, no pressure, but any final words you want to leave the listeners with?

SPEAKER_05:

No, the final words uh I'm setting I will probably uh put it together. But if you stay away from black and white thinking, you understand you're biased, you're not taking yourself that seriously. And then you try to work on an outcome that you want and you put your mind to it. So you lay it up with I am this person, I am already rich, look at what I have, I am already healthy, look at what I'm doing, then you go into the direction.

SPEAKER_02:

I like that. Thank you so much, Christian. I appreciate it. And thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of Vander's Mindset.

SPEAKER_01:

In case no one told you today, I'm proud of you. I'm booting for you, and you got this. As always, if you enjoyed the show, I would really appreciate it if you would leave me a five star rating, leave a review, and share it with anyone you think would benefit from that. And don't forget, you are only one nine step shift away from shifting your life. Thanks guys, until next time.

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