Manders Mindset

You Can’t Mindset Your Way Through Everything | Nat Nat Bedard |171

• Amanda Russo

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What if the patterns you’ve been trying to “fix” the over giving, the overthinking, the holding on too tightly, were never flaws at all, but intelligent survival strategies shaped by the nervous system itself?

In this powerful episode of Manders Mindset, host Amanda Russo sits down with emotional healing specialist and Lift Oneself founder Natalie “NatNat” Bedard for a grounded and deeply revealing conversation about trauma, embodiment, nervous system safety, and the hidden motivations behind the choices we make. From surviving childhood trauma and life-threatening brain lesions to rediscovering her own emotional and somatic truth, Natalie shares how she returned home to herself and how listeners can begin doing the same.

Together, Amanda and Natalie explore why mindset work alone can’t carry you through every challenge, how the body stores what the mind tries to outrun, and why overgiving or “proving a point” often stems from fear rather than empowerment. The two also share an unplanned breakthrough moment as Natalie gently reflects a long-standing survival pattern Amanda didn’t realize she was still holding. It’s raw, honest, and deeply human.

This episode also marks a meaningful seasonal pause: Amanda announces that Manders Mindset will be taking the month of December off to rest, reset, and integrate after a transformative year, a reminder that pausing is powerful and allowed.

💡 In this episode, listeners will discover:

🧠 Why the nervous system operates to protect, not sabotage
 💔 How early trauma and emotional neglect shape identity, resilience, and coping
 🧬 Natalie’s near-death health crisis and how somatic work became her lifeline
 🌀 Why you can’t “mindset” your way through everything and where the body takes the lead
 💸 The connection between overgiving, self-worth, and fear of abundance
 💃 Regulation tools like dancing, humming, breathing, and sensory shifts
 🪞 A new way to understand shame, forgiveness, and emotional data
 📖 Why rewriting your story around relationships, purpose, and identity...is both valid and necessary
 🕊️ And why Amanda is modeling the importance of rest by pausing new episodes in December

⏰ Timeline Summary

[2:15] Natalie opens with a grounding mindful moment to drop listeners into presence
 [4:58] Amanda recounts how the podcast began and how breathwork unlocked her voice
 [7:37] Exploring fear, abundance, and the deeper wounds 
 [10:33] Why mindset alone isn’t enough, the nervous system’s role in real transformation
 [19:15] Natalie shares who she is at her core: compassion, pain, and embodied presence
 [20:50] Her childhood story: nature, trauma, emotional absence, and early motherhood
 [27:12] How meditation and somatic work helped her release stored trauma
 [31:17] Why dancing, humming, and movement can shift emotional states instantly
 [39:20] Shame, forgiveness, emotional honesty, and understanding the body’s signals
 [45:22] Marriage, societal pressure, and redefining partnership on your own terms
 [58:05] A real-time breakthrough as Natalie highlights one of Amanda’s survival patterns
 [1:02:00] Amanda feels the shift as she realizes what she was never meant to carry
 [1:11:11] Final reminders about following the body’s wisdom

To Connect with Amanda:

Schedule a 1:1 Virtual Breathwork Session HERE

📸 Instagram: @thebreathinggoddess

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📱Instagram: @MandersMindset

SPEAKER_00:

Welcome to the Manders and Mindset Podcast, where you'll find both monologue and interviews of entrepreneurs, coaches, healers, and a variety of other people, where your host Amanda Roosevelt will discuss her own mindset and perspective, and her guest mindset and perspective on the world around us. Manders and her guests will help explain to you how shifting your mindset will shift your life.

SPEAKER_02:

Welcome back to Manders Mindset, where we explore the power of shifting your mindset to shift your life. I'm your host, Amanda Risa. And today's guest has already joined me on Breath of Magic. So we have a little bit of a connection already, which you will likely pick up on. Today's guest is Natalie Bedard, lovingly known as NatNat. She's an emotional healing specialist, novice system guide, and the founder of Lift Oneself. As the host of the Lift Oneself podcast, Nat brings raw, grounded conversations that help us feel what we've been taught to suppress. And trust me, guys, you will understand that as we delve in, that it is so true. Through her trauma-informed work, she guides people back to emotional sobriety, regulating the nervous system, releasing stored pain, and returning home to self, a resilient mother and survivor of life-threatening illness. And we are so excited to dive into this conversation with you guys. Thank you so much for joining me.

SPEAKER_04:

Thank you so much for that beautiful introduction. I'm really honored to share this space with your listeners and have this conversation. The last time we had the conversation, we went deep. And I'm looking forward to even diving deeper. And, you know, synergetically, we just are able to be free and open in our conversation. So I think at least one listener will benefit from our conversation and find some practical tools that they can use in their own personal life.

SPEAKER_02:

That is so true. I'm so excited to dive in with you. I would love if you could lead us through a mindful moment. Can we start with that?

SPEAKER_04:

I'd be honored. For the listeners, many are listening to this, needing their visual. So when I ask Amanda and myself to close our eyes safety first, please keep them open. Yet the other prompts you're able to follow. So Amanda allows you to get comfortable in your seating. If it's safe to do so, you're going to gently close your eyes. And you're going to begin breathing in and out through your nose. And you're going to bring your awareness to watching your breath go in and out. You're not going to try and control it. You're just going to let it guide you into your body and observing the rhythm of it. There may be some sensations or feelings coming up. And that's okay. Let them come up. You're safe to feel. You're safe to let go. Surrender the need to control. Release the need to resist and just be with your breath. Dive deeper into your body. Now there may be some thoughts or to-do lists that have popped up in the mind. And that's okay. Gently bring your awareness back to your breath. Creating space between the awareness and the thoughts. And dropping deeper into the body.

SPEAKER_03:

Being in the space of the present. As a being. Again, more thoughts probably popped up. Gently bring your awareness back to your breath.

SPEAKER_04:

Beginning again. Creating even more space between the awareness and the thoughts. And completely surrendering into the body. Being in that space of being. Space of present. Still keeping that awareness on watching the rhythm of your breath. Again, more feelings or sensations may have come up. You're okay. You're safe. Just letting them pass through. Now coming into your senses, into your body completely, into this moment. I'm gonna gently open your eyes while staying with your breath. How's your heart doing? Much more relaxed, much more calm. I want to ask you what got you starting to create this podcast?

SPEAKER_02:

I went and got certified in breath rogue detox, and I'm a big talker. Like I have a lot to say. And even there, I always had a comment. Like I would raise my hand and be like, this is why what CODIS is saying makes sense. This is why you should listen to the and even at one point he was like, Thank you for the input, Manders. And by the end of it, he was like, You should start a podcast. And I respected him so much that some of the people that also got certified were like, I'm so glad he didn't say something like crazier because I would have did it. He could have said, Manders, you should move to Italy. And I would have been like, Okay, I'm gonna move to Italy, even if it made no sense whatsoever. A month after I got certified, I launched the podcast because I was that determined.

SPEAKER_04:

Nice. And how has that journey been for you?

SPEAKER_02:

Great. Like it's opened up a lot of doors. I've met amazing people like yourself. I've connected with so many people, from breath work people to mindfulness people, mindset people. Like it's opened up my world in so many ways. And even to find my voice, my throat chakra has opened up even more so because I was comfortable there to use my throat chakra. But now it doesn't matter where I am, I don't mind saying anything.

SPEAKER_04:

Great. A lot of times people don't realize podcasting is the thing that people need it, so they're bringing it forth to others. And just like you, I have many guests, so I'm able to indulge in doing my own sessions and learning more about myself and being more inquisitive. And recently I've had it that anybody that offers anything that we do it live on the podcast. So I just did a Kashik records reading just before we started recording live. I've had hypnotherapy done because a lot of people offer their services, yet people don't get a sneak peek of what does that look like? Are they just selling something, but they don't really have the skill or the gift? And so I really wanted to bring trust to my listeners. And if somebody's coming on, that they could see what it was with myself and if it resonated with them, that they're not just buying something just because you know somebody said something, that I could build a little bit more trust to see what that looked like and help that other person also be marketable so that if you're talking the talk, that you can walk it and that word of mouth is much more valuable than any kind of other marketing that you can put out there.

SPEAKER_02:

I love how you mentioned about building trust. I haven't ever had anybody do anything live. Honestly, I just haven't thought of it. But I think that's so key in terms of building trust, building the rapport. I facilitate breathroom, as I mentioned, and all my virtual sessions that I'm offering for groups right now, I offer as a pay what you can type session so that people recognize that there's value in it because it's not quote unquote free, but it's accessible to basically anybody. You can do it anywhere in the world. It's not about the money, it's about getting this modality that I strongly believe in to people that want it and think they could benefit from it. I have a question though for you.

SPEAKER_04:

Okay. Is there a fear of accepting abundance and currency?

SPEAKER_02:

I don't think that's what it is, honestly, because the first ever time I attended a session, it was a pay what you can session. I was unemployed at the time and I didn't have a lot of money, to be honest with you. I wasn't facilitating, I wasn't running my own business. So I paid$15 because that's basically what I had. And honestly, it's like my way of still giving back to the community. I do it once a month. And it's one of those that, like, if you are curious to see like what this breath rope detox is that the breathing goddess doesn't shut up about, here, you can try it. And I'm not like overly in your face, but you know what? If you're ready for it, let's give it a shot.

SPEAKER_03:

Great.

SPEAKER_04:

And I just asked because sometimes we don't know our intention or we don't really bring forth what our fears are. Because a lot of people say that they want success, but they don't realize there's a fear with success. Hey, I'm navigating through it right now of going through another layer and having to face the fear and call it out. There's a lot of things that we want, yet if we're not able to vocalize what the fear is, we don't really see what the blockage is. We tend to mindset our way through something rather than integrate and deactivate something. I'm not able to override the nervous system, like it's a big beast. So it's learning how to work with it and always understanding, okay, I have this blockage. It's darn annoying. Why? And I know better. Yet, how can I meet this nervous system and ask it, what are you trying to protect me from? And fear is healthy. We get fear and stress get such a bad rap, and it's no, there's healthy fear and healthy stress. It's the psychosomatic that we create in our mind that's creating too much cortisol. That's the part that is doing damage. Yet to have no stress and no fear, there's no such thing. Your nervous system needs that to be able to use your intuition and read this world is unsafe in a lot of different ways, but not in the beliefs that you've created of hiding your identity and being stuck in your ego.

SPEAKER_02:

I love how you said you can't mindset your way through everything. There's few and a lot of things. And I had to take a step back actually, because I was doing these weekly, every single week. I was initially doing these virtual pay what you can, and I was locking abundance by doing that too frequently. And like I did have the mindset of I do want this to be accessible if somebody is ready to try it, but finances are a block for them because they were for me. When I have a personal attachment, and I will openly admit it's a personal attachment to it, because that's how I got started, you know, and I still want to have that, even if it's a once-a-month thing that people can do virtually anywhere in the world, like it's only an hour of my time. That to me, it fills my soul, you know, like it's not. But when I was doing it every single week, it was, and I had somebody say to me, why is it less valuable if you're doing it virtually versus in person? They don't have your human touch, but that's the only thing.

SPEAKER_04:

And that's where we can see where our wounds are taking, you know, charge, where that nervous system feels that there's unsafety. So if I'm giving to people and, you know, giving back how I received it, it gives a sense of soothing and safety. It gives a sense of I'm a good person. It gives a sense of, oh, I'm helping others. And that's one of our biggest reward systems. Yet what could happen is it goes to the extreme where we're not recognizing, oh, wait, we don't have to over-indulge in trying to be so good, trying to prove that we're appreciative of where we came from and we want to give back to the people. It's like you got to take care of yourself also. And if you were to just overgive everything, how is the other person supposed to learn in things? So good on you that you acknowledge that you were depleting yourself. And impulsively a beast of a thing. What can be a beast of a thing? Impulsive me. I can just do it, I can do it all, and I can help this and I can help that, and let me just keep going until one minute is wait. This is an it's an energy that keeps going, and many of us haven't been taught to interrupt it and ask a question what is the actual intention that you're doing this? Is there other ways that could be more of ease? Can you be carried rather than trying to support and run places?

SPEAKER_02:

Is there other ways that can be done? That makes a lot of sense. Is there a way that you can still provide this in the pay what you can option, but not every single week? Because then I was finding myself, oh, you can't record a podcast on Monday because every Monday I have this pay what you can session. And I was almost done looking forward to it because it was too frequent.

SPEAKER_04:

We're set up for rewards. That's just how our and you try to remove it as much as you can, yet it's still ingrained in our programming. So after a while, your inner life force knows that you are overcompensating. And when you're not looking forward to it, it's a signal of you're putting your energy too much into something that isn't needed. So, you know, where is the value? If we overgive something, is there really value in that? Will people really show the appreciation? Are you appreciating yourself by being accessible to everybody all the time? When is self getting your own attention? Some deep questions. And taking accountability of our time, of our energy. But we're lured into hustle, be there for service for everybody, deplete yourself, be productive all the time. They know how to get the nervous system activated, even in these healing circles, just go. And it's but that's not the talk, they're not walking the talk that you're giving. So, how does that make sense? Like, how is it okay for you? And everybody's biology is different. Some can do this, some can go on, yet I would ask, you know, is there ease? Is there peace? Are you supported in other ways? Or is there still just grasping on the outside? Are you complete and whole with a W on the inside? Or by doing these, you know, pay as you go and being accessible all the time, is it fe trying to fill a hole with an H? But after when you start to do that and feeling really great, like any sugary candy, there's a real good, quick high. But afterwards, there's a crash and it's oh, this isn't actually nutrition. It's not giving me sustenance because I'm not actually being honest to myself. And that energy is transferable to other people. It's difficult to ask these profound questions when we're always taught that you're not getting enough money, you're not getting enough exposure. Look at all the people that could get it. Those people are suffering, all these kinds of things where it's like, what are you taking care of you so that you can bring out clean energy to others?

SPEAKER_02:

That you hit the nail on the head, NatNat, with so much. You really hit the nail on the head. You know, I've had to have that difficult conversation with myself, even outside of the pay what you can, like even now as I have established my business a decent amount more, I'm also running into yoga studios that aren't in alignment with me for different reasons and having to have that difficult conversation about I can't offer a group ref session here. Because whether I tell them why or I don't, just certain things aren't in alignment with me. Not all money is good money.

SPEAKER_04:

I've had to use that statement with myself. And you've got to take everything on the table and don't miss out on opportunities. Yet if you're going by intention and energy, not everything's gonna align with where you're going. And you have to be able to support that. I'm spiritual in the sense of I know there's a higher power guiding me, and I know I'm simply a vessel that's being guided. So some things that just feel off an alignment, it's like now, before, yeah, be available for everything because I don't want to miss out on the opportunity because who knows where my possibilities are, where it's no, stop making yourself available and stop contorting yourself to be somewhere to maybe possibly in my mind convince somebody of my worth and what I can offer where it's no, that's depleting you. You might have some slow seasons, yet does it mean that you're not supported? And that takes faith. Like people use faith as a genie, not give me the capacity to ride through the waves. Just make life better for me and make it not sting. And that's not real life. It's like, where's the capacity to be able to ride these waves? Where's the capacity to have my resilience? Trust me, I have like I was just saying previously in my previous recording, I was like, I don't want no more pain, I don't want any more challenges in my life. I've had 50 years of it, I don't want any more, I don't want to leap anymore, I don't want to go into the unknown and take chances of betting and all that. Yet if I don't, I'm not living and I'm stagnant. And I have to recall and look back of all the things I've gone through, I was supported. It didn't feel good, and I was supported.

SPEAKER_02:

I'd love if we could transition a tad. I this might be a big deep question, but I am curious who you would say Netnet is at the core.net at the core has compassion, that at the core has pain.

SPEAKER_04:

And NatNet also understands the value of letting somebody be seen in their truth and not having to shy away or cover themselves in their naked truth and recognize that the love you're seeking on the outside is already within yourself. Yet it sounds really great intellectually, it's being able to embody that internally. No, it is a feeling, it's an energy.

SPEAKER_02:

It's an energy. What do you mean by that?

SPEAKER_04:

When people are in my presence, they you know they have a safety to be themselves, to be honest, to reveal, to feel their emotions. So that's an energy. You feel safety. You don't you can't tell yourself you're safe, you have to feel it. So I'm a space of safety. I'm a space of feeling when my presence is there, people feel my presence. And there's safety in that.

SPEAKER_03:

Would you say people have always felt that around you? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

I just uh didn't honor it. I didn't think it was good enough, but I didn't value it. I thought there was something wrong with me, and I tried to contort a lot of things, and I thought everybody had this ability.

SPEAKER_02:

So can you take us down memory lane a little bit? Tell us about your upbringing, family dynamic, however deep you want to take that.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, well, I had a fun childhood. I grew up in northern Ontario, I live in Canada, so there was a lot of outdoors. I did a lot of camping, a lot of fishing, a lot of tree climbing, rocks. So I was an outdoors girl, a tomboy, as you could say, because all my cousins were males, and I'm an only child. I also had trauma. I had sexual trauma. I had a parent that was not emotionally available because they were going through their own journey of trying to deal with their trauma and not having, you know, this was a generation that didn't have resources or nobody talked about it. And so that I was exposed to substance abuse and different things. And in my teens, there was suicidal ideation and there were suicide attempts. So it was very dark, it was very confusing and just really not wanting to feel and be a part of the world because it was so much pain, because I internalized so much. And then in my 20s, I had my firstborn, and that shifted things for me to have motivation on the outside of me because I didn't know how to have motivation for myself. I didn't think of myself as a human. I thought myself as an other outside because in my childhood I had the thought that if something so cruel could happen to me, then God must not love me. So I othered myself out of self. And the journey has been to come back into it. I've been very intuitive since I've been young, yet nobody was able to support me and mentor me in that. And when I would bring it out, sometimes people would be like, Well, you can't just say that to people, and it has to be filtered, and people don't want to hear that. Where I was like, Well, don't people want to hear the truth? And don't people want honesty? And so, you know, there was a lot of contorting and putting masks in myself. And then I had twins in my mid-30s, and then in my 40th birthday, that's when things started going downhill, and I got brain lesions, and I was told I was gonna die, and I was only gonna have six months to live. And I was hospitalized for almost 40 days, going through a battery of tests and released.

SPEAKER_02:

Can I interrupt you? Approximately how long ago was that 2015-2014.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, so I started Christmas Eve, is when I got like violently sick, and I kept going to the hospital for three months. On my fifth visit, they finally said, okay, let's do some MRIs and testing. All they kept telling me was that I had the influenza, but I couldn't walk, I couldn't talk, I was vomiting, I hadn't had a bowel movement in how many weeks? I couldn't keep anything down. I had vertigo, it was like an awful. I was in a prison of pain. And then my doctor, thankfully, I had this doctor because she was like, I can't prescribe you any pain medication because I don't know what I'm medicating. So go back to the hospital. And finally, the fifth visit, someone listened, and then it was high alert, there's lesions, you're gonna die. We don't know what this is, get admitted, go through a battery of tests. And then I was released without a diagnosis, so that means without a plan. And in that, you know, I'm a solo parent of twin boys. My oldest is helping me, my mother's helping me, and I had to make the decision of okay, and this is where I am in a wilderness. I have a body that's barely functioning, yet I have these two boys that need me because they were only four at the time. So, how do I change my lifestyle? How do I go slow and steady and use the energy that I have? Because what the pain was doing now, it was like a light switch and turning off my energy. Um, so I could feel when it was coming on too, oh, the energy is gonna shut down. So I gotta hurry up. I remember one evening nobody was here, and I was bathing the boys, and I could feel it turning off. And I was like, okay, boys, we have to hurry up. We have to hurry. And I was just like so depleted. And thankfully they were able to listen and not be rambunctious and be like, oh no, we're not. And there wasn't a big fight, and getting them into bed and just them lying with me and being able to rest. And it broke my heart because it's here's these two children that are just wanting to be joyful, having a good time, yet here's my illness that's putting the damper on things. And I'm needing to interrupt their experience of openness and stuff like that. And then I learned meditation a year after that. And meditation is what allowed me to go into my nervous system, release a lot of emotional charges, which people call somatic releases from that sexual trauma and the emotional unavailability of the parents and the exposure of what I was exposed to and everything else, and reunderstand how the nervous system protects you. You know, a lot of people belittle trauma, where it's, well, trauma protected you. It protected vulnerability. Yes, it does a muck with your behavior. Yes, it does a muck of how you identify and what you accept in life. Yet that's your work to reprogram to come back into home, come back into self, come back into your worth. And thank, you know, the nervous system of, oh, you've been trying to keep me away from vulnerability and my sensitivity because it felt like a threat, because I was harmed in that openness. And it just doesn't feel safe. Yet doing that work of returning back home and letting the nervous system know you can let go of this defense mechanism now. We're safe to be in this space. We're no longer a child needing these adults for our basic needs. We can be that. But the nervous system doesn't understand intellectually, it understands feelings. So that's why you have to drop into your body and embody these things. You can't mindset everything. You can go so far, but eventually there's going to be an elastic band. And you're always running away from the feeling. It's like integrate and use the power of the nervous system. Like I love when if you know, listeners go to the other episode in the other podcast where you explain sometimes when I'm feeling fear, I take a breath and I open up my system and then I move forward. And that's what integration is it's acknowledging, oh, okay, there's this feeling sensation, and a lot of it is anticipation, the fear, the unknown. But I take a breath and let the body know it's okay to feel this, and we can still take action. We can still maneuver through that. But that takes embodiment of using these tools. You can tell yourself, and yeah, you can mindset and do certain things, yet are you connected in your body to get the fullness of your intuition?

SPEAKER_02:

And what Nette is referencing is I had mentioned about taking a deep breath in before making a big decision or having a difficult conversation and tapping back into your body and getting out of the mind. Because we're so often in the mind, you know? And I say all the time our minds are not designed to keep to make us smart, sexy, and successful. They're designed to keep us safe. Even back in the caveman days. Like I say that in the breath work sessions, because it's true. Even like you mentioned, trauma protected you, it showed up for some reason. Like you were afraid you had this trauma, and you started doing something differently to protect you, but maybe that's not serving you anymore.

SPEAKER_04:

Exactly. Exactly. It's the interpretation and understanding when you get to know what the nervous system is built off of negative biases. It's built off of finding all the problems and being able to estimate where there could be issues. So it's not looking for solutions. It's not looking for the possibilities, it's looking for all the danger. And so when people are like, oh, you're so negative, it's oh, well, your nervous system dysregulated. How can we bring it into regulation so that you can shift your perception and be able to be in the unknown and uncertain and see what there is potential and the possibilities? But you want to control and predict everything. That's not where growth is.

SPEAKER_02:

Do you have any suggestions outside of my comment about taking the breath in to control less, at least control a little?

SPEAKER_04:

When you know that you're activated too, put on music and dance. That's the quickest way that helps us move the energy in our body and change our mindset and our mental state, and be able to engage. With what's going on. So the body can communicate without you analyzing it. And the music can change your mental state also so that you can attain a higher thought. Yet a lot of us forget how easy and how good music will make us feel and dance. And we're like, we're not ready. We need to be productive. But if you move your body, you can let go of some of the charges that are in there and be able to see things differently. That you're not, if you're just head down, blinders on, that's all I can see. But dancing moves it around so that you can let in new thoughts, new frequencies come in. You work with the nervous system, and the body needs movement when it's charged. So these are simple things that anybody can access. Humming is another one that will help down regulate our vagus nerve. So humming allows this sympathetic and some soothing to go on. Like, why do you think in slavery there was so much singing and humming going on? It's because there's a counter. You're doing something that you don't want to do, yet you have to survive. So how do I hum and be able to soothe myself to be able to still take the actions?

SPEAKER_02:

I didn't know that about singing. Well, that makes sense. I don't know why this came to my mind, but people that don't want to wash the dishes and they sing at the end. I worked in the dining hall in college, and I remember them singing to pass the time to push food, and your mind is on something else almost.

SPEAKER_04:

But there's vibrations going down, so instead of feeling body too and the belief that we're this is the responsibility and this is what we have to do. And you can feel your emotions going through that without analyzing it and getting stuck in them. Vibration, we're feeling bodies that think, and the things that come intuitively naturally, we haven't been taught to tap into our body's wisdom. It can't be that simple, has to be complicated. Nervous system, oh my gosh, only academics can talk about it. Where it's like every human being is driving in a nervous system. How is it not beneficial for you to understand your own unique nervous system? Because everybody's biology is different. It sees the world differently, it has different experiences. You can have two children that grew up in the same household, had the same experience, but they will tell two different types of stories because it's received differently. Our senses feel things differently. One person feels it cold, one person feels it hot. Oh, and you want to argue about who's right and who's wrong, where it's like you both have truth because you're experiencing it differently, because your sensations are differently. Somebody gets hurt, oh, that hurt, oh, that didn't hurt. Don't say that. And it's this is this person's experience.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, it makes a lot of sense. And it's even how like people say they have the same alcoholic father, and the two sons end up toning out differently. I like how you mentioned dancing and moving. Have you heard of a woman named Rachel Hollis?

SPEAKER_03:

No, I haven't.

SPEAKER_02:

She's an author, she's wrote a few books, she's got a podcast, and I used to be overweight, overweight my whole life. And she had this saying that honestly is why I started getting into movement. She said, Move your body, change your mind. And I still have it hung up in my bedroom. If you move your body, stuff is gonna shift internally, even if it's just a walk, even if it's moving your arms. Even my grandma, when she was bedridden shortly before she passed away, she would still try to move and she would still have me sit her up because she didn't want to lay down the whole time. And my mind goes back to that. She's not dancing, but it's it's not that stuck energy, you know? It's moving that energy, even a little, you know? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

When my friend was in hospice and in the hospital dying, it was like, okay, let's take you in the wheelchair and take you for a ride. Even my other friend, I was like to the nurse, can we put him inside the wheelchair? And they're like, I guess so. I'm like, yeah, let's change his mental state. He's sitting in the bed, always in pain, not able to move properly. Let's change it and get the body a little bit physically tired so that he can find some rest and not just be looping in, this is just painful, and it's a constant feeling. That once all of a sudden the brain is active and sees different visual cues, it changes the energy inside. And it doesn't mean that, you know, like you said, that physically, like Steve Hawkins is paralyzed, but he's using his mind, he is using his wheelchair and moving around. The body can feel those frequencies and everything else. And our visuals, even if your eyes are cold, you can feel the temperature and the environments are different. Your senses are feeling it.

SPEAKER_02:

I love how you said different visuals. I'm getting almost to it here because even my meme had mentioned the TV looks different sitting up versus laying down. And that last week she had reached the point where she couldn't get out of bed, even in the wheelchair. She had a bed store, and it was one of those moving that energy, seeing different things. It changes the mind a little bit. Even if it's not this night and day, it's different, you know? Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_04:

Because it needs the mind was made to make meaning and try to predict things. So when you change your environment, like that's why they'll tell you don't always stay in the same, try to change up your room or change up your routine, so that it has something to try to solve and figure out. That's why they always tell you, even when you're older, pick up a new hobby. Because it's the grit that allows to keep the mind healthy. Because if the mind goes, the body follows. Everybody knows that. If you can keep it active, with you don't have to overdo it. Sometimes it could be just start writing with your left hand if you're right-handed. It feels uncomfortable. There's a tension, there's a yuckiness. Yet the more you do it, you're helping the mind find new pathways of making this work. But find things that would bring delight with you that would stretch you a little bit.

SPEAKER_02:

That would stretch you a little bit. What do you mean by that?

SPEAKER_04:

Because we have it that we think learning is knowing it all and being perfect and getting the A. Where learning is about not knowing and being messy and engaging in new things and developing skills that you didn't think you had. It takes time. But we're in such a microwave society, everybody wants to be perfect, and I got the solution, and everything's here. Where it's, well, your mind needs healthy ways to develop and predict things and learn things, it always wants to learn. There's no way of knowing everything in this world. There's like physically no way. There's things that I don't know that I don't know about. Because the world is vast. Experiences are vast. So when you expose yourself to a little bit more and a little bit more and release this part of being having to be perfect and not wanting to make mistakes and not wanting to be messy, there's such a delight out in the world.

SPEAKER_02:

How would you say people can tap into recognizing that their nervous system is their protector?

SPEAKER_04:

Well, as we did the mindful moment at the beginning, it can be challenging for people. Like what we did was meditation of bypass the meditation. I just call it a mindful moment because meditation has gotten such a definition. So people get a lot of aversion. And I love when people are like, I don't know how to meditate. I don't, and it's you do, and there's no right way to meditate. It's just being engaged with the presence and being engaged with your nervous system. And so when you tap into your breath, you're able to start to see and feel things internally. And then you're able to see some thoughts that you're having. A lot of people are very aware of their inner critic and how there's a voice always nagging at them or telling them that it's not right or looking at the judgment. And that's part of your nervous system. And so when the more that you can engage with that and you see, oh, but that's not me, because how could I witness it if it was me? And then you build the space in it, engaging with the dancing and you know, honoring your nervous system, honoring it with movement, seeing how chemicals, when they're released, your mindset changes and everything else. And also doing the deep work of what are the emotions? What emotions am I suppressing that I haven't even learned how to process and release? I just keep looping them and storing them back or trying to repulse them and push them away. Rather than just letting them pass through and listen to the information, the data, it's information. It doesn't mean that you have to retain it. It doesn't mean that it's going to take the direction. You don't give it the wheel to your behavior. But sometimes it does take over your behavior because the nervous system is trying to protect you. So it's having understanding. That's why radical compassion is a constant.

SPEAKER_02:

I like how you mentioned it's information and it's just learning about ourselves, learning about our nervous systems and figuring ourselves out. I love how you mentioned we all have a different nervous system.

SPEAKER_04:

We do.

SPEAKER_02:

We all have different I don't think that's talked about enough though.

SPEAKER_04:

It's like a vehicle. A vehicle is a vehicle. But there's a difference between a truck, there's a difference between a motorcycle, there's a difference between a Volkswagen to a Honda, there's a difference between a Ram truck to a minivan, but they're all vehicles. And one sienna to the other sienna is gonna perform a little bit differently. The torque is gonna be a little bit off, or the oil or the gas, like it's all a little bit differently, but they're very similar in the basis of okay, it has an engine, it has a heart, it has blood circulation, it has immune system and all that. Yet the way that you tap into it is different. And so when you can be your own mad scientist and start validating yourself and not trying to be what the world is telling you to be, that you can actually start like I get in this world, it's not created for sensitivity and vulnerability. So a lot of people are repulsed by their sensitivity and vulnerability because it feels like a weakness. Yet if you can start tapping into your sensitivity and not identifying with it, just being able to still soften your heart, to be open to see that there's delight in the world, to see that the work is when I'm feeling triggered and feeling these dense emotions, that I can find my way back to joy and peace, and that I can not be repulsed by the sensitivity because it feels so disgusting and uncomfortable at times. Honor it by, oh, at least you allow me to see the world with color and not just gray. You know, sometimes we like I said, when in my teens it got really dark. I didn't like my sensitivity. I didn't want to feel this stuff because having empathy, it can be very draining when you're seeing everybody's emotions and seeing what their life looks like, and not wanting to rescue everybody, realizing like, oh, everybody has their journey. Yet it's that work to honor yourself, honor wholeness and integrating everything, not trying to get rid of anything. It's like the part that made a mistake that feels so humiliating, and it's oh my gosh, how do I find forgiveness? Well, that part lets you know don't do that again. If you didn't have that part, you'll end up doing the same thing again because you forget how it feels what you did to somebody else.

SPEAKER_02:

It's your truth, it's your experience. I like how you mentioned how do I find forgiveness? Because I think a lot of us internally face that shame of something, whatever it is, it's different for all of us, but that internal like need to forgive ourselves. And I think everybody listening to us, you can correct me if you disagree with this, feels like they have shame and need forgiveness over whatever this is. We create this story that so-and-so and these people are thinking whatever, but half the time that's not even the case. They're too busy thinking about themselves.

SPEAKER_04:

And again, we're geared to look on the outside of us rather than to be there for ourselves and honor what our feelings are. So shame is trying to protect you from feeling what your authentic emotions is trying to come up with. It might feel humiliating that I've always had a narration that I would never harm somebody, but here I go for seeing that the one action that I thought wasn't doing anything was actually harming somebody. I can't integrate that because my story is I don't harm people. Or I've put somebody on a pedestal and I always look for their validation. So that's why I'm so worried about what other people think because I'm looking for validation. And I think only that person can give me that validation until you destroy the pedestal and come back and give yourself the power. But that takes embodying and coming into your body to acknowledge, oh, that activation of needing to be validated to feel safe is activated and I can be there for it, not knee-jerk and go out and ruminate and look at somebody else to be there for. We're conditioned to look for love on the outside of us when it's inside us. It's an experience, it's our life force, it's our identity, it's a feeling of safety. How many love stories have we been conditioned that somebody's completing us? Nobody's responsible for completing us. That's our own. We are our own whole individual. You come to partner with somebody so that they can remind you of doing your own work and they can do their own work, and you always create this accountability in this safe space of what growth looks like. And you can enjoy experiences together, and you can learn to disagree and be respectful and accountable of when you mess up. Okay, let me take the actions to repair easier said than none. That's why it's warrior work. That's why we're seeing more and more divorce rates, because it's like you're just trying to cling onto somebody to fill a hole. You're looking, most people just want a wedding, they don't want a marriage.

SPEAKER_02:

I love that you said that because I think that is so true. I don't do this anymore, but I previously was a family law paralegal for five years. And I've never been married, but I've seen a lot of divorces. So I understand that mindset. People get married pretty fucking quickly. Excuse my language. How are you saying I do already? Take a breath before you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah. And they don't even realize that the marriage doesn't have to be the contract with the government. They can have a spiritual marriage. But everybody's conditioned that it needs to look this way because that's only the legit marriage and wedding that there is. Where it's like you don't need the government in your contract for it to be valued. Like this religion of telling you it's only this way, that's not the only way to be connected with somebody.

SPEAKER_02:

I love how you mentioned the government doesn't need to be. It's true. You know, one of my really good friends, her and her, I don't even know what to call him, because they got engaged, but they never actually got married because of the government, because of all the crap. They refer to each other as husband and wife.

SPEAKER_04:

But they are. You can define what you need to be, and it doesn't have to be what you know society has deemed it. I'm taking charge of what my definitions are. My wife, that's my husband. Oh, do you have a marriage? Yeah, we've done it spiritually. I didn't pay up, you know, how many hundreds of dollars for just a piece of paper to tell me that we're binded together.

SPEAKER_02:

It's true. And you so many people think you need that paper. And it's does that make you more official, make you more committed or devoted?

SPEAKER_04:

For some it does because financials is attached and they feel that the identity is there for them. So they feel that, you know, it helps with an abandonment wound, it helps with rejection. And there's nothing wrong. Let me be clear. If this is the way that you want to go, there's nothing wrong with that. It's just be clear to understand there's always other possibilities. And some of them have no idea about it. And they're gonna argue and defend that this is the only way. And it's well, okay. If you want to be limited that way, that's fine. If that works for you, it's okay. Just be aware that there's other possibilities that you haven't entertained. And are you being honest of why you're getting married? Why the wedding? Do you understand what a commitment of a marriage is?

SPEAKER_02:

That is the biggest key. And it's even I love how you said why. Like my friend and her husband, they had legit reasons. Like they would have lost money tax-wise because of their kid if and they take turns each different year, one of them claims, but it makes sense, their reasoning. And it's I'm not saying the paper isn't make it more devoted, but maybe it doesn't. Maybe it does, but maybe it doesn't. And they wear rings. Anybody else, I'm the only person, and now the audience, that they know they're not actually married according to the government. Hope she doesn't mind me saying this. But you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_04:

It's society, you have to have it supposed to be under God. What's deemed under God? The government only can deem it under God. There's so much hypocrisy in words and how we use them that people don't even take a moment to question. And they don't see that they're enslaved in certain mindsets and belief systems that they can break out of. But it feels like a threat. Some people don't even realize I need that title so it can feel like I'm completed. But how many of them go 20, 30 years into a marriage and then they get divorced and they're like, I don't know why I did that? And it's that, it's your nervous system's trying to protect you. Yet you can actually face your nervous system and ask some profound questions. Why am I doing this? What am I feeling? What is really the intention underneath this? Or is somebody else writing my story? We're all told, you know, my oldest doesn't want to have children. And this weekend I met up with some ladies, and of course, that's the first thing. How are your children? I'm like, oh, good. Oh, so does your oldest have a child yet? I'm like, no, he doesn't want any. Oh, well, you know, that could change. I'm like, no, it's not gonna change. He doesn't want to have any children. Like it's some funeral, and it's like, where do we think that everybody has to have children to feel complete? And why does it that I need grandbabies to feel delight in my life? But it's a real condition. It's fascinating the responses I get. That he's wrong for having this decision. She'll change. He doesn't need to change. You know how responsible it is not to have children if you don't want them. Do you know how big of a responsibility that is? Are we not overpopulated? Nobody's ever taken no, no, that's what we're here for. Not all of us are here to co-create and populate and all that. We're here to support the community and be in other roles and functions. But you know it's blasphemy.

SPEAKER_02:

I completely agree. I completely agree. It's very stigmatized if you say you don't want to have kids, whether it's a woman or a man, because so many people have this mindset that we are conditioned, even if it's just the one kid, and I say that because I'm an only child, like that you have. Everybody has it like procreates, and no, they don't. Maybe they don't want to. That's okay.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, quite all right. And you're actually doing us a service because how many people go and have children and dump all their stuff because they don't know how to do their inner work, and then that child, I'm you know, a product of that. This isn't about blaming. It's recognizing if you don't have the tools, you don't realize what you're projecting and how impressionable a child is. I internalized a lot of things. My life could be a totally different avenue. Yet I'm very thankful for the empathy I had and the power of choice and a guidance. I should be dead 10 times over in this lifetime of all the choices and the places and the people I've put myself in. And it's okay, there was a guidance that was guiding me. And even when, you know, I've gone to psychologists and therapists, and when I explain some of the experiences and they're like gut-wrenching and oh, looking at a horror story when I'm explaining it, and it's like, how are you able to see the world the way that you see it with all those experiences that you had? And that's where I know there's power of choice. It's not always easy accessible. Have I made mistakes, have horrible mistakes as a parent? Oh my gosh, especially my first child, compared to what the twins like I'm humiliated. Yet that's what radical compassion is, and this is what lived experience is because this isn't about perfection. It's about standing in the journey and being able to let other people know at any time you can wake up and take accountability, change the course, take different actions.

SPEAKER_03:

Change.

SPEAKER_04:

Everybody wants change, but they don't realize how challenging and messy it is.

SPEAKER_02:

It's true, but I love how you mentioned at any point you can make a different decision, change a habit, do something different, whatever it is. And I think some people don't necessarily realize that one small little change can spiral to a lot. It does. You know, like even myself personally, like the move your body change your mind. I started moving my body 30 minutes every single day, and that was not even five years ago now. And I lost and maintained a 70-pound weight loss. And I look and feel fantastic now. And it's thank you. But it's just a personal example of I didn't know what 30 minutes of walking a day was gonna do at the forefront. You know what I mean? Like I wasn't lifting, I wasn't going to the gym, but over time it changed and it shifted, and here we are, you know.

SPEAKER_04:

I would also say that some of that was inflammation and you hiding. And you've allowed yourself to integrate the fear, not create layers of hiding. That's true. Not saying that metabolism also has its part yet of recognizing sometimes we're hiding behind the layers of inflammation and the body's not knowing how to communicate. Because too much cortisol, we're only, you know, only, I think it's what, 30, 30 milligrams of, I don't know how they read it, but the cortisol a day and anything over, it starts inflammation in your other systems. Sometimes, like cortisol and hypertension, all that, it's cortisol that's running rampant in the system. So if people are hyperactive or always in fear and anxiety, sometimes it's drastic weight loss, sometimes it's overweight and it's inflammation. So it's recognizing, you know, weight in our caveman days, weight helped us to store and be able to deal with the temperatures and fight off other animals and everything else. So, and everybody's body structure is different, also. Like this image of always lean and everything, and then people are killing themselves to get it's like there are different body types, there are different ways that your body needs to store and hold on to things. There's not this ideal perfection. Yet when you start, you know, integrating that inflammation starts coming off, and you recognize I don't need to hide behind this anymore. I'm okay and I'm safe to come out. Wow. Wow. Now sit for a moment with that because I know it opened up that opened up a lot. And these are the things that we're not taught to really look into. To be aware of what did I create within myself? What did I program my body to do that I wasn't even aware of? What are the feelings and sensations that I'm hiding from? And as you said, the breath work allowed you to come back into the body. And then the movement is okay, more of, and when you're doing those walks, you're having conversations with yourself. And if you can do your inner work and be empowered and start being accountable and start feeling and allowing yourself to feel delight and joy, it changes things. And some people, you could be walking and not announce the weight comes off, yet your energy is so different. And that's what matters, not the physical appearance. It's how do you feel inside? Some people are like two, 300 pounds, and the joy and the delight that they have is much better than the person that's 120 going to the gym all the time and trying to maintain the muscle and lean and everything else. So how you feel inside matters.

SPEAKER_02:

When you mentioned the cortisol and you mentioned like anxiety and feeling a certain way, I don't know if I've even ever talked about this, but like when I was experiencing my heaviest weight and I was, I noticed this. I was walking up three flights of stairs and I was out of breath. And I was like, I hate this. I'm carrying nothing. I can't even walk up the stairs, and I was just annoyed. But also at that time in my life, I was dealing with so much stress, so much anxiety because I had just ended my really toxic relationship, but we were still living together. And we were living together broken up because he refused to move out, and so did I, because I was stubborn as hell, and so was he. And these 30-minute walks were also like I am 30 minutes getting out of the studio apartment that I am in this claustrophobic with this man I shouldn't be in the studio apartment with. And it's I felt the energy leaf. It was more than just the weight, you know, like it was a physical, it was an emotional, it was a mental, it was all of the above. So, like I mentioned the physical weight, but it was deeper than that. You could tell.

SPEAKER_04:

And look at how you acknowledged the stubbornness of I'm gonna prove a point rather than take care of myself. Those are what trauma bonds do. It's very frictionable and want to fight and power struggle, and it's an addiction. But when we look, oh, it's oh, I don't need to do this type of war, but it's addictive, it's very engaging to fight, like the sibling rivalry, the power struggles. It's very seducing.

SPEAKER_02:

It was, and I was so combat combative because he was even like, we can't live together broken up, and I'm like, the hell we can't, then you can go. I ain't going nowhere. And I said that. I was like, I'll suck it up, I'll sleep on the fucking floor. Because we only had one bed, and I was like, I sleep in the same fucking bed, but I ain't leaving.

SPEAKER_04:

Now hear yourself in that tone and see what was underneath that.

SPEAKER_02:

I was trying to prove a point. Why? I didn't want to be the one to give up the apartment.

SPEAKER_03:

Why?

SPEAKER_05:

Brave.

SPEAKER_02:

You felt I felt fear that if I gave up the apartment, that I'd have to go backwards almost. Like I'd either have to move in with my mom. Honestly, that I would have to move back home because I wouldn't make finances work and I'd need first last insecurity and all of these different things.

SPEAKER_04:

And why was going back home not an option?

SPEAKER_02:

It was, I just didn't want to.

SPEAKER_04:

That's why I'm asking you, why did you make it not an option?

SPEAKER_02:

Because it seemed like a failure of a thing to me. So instead, I was gonna prove the point and stay in. The apartment and I didn't stay in the relationship because I ended things, but I was gonna prove this point and stay here and make this work, I guess. Like not I wasn't trying to make the relationship work, but make myself be able to keep the apartment. And eventually when the lease was up, he left and I kept it. But I don't feel like I won anything.

SPEAKER_04:

What did that remind you of? Where in your childhood did it feel like, oh, if I don't do this, I'm gonna feel like a failure? Something popped up, but you're if I don't go to college. If I don't complete that, then I would be that failure.

SPEAKER_02:

Because you know, I and it's different because I don't have this family of, oh, they all got their bachelor's, they all went to school. I was the first. But I like had this mindset of going to college, I'm getting my four-year-year degree, I'm getting the bachelor's, I'm checking the box, I'm gonna because nobody did in my family, really.

SPEAKER_04:

So recognize some of that energy that you're holding isn't yours. Some of that aggression and pushing through and trying to prove a point isn't yours. And you can let go of it and be you. It isn't mine. But it's survival. And it's valid. It's learning to transmute it and use it in a way that's clean and in in your way, not being dragged by it.

SPEAKER_02:

Honoring what that was, yet I can make a different choice with it. Yeah, and recognizing even like you said before, that like it protected me for the time that it did, but it doesn't serve doesn't serve me anymore.

SPEAKER_04:

Do you feel that in your body, the difference? Yeah. That's part of the big time. So this is how you can engage with your nervous system. It's difficult to, you know, guide somebody because every nervous system has a different language and to find that opening and how you're gonna engage. I was able to regulate you and bring you and feel the different sensations so that you felt safe with it. Because the nervous system doesn't always want to be acknowledged. That's why they say the ego, you know, talking directly to it, you know, insulates and it's a chameleon and everything else. I just have this gift of okay, we can feel and acknowledge the nervous system, and it's not going to be humiliated by it.

SPEAKER_02:

You are great with that. Thank you. You're welcome. I'm like blown away here, if you can't tell. It makes a lot of sense, though. Thank you so much, NatNat. This was amazing. You're welcome. Have you heard of a man named Jay Shetty?

unknown:

Yep.

SPEAKER_02:

So he's got a podcast code on purpose, and he ends his podcast with two segments, and I end my podcast with those two segments as well. First segment is the many sides to us, and there's five words, five questions, and they need to be answered in one word each. What is one word someone who was meeting you for the first time would use to describe you as? Breathe. What is one word someone who knows you extremely well would use to describe you as? What is one word you'd use to describe yourself?

SPEAKER_03:

Fun.

SPEAKER_02:

What is one word that if someone didn't like you or agree with your mindset would use to describe you as? Irritating. What is one word that you're trying to embody right now? Confidence. Second segment of the final five, and these can be answered in up to a sentence. What is the best advice you've heard or received? Remember to be kind to yourself.

SPEAKER_04:

Why is that the best? Because when your nervous system's activated, it gets very rigid, and if you can bring kindness, it regulates it. But we don't want to feel kindness. Yet if we embody it, it's no longer something that we have to activate. It's just our way of being. And I was like, well, it's a signal from the body. So it's okay to have some pain and let it re-regulate. Yet he was like, oh no, people shouldn't have to feel pain. So and I'm like, oh well, I'm not trying to be addicted to opiates and other painkillers and stuff, but the mindset of pain is garbage and nobody should be feeling it. It's like part of being human and how it recalibrates.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, I agree as part of being human. What is something that you used to value that you no longer value?

SPEAKER_03:

What did I value that I no longer value? I don't know. I really don't know. What did I value that I no longer value? I really don't know. I don't know how to answer that one. I really don't.

SPEAKER_02:

There's gotta be something.

SPEAKER_04:

Cause, you know, I see things, but it doesn't mean I fully have released them. I've just shifted them and integrated them, and I can understand them more, but they don't control. What have I valued that I like I I've been always a very unique person? As you can say, I don't wear makeup, so that was always a big thing. Like when I want to, I'll wear makeup when I vet when I used to go to work. Like women would be like, How are you at work with no makeup? And I say, I don't have time for that. So some of the beauty things and some of the things that people were attached to, I didn't have that. Like I wish I could say, Oh, and that goes beauty, and now I don't have to wear makeup, but I've never had to deal with that.

SPEAKER_02:

Something you used to value that you value less. No. You value everything the same that you used to value it.

SPEAKER_04:

Well, I don't know it. I don't know. I really don't know how to answer that. I really don't know. I really don't have an answer for that one. I know it'll be like, this woman doesn't have values and she doesn't know. And it's I just see things and okay. Before I used to value always having like the top-notch technology, we would say that's an answer, and I've let go, but I still have well, I don't I used to always have the name brand phone like all the time. But now I have a two-year phone. But once that plan goes, I'll get another one. But it's not like I always have to have that newness on technology. So I guess, yeah, that part I've been able to release that part. Yeah, see, that's a yet I still, if it's there, I'll get a new thing. It's not that it's a need for me to have the new technology, it's financially, does it make sense and the quality of what that is? And or are the needs there?

SPEAKER_02:

Well, I get that. That makes sense. I think that means you have less value over the newness, you know? Even if it doesn't mean you don't value it at all, you have less of the value.

SPEAKER_04:

I wonder sometimes, is it just hidden underneath in my behavior, or is it really that I'm not engaged, but it's just the opportunity that presents itself? Like I have a brand new car. I had to get a brand new car because my car got written off. And I was shopping for old cars, but the way the interest rate was, it didn't make sense. And the way old cars were, then I got a new vehicle with 0% interest for five years.

SPEAKER_02:

If you could describe what you would want your legacy to be, as if someone was reading it, what would you want it to say?

SPEAKER_04:

The legacy would want to be that people can feel safe to accept themselves to better understand themselves and to feel safe to be seen for who they are, not who society wants them to be.

SPEAKER_02:

And I want to know why.

SPEAKER_04:

I statements. Because when you do an I statement, you're taking accountability and you're revealing your emotions and what you're feeling. We use a lot of you statements to blame other people not being able to take the accountability of what we're feeling. We're blaming others for why our triggers are pushed, where they didn't push the triggers. We have access to those buttons, but we're not conditioned to take responsibility and be able to reveal our emotions. We're in a society that doesn't acknowledge emotions. So I states would bring a difference in communication. Thank you so much for speaking with me. Thank you, Amanda, and thank you for what you're creating here. You're creating a space where people can learn about themselves. And you're such a great host. Look at we're an hour and a half talking, and you were so gracious of being vulnerable, live here, so that other people can see your journey. And you allowed the curiosity to open up different places that you hadn't seen before, and to be more empowered to actually not berate yourself of what better that you have to get, that you can actually appreciate what you have grown and see the journey that you have created, not what you need to still become, that you can appreciate where you are in your destiny right now and flourish from there. So thank you for doing the alchemy, creating all the impurities, turning them into gold, yet not keeping it for yourself. You're sharing it with the others. So thank you for that work, this warrior work.

SPEAKER_02:

Absolutely. Thank you as well. You are doing the warrior work too, and I love to see it. I love to see it. And I do like to just give it back to the guests. Any final words of wisdom for the listeners that you want to share?

SPEAKER_04:

If there was anything in this podcast or this conversation entangled, reach out to me. My website's liftoneself.com. I'm on the social medias under lift oneself. As you can see, I'm very approachable. If you've got that shivers or aha, that's your limbic system trying to communicate to you. So I may have something that to offer you as a service and a guidance. Also, my biggest phrase that I always leave with people is to remember to be kind to yourself because you matter.

SPEAKER_02:

Thank you. You do matter no matter who you are listening to us here. Thank you. I really appreciate this. Thank you, Amanda. And thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of Mander's Mindset. Thank you so much for tuning in to that transformative episode with Natna. As I sit with this conversation, a few things landed very deeply for me. And I want to share them with you as we close out this episode. First, your nervous system is not your enemy. It's your protector. Second, you can't mindset your way out of everything. Mindset in shifting your mindset will help a lot. But you can't mindset your way out of everything. Sometimes the woke is in the body. Sometimes the woke is in the pause. Sometimes the woke is in letting your nervous system. No. Well not in that old moment anymore. Third. Overgiving is not the same as being kind. And proving a point is not the same as being powerful. Nat Nat reflected something to me in real time that honestly hit home. She reflected how often we pushed refuse to let go because of old survival patterns. I saw it in my breath work pricing. In work. Even in that old relationship and that apartment story I shared. On the surface, it looked like strength and determination. But underneath, it was a fear of looking like a failure. Fear of going quote unquote backwards. Fear of not being safe. And lastly, you are allowed to write your own story. I'm gonna say that again. You're allowed to write your own story. You're allowed to change your mind. You're allowed to shift how you show up. There's no rule book except the one you create. So, if you're listening to me right now and seeing yourself in any of it, the people pleasing, the pushing, the stubborn proving, the overgiving, the hiding in your body. I want you to hear this. Nothing is wrong with you. Your system is intelligent. And you are allowed to create safety in new ways now. Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is not to push harder. It's to soften. To breathe. To hum. To dance. To move your body. To choose an I statement. To give compassion to the part of you that's just trying to keep you alive. And with all of this being said, I want to share something with you directly. I am taking December off from releasing new Mander's Mindset episodes. It has been a magical year full of expansion and growth and so many shifts, mindset shifts and other shifts. And it also feels like the right time to pause. To reset. But don't worry. If you still want to hear from me, Breathwork Magic will still be releasing throughout December. So you can still hear about the magic of our breath and learn some little tricks and techniques to help you recenter yourself. I'll still be active on YouTube and Instagram with shorts, reels, and some really powerful content that we have been creating behind the scenes. So take this as your permission. As your reminder. You're always allowed to pause. And you're allowed to pause and take a breath. Thank you for being here. Thank you for supporting me and supporting me in his mindset. Thank you for listening. Thank you for doing the inner work with me. Alongside me and through me. We're growing together. And this conversation with Natna is a reminder that every shift begins with awareness. Until next time. Keep breathing. Keep shifting. And remember, everything is figure outable.

SPEAKER_01:

In case no one told you today, I'm proud of you. I'm rooting for you. And you got that. As always, if you enjoyed the show, I would really appreciate it if you would leave me a five stellar rating. Leave a review. And share with anyone you think would benefit from that. And don't forget, you are only one nine step just away from shifting your life. Thanks guys, until next time.

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