Manders Mindset
Hosted by Amanda Russo, The Breathing Goddess, who is a Breathwork Detox Facilitator, Transformative Mindset Coach, and Divorce Paralegal.
Amanda's journey into mindset and empowerment began by working with children in group homes and daycares. She later transitioned to family law, helping people navigate the challenging emotions of divorce. During this time, Amanda also overcame her own weight and health challenges through strength training, meditation, yoga, reiki, and plant medicine.
Amanda also shares her personal journey, detailing how she transformed obstacles into opportunities by adopting a healthier, holistic lifestyle.
Discover practical strategies and inspiring stories that will empower you to break free from limitations and cultivate a mindset geared towards growth and positivity.
Tune in for a fun, friendly, and empowering experience that will help you become the best version of yourself.
Manders Mindset
113: A Feast for the Senses: Jared Gleaton on Food, Weight Loss, & Growth
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This fascinating and reflective episode of Manders Mindset dives deep into the transformative connection between food, mindset, and personal growth through an inspiring conversation with Jared Gleaton. Jared is a nationally certified school psychologist, food critic, and author who has reshaped his life by losing over 170 pounds in just one year. His journey is not just about weight loss—it’s about using food as a mechanism for personal transformation, mindfulness, and growth.
Throughout this candid discussion, Jared shares how shifting his mindset and reevaluating his relationship with food helped him overcome challenges, break unhealthy patterns, and embrace change. From the science of weight loss to the psychological art of eating, Jared’s insights will leave you inspired to redefine your own approach to food and life.
What to Expect in This Episode
- Shaping Identity Through Food: Jared opens up about his early life experiences, how food shaped his identity, and the role it played in coping with difficult times.
- Family Dynamics and Eating Habits: An honest discussion on the influence of childhood environments and family relationships on food choices and eating patterns.
- Demystifying Weight Loss: Jared breaks down the science of calories, weight loss, and the myths perpetuated by the billion-dollar diet industry.
- The Power of Moderation: Learn why moderation and mindfulness—not restriction—are the keys to cultivating a healthy relationship with food.
- Food Criticism as an Art Form: Jared shares his approach as a food critic, emphasizing exploration, self-awareness, and a willingness to try new things.
- Encouraging Self-Reflection: Practical advice on identifying patterns, stepping out of your comfort zone, and using food as a gateway to emotional and psychological growth.
- The Role of the Five Senses: Insights into how sensory experiences shape our perception of food and how to use this awareness to elevate dining experiences.
About Jared Gleaton
Jared is not only a school psychologist but also a passionate advocate for mindful eating and self-discovery through food. His book, A Feast for the Senses: The Psychological Art of Eating Well, combines personal stories, food critiques, and practical advice to help readers explore their relationship with food and embrace change. Jared’s mission is to inspire others to redefine their lives one bite at a time.
To Connect with Amanda:
~ linktree.com/thebreathinggoddess
~ Instagram
~ TikTok
~ Join the Manders Mindset Facebook Community HERE!
~ Follow Manders Mindset on Instagram HERE!
~ Explore Amanda’s NEW podcast: Breathwork Magic(Available on all major platforms or you can listen on Apple!)
To Connect with Jared's Links & Resources:
- Jared Gleaton’s Book: A Feast for the Senses: The Psychological Art of Eating Well on Amazon
- Follow Jared Online:
Welcome to the Manders Mindset Podcast. Here you'll find both monologue and interviews of entrepreneurs, coaches, healers and a variety of other people when your host, Amanda Russo, will discuss her own mindset and perspective and her guest's mindset and perspective on the world around us. Manders and her guests will help explain to you how shifting your mindset will shift your life will help explain to you how shifting your mindset will shift your life.
Speaker 3:Welcome to Mander's Mindset where we explore the power of shifting your mindset to shift your life.
Speaker 2:I'm your host, Amanda Russo, and I'm here today with Jared Gleaton, and he is a nationally certified school psychologist, a food critic, an author, a dog dad, and he lost over 170 pounds in a year, which obviously took a lot of internal shifts. So we're going to get into all of that and he studies the intersection of food and psychology through the five senses, which I'm so fascinated by. And I am here today with Jared. Thank you so much for joining me.
Speaker 4:Thank you so much for having me, Amanda. I'm so excited to be here. Let's shift some minds.
Speaker 2:I'd love to. So that's an awesome bio, but who would you say? Jared is at the core.
Speaker 4:Well, at the core is someone that changed, someone that had to shift their entire mindset to make life decisions. And you know, I used food as a mechanism to make that mind shift. And food is the story of us, it defines us, it's what we grew up with. So many things happen around a dinner table or out to eat with friends, loved ones, and at the core of it all is someone who just lives their life and wanted to share that message with other people to let them know that we can take the time for ourselves and use something as simple as food to grow in all aspects of our life.
Speaker 2:That's awesome. That's so true, though, that it's everywhere, Like you can't escape it. Not that you want to escape it, but it is in so many social settings, so many aspects. It's something you need to live. It's everywhere.
Speaker 4:Well, that's the old coin saying eat to live, don't live to eat. And I very much love to live to eat instead of eating to live. And that just goes back to today's society and culture, especially in the United States. And you know, food is the story of us and it also is a powerful tool and mechanism and it can be used for great things or it can be used to our own detriment. And it's so. Many things go into food and our food choices every day.
Speaker 2:That is so true. Well, can you take us down memory lane and tell us a little bit about childhood upbringing, family dynamic, however deep you want to go with that, Basically lay the foundation.
Speaker 4:Let's get down the rabbit hole. So I'm originally from Maine. That's where I spent my childhood. My father was an artist and my mother was an ophthalmologist. She recently retired and she did her residency at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, minnesota. And we moved to Maine when I was really young and that's where my me and my three sisters sort of grew up until 13. And that's when our parents divorced and I moved to Oklahoma with my father. My father has a sister that lives here in Oklahoma. So the divorce was very traumatic and a lot happened to the divorce and, like many things is.
Speaker 4:You know I escaped into food and I did that even as an early child. You know I have memories of eating with my father, my dad cooking with me, but looking back on it, it was indulgence. I was never told no for what I would eat or how much I would eat, and you know making those decisions. As time sort of went on, you know I'd gotten bigger and in your youth you think you're immortal and you don't feel the eeks and creaks, even though you might be 300, 350, 370 pounds.
Speaker 4:And so in you know, 2016, I lost my father and that was very hard for me and at the time when I looked down, I couldn't even see certain appendages in my feet when I peed, and he'd always been worried about my weight. And I decided to try and really make a life altering decision to lose weight in a way that was quite effective, and. But I used food in that time to really explore my senses, explore each flavor palette, because at that time I was restricting what I ate, and so each bite became a work of intellectual art, so to speak, an avant-garde of the taste buds. Through that method I was able to understand myself and the world so much better and I was able to grow through food instead of using as a coping mechanism to get even bigger wow.
Speaker 2:So I want to backtrack a little bit you, when you were 13, you moved to oklahoma with your dad yes, I did and mom and your sister stayed in maine yes, my mom and sister stay in maine.
Speaker 4:My youngest sister she currently lives in rhode island and the rest live in bajaaja, maine.
Speaker 2:And did you still see them? Like? How was that?
Speaker 4:You know, I got to see my sisters about once a year and I got to see them periodically throughout the childhood. But it was something that I just sort of missed was that camaraderie of my sister, my sisters, and so you know that was something that I sort of lamented. Now we're as close as we've ever been. We keep in touch. You know, I actually play video games with them, I talk to them on the phone. We try to keep in touch as much as possible because family is important. Healthy family dynamics are important, because I think that even goes back into another psychological thing, is where we have the mentality that family is important. But there can be nothing more toxic or detrimental to one's self than family, and that's the sad reality more toxic or detrimental to one's self than family, and that's the sad reality that is so true.
Speaker 2:Now, how was school transitions, from being 13 now going from being in maine living with your parents and sisters to moving to a whole different state, just you and your dad?
Speaker 4:well, in that age, I think is a tough age it was a very tough age and the town that I lived in at the time was not particularly inclusive. The first time I had heard the name Jesus Christ or what God was or the Bible was when I was 13, in middle school, and that didn't age very well. It was a culture shock and in a very conservative state, in a very conservative town, I had a lot of growing up to do or learning to do in a short period of time and naturally I was not very agreeable and that's just my nature. So it was a very big struggle in my teenage years just from that aspect and standpoint.
Speaker 2:I got you.
Speaker 4:It's not that Maine doesn't have religious. They have churches. It just wasn't part of my culture. It wasn't part of my family, it wasn't my part of my bringing up and that wasn't really what our community surrounded themselves with, like it is here in Oklahoma Massive culture change.
Speaker 2:And so you're in school in Oklahoma, and how is high school go for you?
Speaker 4:So high school was very rough, had some very poor teenage decisions that I made that I ultimately regret. What I really learned, looking back at my high school years, was we don't learn from our successes, so much so as we learn from our failures, and I had a great many failures in high school, but I did go to college. I sort of drifted around after high school for a couple of years. I moved up to PA because some of my dad's extended family lives there in Pennsylvania was lost, wasted time and money, and then I finally came back to Oklahoma right around 2007. And I finished out my undergraduate in psychology at the University of Central Oklahoma and I went right into graduate school and got my master's degree in 2009 in school psychology and I've been working as a school psychologist from 2011 on for oklahoma how do you like school psychology?
Speaker 4:absolutely one love it. It's a passion. I love working with students with disabilities, trying to help them. I used to be just some a tester, just go in test, leave, but now it's becoming really a calling and a passion. It's something that I really love and enjoy doing wow, okay, that's awesome.
Speaker 2:And how do you decide psychology?
Speaker 4:I wanted to figure out what are some things behind all of those things, and I got some of my answers and some of the answers will be lost to the ether answers, and some of the answers will be lost to the ether.
Speaker 2:And now, in terms of food and in terms of weight you mentioned, your dad was always a little worried about you from like a young age, or so, really, when I started, when I was eight or nine, is when I started to really balloon up, and you know, by the time I was 2016,.
Speaker 4:I was already exploring fine dining. I just in some of the greatest restaurants La Bernardine in New York, petit Crenn in San Francisco, alinea in Chicago these are all Michelin restaurants and I had bloomed up to about around 376 pounds by 2016. And he was very worried and that's unfortunately in 2016,. I lost my father. I lost my father, my brother, my friend and my teacher. Oh, I'm so sorry. It's one of those things that you know. It was a make or break moment. It was a defining moment. In that moment, I could use food as I always did a coping mechanism or I could use it as an inspiration for change, and that's what I was able to do.
Speaker 2:Wow, that's amazing. So what was your first step?
Speaker 4:Well, the first step is understanding what weight loss is. We live in a culture where weight loss is a billion dollar industry. We, as americans, were primed. We want results now, and that is what we expect. We weight loss powder, this protein powder, that this magic pill is going to help you lose weight just sitting down, and that's an. That is. The thing is. We buy into these commercials. Millions of dollars are spent on trying to convince us that this little pill will stop the fat absorption or this or that, but that's all unfortunately, not true, or it has little shades of truth. That really isn't going to get where I need to go.
Speaker 4:So I did some research into figuring out how the body uses fat. So a calorie is just a unit of energy. It is a measurement of energy. Calories is what ultimately fuels your body. You can say that vitamins and carbohydrates all these things fuel your body. It's true, but carbs is the carbs, but the actual energy is calorie, and so one thing that you have to learn is that your body loves the energy, and if your body doesn't burn the energy, it's going to store it on all the places you don't like it being stored, and that's what fat is.
Speaker 4:Fat is unused calories, unused energy. There are several tools online to figure out what's called your basic metabolic rate. If you can figure out your basic metabolic rate, what that is the amount of calories your body burns just sitting down and doing nothing all day. So that's based on your sex, your age, your height, and if you can calculate that and figure it out, then you have a good starting point to realize.
Speaker 4:If you're 39, a male, 200 pounds, your body only might need 1900 calories to do nothing all day. If you know that there are two methods to lose weight, you can either restrict the calories you eat to get under 1900 calories, or you can burn calories to exercise to get under 1900 calories. The bottom line is this If you burn more calories than you eat, you're going to lose weight, and that's the overwhelming majority of people. It's as simple as that If you eat more calories than your body uses, you're going to gain weight because your body's got to store that right on your ass, and so once you figure that out, you can come up with a game plan of what you want to do either restrict or exercise.
Speaker 2:And how do you know this?
Speaker 4:and how do you know this interesting reading? I figured out because I always knew, growing up in high school and understanding science class and basic biology, that I learned in college that you just your body, needs its fuel. Food is fuel and that's all there is to it. Even the bad calories, like horrible processed foods, it's still fueled for your body, and so once I figured that out, I had to come up with a plan, and I had to realize that each gram of food has X amount of calories in it, and so I had to then start measuring out how many calories I was eating every day. So I didn't really cut out the foods that I didn't like.
Speaker 4:I love the cookie. It just meant if I had that cookie, I might be hungry later and I need to fill the void with other things like fruits and vegetables and things that are lower calorie but will get you full. But I didn't deprive myself of the cookie or the brownie or the little four or five ounce milkshake. It's all about moderation and portion control, because if you sit there and say you can't have that cookie, what's the first thing you're going to do? You're going to say I'm going to have that cookie, I'm going to have more cookie, it's because we're all we're, we're not trained in moderation. And that's the first adjustment is not cutting out and denying yourself the pleasure, but restricting the pleasure a little bit and then taking the time to really, when you eat that little cookie, really explore is it salty, is it sweet, are there chocolate? What does the chocolate do with the rest of the cookie? And then just have a little mini experience whenever you get to have that cookie.
Speaker 2:I like how you mentioned not depriving. You know, I talk a lot about that because whatever it is we want, whatever is said we can't have, like even like the little kid. When mom says you can't have X, y, z, that kid wants it even more than they wanted it before. Because now you're saying you can't have it. You know, and it's just not telling yourself that.
Speaker 2:You know, when I first started my weight loss journey, I didn't even go very in depth but I just I didn't restrict anything. I simply told myself I was going to add in more good things. I added in more water, I added in more protein. I didn't want to weigh it at first, I didn't want to get into tracking and overwhelm myself, but I just ate more meat, you know, and ate more good, as opposed to even like mentally telling myself I'm not taking away anything, like I'm not depriving myself, nothing changed, I'm just adding in more things that are good. You know, and even like tricking your mindset to, I'm not depriving myself, nothing changed, I'm just adding in more things that are good, and even tricking your mindset to, I'm not missing out on anything.
Speaker 4:That's what you've got to do, and there's so many different ways you can do to lose weight, but it still comes down to calories in versus calories out. And what was sort of intoxicating for me is I did the method where I counted diligently and I weighed myself every day and as I lost weight, as the numbers changed, I loved that that was another fuel to the fire of I can do this. We each have our different motivations and it's important to figure out what yours is, and I think that one of the biggest things is the determination to stick through it and realizing that we're going to make mistakes along the way and it's okay. It is okay to have a failure here or there. That's the opportunity to learn and that's what's most important.
Speaker 2:What's helped you stick through it.
Speaker 4:What's helped me stick through it? What's helped me stick through it? Well, first off, that you know I still work out every day, so I got into that routine. I feel good. I feel pretty bad when I don't work out, just almost a little depressed. I'm not getting that dopamine and even though it gets arduous day in day out, it's still something that I need that helps alleviate stress, burn excess energy that I have and keep me stable throughout the day and so some other things is just the remembrance that I don't want to go back to the way I was. I want to keep this change and keep it going in my evolution as a person and also realizing there are going to be days that are going to be worse than others in a struggle, but the days that are better far outnumber the days that are worse, and that's something to celebrate.
Speaker 2:That's really true. That makes a lot of sense. So how long ago was this that you first started losing the weight?
Speaker 4:I started in 2016 and I lost 176 in one year. I've kept it off since 2017.
Speaker 2:Wow, that's amazing. And have you lost more weight since? Have you maintained it?
Speaker 4:I'm maintaining I'm happy where I'm at. I'm not going to. I'm not looking for that ripped look. That's not necessarily the extra weight thing I want to go for. I'm comfortable where I'm at. That doesn't necessarily mean that I don't need to constitute change, because we're always changing. The world is changing around us, my metabolism is changing, so it's something to consider.
Speaker 2:Now. So 2017, that's seven-ish years ago have you changed anything that you were doing then to what you're doing now?
Speaker 4:Yes, I do not watch my calories as much. I still weigh myself every two weeks and if I gained a couple of pounds then I do watch my calories a little bit more until I lose a couple of pounds. So I stay within five or six pounds of you know, 210 any given day.
Speaker 2:And so what does eating look like for you?
Speaker 4:Well, eating for me is I do one meal a day. Primarily, I might do some snacks throughout the day. I always make sure to eat, no matter what, one pound of fruit or vegetables, and that could be peaches, strawberries, carrots, celery. I usually eat one pound throughout the day, and that is just because it's, first off, healthy for you and, two, it's going to keep you full and it's very low calorie density. That means that a pound of strawberries might only have 200 calories. That's going to fill you up pretty darn quick, and strawberries taste good, I think. 160 calories for a pound. And that affords me to eat some other things that I enjoy, like tonight I had a barbecue sandwich. It was delightful, with some potato salad, and so I was able to do that, but when I got home I had myself a big old pound of peaches. So now I'm not full, or so now I am full.
Speaker 2:Okay, and now have you been doing the pound of food through veggies since 2017? I have, okay. Wow, and where did the idea come?
Speaker 4:from. It's as simple as that. It's trying to figure out what is going to be somewhat healthy, that's going to fill me up and my body is going to be useful, and so I actually looked at the satiating index to figure out what foods that are lowest in calories fill you up the most. And, believe it or not, it's potatoes. Potatoes are an incredible food Baked potatoes. If you eat a pound of potatoes, I think it only has 373 calories and you're going to feel very full. The reason why potatoes get a bad rap is because they're a blank slate. When was the last time you had a potato with just a little salt?
Speaker 2:I don't never.
Speaker 4:All right. So what do you put on that potato?
Speaker 2:Some type of butter, sour cream.
Speaker 4:Oh, anything else.
Speaker 2:I don't do bacon.
Speaker 4:Maybe you throw some cheese on there, maybe Some chives? Yeah, you just created that beautiful potato into a 1,500-calorie bomb. That's true. Yeah, so it's not the potato, it's all the other shit we put on top of the potato. And this tastes good, don't get me wrong. You take that potato mix in some butter, some sour cream, some cheese, a little garlic. You better make sure that's the only thing you eat all day long. That's the problem.
Speaker 4:But, that just goes back to moderation. If you have that baked potato and you finish it, and then you have a big old 32 ounces of sweet tea, and then you have a cookie, and then you have a soup or a salad, You're looking at 3,000 calories, almost that's. If you're a young lady, that's 1,800 more than what you should be eating a day in order to maintain your weight. And that's the sad reality. And these are things we don't think of because, if you think about it our whole culture or have you ever heard you better finish your plate. You better finish everything on your plate. You're very fortunate to eat this and there's nothing wrong with that mentality, but it makes us feel like we need to eat everything and no control, no moderation, and a lot of us live in poverty and so, as a result, a lot of the cheap foods are not very good for us and we pour it on our plates. Get a can of Chef Boar D for 98 cents.
Speaker 2:And you do hear that, even like you're not getting up until you finish everything on your plate.
Speaker 4:Yes, yes, and that is that it all goes into the culture, and why? A big reason, why you know we're a large society at the moment where do you think we break that? Well, it starts with being aware, having more self-awareness and having an understanding that maybe not our upbringing and all these things that we cherish and hold dear are good for us. You know, it's all formed from our environment, but of course we have biological responses, so from an early age we are trained to what we think we like.
Speaker 2:Probably cookies. What type of cookie I eat? These like protein cookies. What type of cookie I eat? These like protein cookies.
Speaker 4:Do you eat them in your childhood?
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 4:What was your favorite childhood snack?
Speaker 2:Favorite childhood snack Ice cream.
Speaker 4:What type of ice cream?
Speaker 2:Cookies and cream.
Speaker 4:Breyers Bluebell Haagen-Dazs.
Speaker 2:Friendly's probably.
Speaker 4:Friendly's. Okay, that's a Northeastern thing, All right, could you eat yourself some Friendly's right now?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I guess.
Speaker 4:Would it taste good? Can you remember that cookies and cream coating your mouth right now if you think about it?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 4:How does that taste? Just a thought good do you think it's good? Or do you think you've trained yourself that it's good because that's what you liked in your childhood? If you had friendlies today, do you think it tastes the same?
Speaker 2:it's interesting you say that because some of what I've had since I've lost all the weight I don't enjoy, or it doesn't have the same taste to me that it used to. It's not necessarily like it's bad, but it's just okay. It's okay, but I don't have that.
Speaker 4:I love that and so do you remember with friendlies? Do you remember seeing friendlies in the grocery store?
Speaker 2:usually in the grocery store did?
Speaker 4:it have a beautiful little package.
Speaker 4:I think it was pink, if I remember friendlies it read, but yeah right, okay, yeah, it was a package that your eyeball caught, told your parents that you wanted that, and it was right at the level where you could open up the freezer and it was right near for you to grab. Yeah, that's, that's not a mistake. That is careful. Millions of dollars of planning to get your parents to buy that, and that is sort of what I'm talking about. All these things are marketing towards us, our parents, us as kids, and we're then trained from an early from that early age. How many people today still like Kraft macaroni and cheese? Is it very good? No, but you can still eat some Kraft macaroni and cheese. And so the question then becomes how well do you know yourself, or how well have you been trained to what you've been trained to like your entire life? And that's an uncomfortable thought that someone has fed you what you think you like, and the question is do you really like it or have you just betrayed?
Speaker 2:What's so true? You know, it's even like little kids, like I don't have kids myself, but I'm getting to the age where my cousins are having kids, I have friends who have kids and seeing how different people raise this and you know it's like certain kids like, oh, they want McDonald's. And then you've got some kids who, like they don't even know what McDonald's is. You're not born just wanting chicken nuggets. They don't just crave chicken nuggets if it's not given to them.
Speaker 4:You can take it outside of the room with you. Do you like what you like? When you smell something, do you really like it or have you been manufactured to smell it because that Kim Kardashian smells like diamonds Dior.
Speaker 2:That is so true. That is so true.
Speaker 1:That's like pumpkins.
Speaker 2:We're in fall and that's like pumpkin and I hate pumpkin spice. I am not like your typical white girl at all. I absolutely despise everything pumpkin yeah.
Speaker 4:The next question is is Taylor Swift really good, or did she do a couple of catchy tunes that resonated with every 13 to 17 year old girl?
Speaker 2:I love her.
Speaker 4:Did she come up with a catchy tune that you thought that's me never, ever getting back together and you're like, yes, taylor hit like I know what he gave me in high school. Now, there's nothing wrong with that, it's catchy and she's talented. I'm not saying she's not catchy and talented, but did I just hit something that might be somewhat true on some level? So it's going to be forever or it's going to go down in flames, just saying Food for thought.
Speaker 2:I think she's great.
Speaker 4:I think she's great too. I'm not saying she's not great, I'm just pointing out that and I remember the moment that I found out who taylor swift was, I was driving down tulsa and then all of a sudden, there's this suv that pulls up to me with what's got to be high school, early college girls five them, and all simultaneously. At once they yell getting back together and I'm just like yep, every one of you. That's the line that resonated with you. Rest of the song probably sucks, but that is what nailed it for you, just like every boy loved Britney Spears growing up. If you listen to Britneyney spears music, is it objectively good? Does she have good vocals? Did she come up with those melodies on her own?
Speaker 2:um, there's a lot of stuff. I feel like that we are, I guess you could say, manufactured to think we want the question are you going to put yourself in the box or do you want to define your own box?
Speaker 4:A little trick question Do you like the game chess? I don't know how to play chess. Have you heard of the game chess? Yes, have you seen a game of chess? Yes. Okay, in chess, what is your role? What are you?
Speaker 2:Queen.
Speaker 4:Why.
Speaker 2:Because I just want to be the queen.
Speaker 4:Okay, ask that question of other people and see what they say. So why did you pick a piece?
Speaker 2:I consider myself queen.
Speaker 4:I love that. I consider myself queen. I love that, and so, though, so have you put yourself in a box, if you think of the metaphor and analogy.
Speaker 4:you're now trapped on this board with other pieces, and while you're in control of the queen and you can move to any pieces, you could have said anything you wanted. What role do you play? And I like to think of myself. One other person caught this and they said well, I'm an observer and I look at it like I'm the one playing the game. I'm the one that controls the queen, the pawn, the king, and so if you say you're a piece, you've relegated yourself to whatever power that piece holds and you've put yourself on a board where you're limited by four corners and you can't move off the board unless you're taking out Fun, isn't it?
Speaker 2:Disconcerting, interesting.
Speaker 4:What do you play in chess? What are you in chess? It can be anything you want. You can be the observer, the time clock or the person playing the game.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 4:So that might give you a little idea to your own world meta. And so whenever you put yourself in a box, it impacts all aspects of our lives. I put myself in a box on a constant visit, daily, every day, and just having to stop and have a moment to say did I put myself in a box and how can I expand past this box? Or, if nothing else, make the box a little more circular, more circular. Yeah, if you go round, you don't run into a wall.
Speaker 2:Okay, If you go round you don't run into a wall.
Speaker 4:I don't like the idea of a box with its rigidity.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 4:It's a good thing to ponder, isn't it? Yeah, I can't tell if it's a good ponderance or a bad ponderance.
Speaker 2:No, I'm just thinking it makes sense, I get what you're saying. Wow, okay, if nothing else, go thinking it makes sense, I get what you're saying.
Speaker 4:Wow, okay, nothing else. Go back to the chess analogy. That was better. No, it's then having that self-actualization, that realization that goes into weight loss, that goes into your food decision, that goes into the essence of your life. It also facilitates change, because if you're able to understand that you've fallen into a pattern, the question is do you want it, are you okay with that pattern Because patterns aren't necessarily bad or do you want to evolve from that pattern?
Speaker 2:Patterns aren't necessarily bad, okay.
Speaker 4:What's your routine?
Speaker 2:That's fair. What's your routine?
Speaker 4:Do you take the same? If you drive to work routine? Do you take the same? If you drive to work? Do you take the same route? I mean, there's patterns aren't bad by any means. It's the question of, though we get trapped in the mundane of the pattern. That's where you have burnout, you have boredom, you have people that eat through food because they're bored. If we can identify patterns, identify the boxes we put ourselves in, we have the opportunity to break through.
Speaker 2:So how do we start to identify those?
Speaker 4:An honest conversation with yourself and reflection of the day-to-day things that you do in life, even as something small and minute. Just think about it for a small second. What is something that you did today that, oops, I was a pattern. I think I could do that better. There's some other things I could have done in that place of that. Instead of grabbing that ice cream, what are some other things we can grab? Maybe a fidget spinner, maybe a book, maybe a cool glass of water, maybe a book, maybe a cool glass of water. It's all about self-awareness and self-actualization yeah, no, that's so true.
Speaker 4:And being aware of what you're doing, if you want to make a shift, you have to be aware that a shift needs to be made. Yeah, how I do it is through food. How I do, it is through food.
Speaker 2:How you do it is through food.
Speaker 4:How I do it, for me is through food. That's how I make my little shifts. Well, for example, a shift that I made that I applied it to other things is when I go to a restaurant I don't even look at the menu anymore is when I go to a restaurant, I don't even look at the menu anymore. I tell them that they've got $100, $50, $25, $200 to work with. Bring me the essence of the restaurant and I'm going to be okay with whatever you bring me. Now I apply that same aspect to other parts of my life.
Speaker 4:The routines that I have Do I need to brush my teeth first or can I do that last breaks it up a little bit. And also, if I want to, I don't think green is going to be a good color on me. I'm going to try green just to see why not. It helps apply the ability to get through the things that we don't think we like, and for me, it starts with food. It starts with me embracing all foods and all cultures within that, and so that's using that analysis and that analogy.
Speaker 2:I'm able to apply it to other aspects, so that's so fascinating to me at the restaurant telling them to give you the essence of the restaurant.
Speaker 4:Yes, that's part of what I do as a food critic. I don't want what. If I go there and order something I like, they're either going to nail it and then I'm biased, or they're going to mess it up and I'm biased, and then if they bring me something I don't personally like, it doesn't matter if I personally like it or not. Did they do a good job with preparing it? Did they hit this flavor profiles? And I can then say you know what, even if I don't like that texture, I can work through my dislike of the texture and grow. In that moment, maybe there I discover a texture I didn't like, or even ask myself why don't I like that texture?
Speaker 2:in that moment, maybe there, I discover a texture I didn't like or even ask myself why don't I like that texture? Okay, I really like that. Like work through your dislike or even becoming aware of why you don't like it well, yes, it goes back to self-awareness.
Speaker 4:And then you can get yourself off of playing on the chessboard and moving the pieces yourself.
Speaker 2:Okay, no, I think that's so important, Like working through some stuff we don't like. You know people. Nobody wants to do things or experience things they don't like, but part of it, some of it, is a part of life. You know, Absolutely. There's just mundane things, that with being a fucking human, that you're not going to every aspect of it, you know. So I really liked that you mentioned that. You know something I started doing God, I can't even remember now how long ago this was, but doing a cold plunge every morning like a cold shower, and now some days it's really long, Some days it's 30 seconds, but it's the consistency of some days. I fucking hate it. I really don't want, I'm not looking forward to it, but it's just that little. You know what you can do. Something you don't like, you don't want to do, that's just life. Life's not full of everything you want to do, you know.
Speaker 4:Absolutely. But if we can get through those things we don't like to do and make them a little bit better, yeah, our mindsets are going to be so much healthier it's so true.
Speaker 2:So how did you shift to start embracing even things you disliked?
Speaker 4:well, I realized I had an ethical responsibility just to myself, and whenever I decided to do food critiques and I'm not paid by a publication I wanted to give an honest and ultimately it's an opinion. But I wanted to do it in such a level that when I took a bite of something, you could close your eyes and read my words and be there right beside me. I wanted people to live vicariously through my experiences and I also looked at it like it was constructive criticism, so to speak. Whether good or bad, I'll leave that up to the reader. But to do that you have to really try and lower your subjectivity as much as possible and embrace all the incredible, the thousands of flavor, millions of flavor combinations out there, and be okay. Realizing even if I don't like it doesn't mean that this isn't an incredible bite of food.
Speaker 4:Last year I did the top 10 bites of food. White fish was in the top three because I broke free of what I. The reasons I didn't think I like white fish and the reasons I didn't think I like white fish were negative childhood experiences. I was discriminating against fish because of some bad childhood memories and I was denying myself incredible flavor combinations. Would I sit there and order white fish? Probably not, because I'm still internally have to think, okay, white fish over steak. But that's why I leave it up to the restaurant and I'm not going to hold it against them if they put snails in front of me. Bring those snails on, let's see how they taste.
Speaker 2:Wow, okay, I respect that.
Speaker 4:Do you have a favorite restaurant? Do you have one you go to?
Speaker 2:I like anything with chicken. Anyone that has chicken. Why Chicken's my favorite food?
Speaker 4:What's the place you've been to that has chicken?
Speaker 2:Not your average Joe's has chicken. I really like.
Speaker 4:Okay. Is that the only thing they have on their menu? No, do you order?
Speaker 2:the on their menu. No.
Speaker 4:You do order the chicken every time.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 4:Because it's your favorite thing.
Speaker 2:Yes, they actually have it where I can get it at as a meal or I can get the chicken on a sandwich. So I've done that once before.
Speaker 4:And did you like chicken growing up? I think so. What was the life event that you like chicken growing up? I think so. What was the life event that you really loved this chicken? What made? Your toes curl when you had this chicken. Something had to have happened where you order this chicken every time you go in there. What was that?
Speaker 2:At this specific place.
Speaker 4:Okay, it's just incredible chicken, and they do chicken better than anywhere else that you've had chicken.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Honestly yeah.
Speaker 4:So you go there rewarding yourself with the chicken.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I guess.
Speaker 4:Is there any opportunity that anything else on that menu tastes as good as that chicken? Maybe, maybe opportunity that anything else on that menu tastes as good as that chicken? Maybe you said that with a begrudging tone and facial expression. Are you sure that's just a maybe?
Speaker 2:I guess there probably is, but I really enjoy the chicken so you're resisting the suggestion, that's fine.
Speaker 4:You're really resisting the suggestion, that's fine. You're really resisting the suggestion Instead of just a maybe or probably it's a justification why we're not going to try anything else on the menu but the chicken, which is fine. Again, it's you, do you? But it's just what I'm saying is, maybe next time try something else. And then take the strength that you find to make that change and say you know what, this psychologist dude in the pink shirt All right, bring me the pork chop. And if you have that pork chop and you're like, oh my God, this pork chop is good, I want you to remember this moment. And then you take that strength to get outside of the chicken and apply that to another part of your life, outside of it.
Speaker 2:It all starts with some chicken. I have an obsession with chicken. I eat it every single day, multiple times a day. All right, why?
Speaker 4:I love chicken Okay.
Speaker 2:Where does that love and passion come from? Well, it's good for me. It is According to who there's protein in it. It helps me hit my protein.
Speaker 4:Okay.
Speaker 2:I cook it on the stove, so I don't put a lot of fried chicken. It's not fried. I make it myself, so I think it's pretty healthy. I use some avocado oil to spray the pan. I stick it on a pan. I put some hot sauce in it. I have some rice. Why don't you try some pork chop? I?
Speaker 4:don't eat pork. Is that a religious thing? No, is that a religious thing?
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 4:Is that an ethical thing? I don't know when was the last time you had pork Years. You think it just sounds disgusting?
Speaker 2:I heard somewhere that there's stuff in pork nowadays I don't know what, somewhere that there's stuff in pork nowadays. I don't know what, but there's stuff in pork nowadays.
Speaker 4:Would you like to talk about the stuff that's in chicken? No, okay. So all I'm saying is, maybe if you go to pork, if you grab some pork tenderloin, did you know? It has just about as much protein as chicken and it's just as lean as chicken. I'm iffy on the pork. You didn't hear anything bad about pork. Oh, I hear bad things about pork all the time. I also hear horrible things about cows and chickens. Do a Google search of Tyson chicken farms. Let me know what Tyson feeding feeding chickens. There's nothing wrong with it. I'm not criticizing, I'm just saying diversify your palate if you want to, but if you love chicken, don't let that passion go anywhere, because it works for you and you enjoy the chicken that's true, but I have resistance to trying other stuff.
Speaker 2:Should I not have resistance?
Speaker 4:what does resist? What does the resistance serve? What purpose does it serve? And, if you realize, the resistance puts up your wall and narrows your viewpoints of things it puts me back in the box, you said it, not me. And now the question is do you mind being in a box? A lot of people don't. Some people don't mind being in the box. If you don't mind being in a box, that you push yourself in there's nothing wrong with that.
Speaker 4:But if you want to open yourself up a little bit, if you want to broaden your horizons, what is the worst thing? This is a great. This is a great lesson. This is a great, just strategy. What's the worst thing you could have? What is the worst thing that could happen by swapping out for one dinner, the chicken with pork?
Speaker 2:I could get up. Whatever that disease is that people are getting from eating pork Tell me the disease?
Speaker 4:Are you eating the pork raw?
Speaker 2:No, I heard something that pork there's raw stuff in the pork industry and like why you shouldn't eat pork.
Speaker 4:I heard the earth was flat 500 years ago. I heard. As a matter of fact, I can Google that on the internet. There's some flat earthers right now.
Speaker 2:The fact that you said flat earther is so funny to me, because I dated a guy who was a flat earther, did he not like Park?
Speaker 4:even. No he didn't Just tell him to travel due north, or is it due south Travel north? Let me know when he falls off the map. Oh, that's rude, I'm sorry. You have your beliefs, good sir okay, I'm not finding the. Thing I know you're not finding the thing that you read from the conspiracy theoriescom. I get it, I understand I didn't?
Speaker 2:I heard it on some social media platform and I was like oh my god, I'm not eating pork again and I don't remember what it said.
Speaker 4:Hold on, let me see what's on Twitter.
Speaker 2:About there being some new ingredient now in pork. It was a recent thing, within recent years, because I was suddenly like I'm never eating pork again and I haven't had pork in two years eating pork again and I haven't had pork in two years.
Speaker 4:Breaking news biden contradicts kamala harris saying governor florida ron desantis is doing a great job in hurricane milton twitter listen, but no, but the thing about that. Think about what you just said there. Something resonated with you and hit your mindset. If you about it, look at your passion for chicken. That gave you the resolve and even more information to say fuck pork. So the advertisers did their job.
Speaker 2:They absolutely did.
Speaker 4:And if you're okay with that, enjoy your chicken.
Speaker 2:Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, what I'm just blown away over here. How so?
Speaker 4:You're the one discriminating against pork.
Speaker 2:I'm not discriminating. I thought, oh, now I'm finding fucking Bennett. Oh, bennett talks about hepatitis. You could get hepatitis from pork If you don't cook the pork.
Speaker 4:Well, here's another play. Since we're discriminating against pork, what about beef?
Speaker 2:I haven't eaten beef in a while.
Speaker 4:Is that because of mad cow disease? Well, you like chicken. What about the avian flu?
Speaker 2:I don't know what that is and, honestly, everyone in my life knows my obsession with chickens, so they haven't told me any of the things that go on with chickens and I just ignore the news and ignore anything that people talk about chickens. Huh, what is this movie you're talking about?
Speaker 4:I'm going to leave you at. Ignorance is bliss no, I want it no no, I want you to google salmonella and chicken you can get that if you don't cook it.
Speaker 2:But if you cook it all the way you, that doesn't happen huh, could have said the same thing about pork I didn't say the issue with pork. With salmonella, there's some type of disease I heard about. I just don't remember what the disease is. You are looking at me like I'm nuts I'm not looking at you like you're nuts.
Speaker 4:I'm looking at you like this is an interesting justification to prop up chicken and refuse to try something else.
Speaker 2:I don don't remember what it was I saw, but I heard I saw something negative on social media about pork, about some new ingredient that is now in pork. You didn't hear about that.
Speaker 4:I didn't go to social media to find my information. I wasn't looking for this information. I came across it randomly. No, you didn't come across it randomly. The algorithm probably fed you that because it resonated with you somehow that's fair, but it wasn't somebody I know that posted it.
Speaker 2:I never saw it again and there's a reason you didn't see it again.
Speaker 4:I'm not saying that pork doesn't have some things to it All of these proteins. I'm just saying that I love that. Your passion for chicken is wonderful. Stick with the chicken, stick with the chicken. We'll leave the pork alone. We'll leave the beef alone. Sounds like we'll leave fish alone too.
Speaker 2:I just can't really cook fish, so that's why that's not one of my main. Can you not eat pork? I? I could eat pork, but I can't because of that ingredient. But I don't know what the ingredients.
Speaker 4:So it's an ingredient, not a virus or a bacteria or a disease. I'm confused about so many things.
Speaker 2:I don't remember what it was specifically, but it was something in pork that this new thing that wasn't in pork previously but they were warning people about and I was like, oh shit, and it reinforced my belief on I'm only going to eat chicken once in a while Turkey. I throw some turkey in there with some variety. So I want to get into your book. When did you write your book? A Feast for the Senses? When did you write that?
Speaker 4:Feast for the Senses, the Psychological Art of Eating. Well, so I wrote that in March of this year and it is just. It starts off with talking about my story and my journey and where I came from, and then from there it goes into how I evolved and use food to explore aspects of life. I talk about personal bias, explicit bias, implicit bias, and how that shapes our world. And then I go into my food critiques and reviews, and I talk about that because I want the reviewer to a person reading to be able to sit there and enjoy these experiences with me. Then the end of my book talks about and include some recipes from my childhood, but also having an understanding of flavors, I was able to create some of the incredible dishes I had at restaurants right in my home. And then that is sort of where I wrap up the book, where it starts full circle. We start at home and we end at home, and the journey is everything in between.
Speaker 2:I like that. So what made you decide now? Now is when you wanted to write your book.
Speaker 4:Oh, so it was somewhat rejection. To be perfectly honest, I always had a story I wanted to tell about the weight loss, but as sort of writing and doing food influencer things, I reached out to a lot of publication to see if they'd be interested in my work. And none of the publications were interested in my work and so I was just like you know what, if no one wants to hire me because I'm honest, I'm not willing to do pay for play, I'm not going to give a good or bad, just I'm just going to critique what's out there. I'm just going to write a book, and that's what I did.
Speaker 2:Okay, wow, that's awesome. I love that. And so, in writing the book, I thought it was really important to detail my journey because I figured there was a lot of my message that would resonate with people and help people get through things in their lives. Now you wrote the book this year. You said you had the rejections from people not wanting to publish it. Did you attempt to publish a book?
Speaker 4:No. So I wanted to do be a food writer for a publication like the eater New York times, things like that, and that's where the rejection came. So instead of doing that, I decided to write a book and get my message out there in different ways.
Speaker 2:And now, when was that you tried writing for, like the New York Times and stuff?
Speaker 4:Well, I reached out to them to see if they were interested in being a food writer. You know, and here's the thing, oklahoma isn't big into the scene and it doesn't pay very well, so I tried doing that. Around December and January I reached out to the Eater Food Network, tulsa World the Oklahoman things like that. Eater Food Network Tulsa World the Oklahoman things like that.
Speaker 2:And so then, when that didn't pan out, you decided to write your own book. Yep, I love that. Again, we learn from our failures. What's so true Now? Did you previously think that you'd ever write a book?
Speaker 4:No.
Speaker 2:Really, no, really.
Speaker 4:No, just for a minute.
Speaker 2:So I'm curious just because you want to write for and do food critic for the New York Times or these other publications, where did it come into your head? I'm going to write my own book.
Speaker 4:Well, I wanted to put something out there. So it's a conglomeration of stories from my childhood and then just food reviews. So it was already things I was doing, naturally, and I really thought to myself you know what, why not get in the message out there through a book? I'd have complete creative control of it. It's something that I could do myself, my friends would read it and maybe other people would be interested in it, and it was a great creative outlet that I didn't think I would do and people always encouraged me to write before.
Speaker 2:So what would you say is the biggest thing you learned from writing your book?
Speaker 4:Never hire a vanity publisher.
Speaker 2:Why.
Speaker 4:It never ends well. I signed on so I wanted to keep it. Keeping everything local was super important to me, so I was originally going to self-publish on amazon kbp and I then reached out on social media and to see about doing local publishing. And I found a local publisher and they asked for several thousand dollars up front, including marketing and media, and I signed with them and paid them and it turned out to be a nightmare. They did not do a professional job. The book was poorly printed, they were miserable to work with. They didn't understand search engine optimization. They didn't understand A-plus content. They didn't understand search engine optimization. They didn't understand A-plus content. They didn't understand proper marketing. And I had to fight hard to get out of that contract. But I was out all of that money, and so what I realized in the end was if you could try and do it yourself and I became a better person for it.
Speaker 4:But it was an expensive lesson. That is tough, it happens, and so I will always say this to people invest in yourself. If you spend other money for people to invest in you, there's no incentive for them to invest in you. Once the publisher had my money, what was the incentive for them to do anything but publish on Amazon. They published the book like they said they would, but it wasn't like a big five. All they did was use the same program that I would have done on my own. I paid them a lot of money to do it. That was the harshest lesson.
Speaker 2:That must. That's crazy. But, as you said, we learn from now. In the book you talk about the five senses in terms of food. I'd love if you could delve down that a little bit.
Speaker 4:Taste is impacted by touch, sight, smell, hearing, everything it all plays together, especially your olfactory senses, your smell, and it all impacts how you taste and it even goes into a psychological level. For example, if you go into a restaurant and it's cold, you have an immediate response and your body is not enjoying itself. So your taste buds are going to be restricted because in the back of your mind you're thinking about the temperature, not the food. The same thing goes if you go into a loud restaurant and you hear it, you visual it's all cluttered. Your anxiety spikes. Well then your taste buds are dull because you're focused on your anxiety, not so much of the food or the experience. You're setting yourself up for failure and sort of. That's where why I talk about the senses and being aware of the senses, but then being aware of yourself that if you understand those spikes are coming, come up with strategies you can do to lower that anxiety and enjoy the experience that much more I love that.
Speaker 2:It makes so much sense. You know, like the other senses impacting, like you mentioned it it being cold, it being loud, it being, whatever have you, if it's affecting one of these other senses, it's gonna likely impact how it tastes to you, impact how it psychologically feels to you.
Speaker 4:And then here's the thing is if you didn't have a good time, you're going to tell your friends you didn't have a good time in the restaurant stuff. But really it was your own bias and your own issues that caused you not to have a good experience. The bigger question is what can we do to make the experience better for yourself next time?
Speaker 2:I love that. How can we make it better the next time? That's a great question to. I love that. How can we make it better the next time? That's a great question to become aware of. You know everything is tying it back into being aware of it.
Speaker 4:It really is.
Speaker 2:I am so fascinated with all of this. Well, thank you so much for speaking with me. I really appreciate it.
Speaker 4:Thank you so much for having me on. This has been a wonderful opportunity. This has been such a great conversation. Thank you so much.
Speaker 2:I'm so grateful, Of course. Thank you. Now have you heard of a man named Jay Shetty.
Speaker 4:I have not.
Speaker 2:So he's a motivational speaker author. He's got a podcast Podcast is called On Purpose, and he ends it with two segments and I've incorporated those into mine because I love them. Okay, first segment is called the many sides to us. There's five questions and each question needs to be answered in one word. All right, what is one word someone who was meeting you for the first time would use to describe you as?
Speaker 4:Overwhelming.
Speaker 2:What is one word that someone who knows you extremely well would use to describe you as?
Speaker 4:Iconoclastic.
Speaker 2:What is one word you'd use to describe yourself Evolving? To describe yourself Evolving, what is one word that, if someone didn't like you or agree with your mindset, would you use to describe yourself? What is one word that you're embodying right now?
Speaker 4:Calm.
Speaker 2:Second segment is the final five, and these can be answered in up to a sentence. What is the best advice you've heard or received?
Speaker 4:It is okay to forgive yourself when you fail.
Speaker 2:Why was that the best advice?
Speaker 4:Because we focus so much on our failures and we don't let them go, we don't learn from them and we punish ourselves for those failures and it's okay to fail and it's okay to know that just means it's an opportunity for success later.
Speaker 2:I love that Reframing that, an opportunity for success later. What is the worst advice you've heard or received?
Speaker 4:She loves you Because she didn't. Louis Vuitton canvas products.
Speaker 2:He was a good person. If you could describe what you would want your legacy to be, as if someone was reading it, what would you want it to say?
Speaker 4:He was a good person.
Speaker 2:If you could create one law in the world that everyone had to follow, what would it be? And I want to know why.
Speaker 4:Liars will receive some sort of monetary punishment. Why? The truth, while it hurts, is better than any lie, in my opinion, and I think so much harm is done from lies and misinformation and we hide behind the guise of well, I can say anything I want with impunity. Our freedom of speech and our freedom to get our thoughts out is one of the greatest things, and if we use it in an abusive way, that angers me on every level I understand that well.
Speaker 2:Thank you for speaking with me. I really appreciate it. And now, where can the listeners connect with you? They want to get in touch.
Speaker 4:Absolutely so. I'm on Facebook, instagram and TikTok at JaredGleatonEats. I'm on LinkedIn YouTube at JaredGleaton and I also have wwwJaredGleatonEatscom. If you're interested in my book, it's on Amazon audiobook hard copy ebook. Jared Gleaton A Feast for the Senses the Psychological Art of Eating Well.
Speaker 2:Awesome. I will link all of that in the show notes for you guys to click directly and no pressure. But I do like to leave final words to the guest. Any final words of wisdom for the listeners?
Speaker 4:Life's a great adventure. It's just. Life is a great adventure and we focus so much on the negative in our life. It's okay to take a moment to be happy and take a moment to treat your inner child to something wonderful a laugh, a joke, a good bite of food and always remember that your life, you get to define your life and you get to define your actions and define who you are, Not society, not Taylor Swift, no one else you do. And what an incredible power that is to have the power of you.
Speaker 2:I love that Well, thank you so much. I really appreciate it.
Speaker 4:I appreciate your time.
Speaker 2:I appreciate yours as well, and thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of Mander's Mindset.
Speaker 3:In case no one told you today, I'm proud of you, I'm booting for you and you got this as always. If you enjoyed the show, I would really appreciate it if you would leave me a five star rating, leave a review and share it with anyone you think would benefit from this. And don't forget you are only one mindset. Shift away from shifting your life. Thanks guys, Until next time.
