Manders Mindset
Hosted by Amanda Russo, The Breathing Goddess, who is a Breathwork Detox Facilitator, Transformative Mindset Coach, and Divorce Paralegal.
Amanda's journey into mindset and empowerment began by working with children in group homes and daycares. She later transitioned to family law, helping people navigate the challenging emotions of divorce. During this time, Amanda also overcame her own weight and health challenges through strength training, meditation, yoga, reiki, and plant medicine.
Amanda also shares her personal journey, detailing how she transformed obstacles into opportunities by adopting a healthier, holistic lifestyle.
Discover practical strategies and inspiring stories that will empower you to break free from limitations and cultivate a mindset geared towards growth and positivity.
Tune in for a fun, friendly, and empowering experience that will help you become the best version of yourself.
Manders Mindset
86: Discovering Forgiveness & Inner Wisdom Through Ceremonial Cacao with Ashley Ann Pereira
What if stepping out of your comfort zone could lead to profound personal transformation?
Join us in this powerful episode of the Manders Mindset Podcast, where we welcome Ashley Ann Pereira, a guide for spiritual awakening. Ashley shares her incredible journey from a tumultuous childhood marked by her father's absence and her mother's resilience to adulthood struggles, including the tragic loss of a cousin and a life-changing car accident. Through her raw and heartfelt storytelling, discover how a pivotal conversation with her mother catalyzed her healing journey, transforming her anger and bitterness into empowerment and growth.
This episode is a treasure trove of insights on living a life without regrets. Amanda and Ashley explore the significance of reconnecting with estranged loved ones and stepping out of your comfort zone, inspired by Ashley’s transformative trip to Nicaragua. Learn about the importance of taking small steps towards personal goals, the necessity of self-care, and practical strategies for overcoming distractions in our hyper-connected world. Ashley’s stories illustrate the profound lessons that come from confronting the specter of death and embracing incremental progress toward inner wisdom and guidance.
Delve into the world of unconventional spiritual practices as Ashley details her experiences with ceremonial grade cacao and a 16-day dieta that deepened her connection with her inner self. She opens up about the powerful role of forgiveness, especially towards her father, and how storytelling can forge meaningful connections. This episode is packed with heartfelt stories, wisdom, and practical advice for anyone on a path of personal growth.
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Welcome to the Manders Mindset Podcast. Here you'll find both monologue and interviews of entrepreneurs, coaches, healers and a variety of other people when your host, Amanda Russo, will discuss her own mindset and perspective and her guest's mindset and perspective on the world around us. Manders and her guests will help explain to you how shifting your mindset will shift your life.
Speaker 2:Hello, beautiful souls, Welcome back to another episode of Amanda's Mindset. I'm your host, Amanda Russo, and I am here today with Ashley Ann Pereira, and she is a guide for those on a spiritual awakening journey who are ready to break generational cycles. She is a multi-passionate soul, here to be a portal of love and expansion. She's the co-founder of the Studio Press, where she guides soulpreneurs and spiritual leaders to turn their teachings into a book teachings into a book. She's also the host of the podcast show Beyond the Surface, where she dives into conversations with guests who share stories, wisdoms, teachings and experiences to help us on our soul's evolution, healing and growth. And I am here with Ashley today. Thank you so much for joining me.
Speaker 3:Thank you, love. I'm so honored and excited to see where this conversation goes Me too.
Speaker 2:So that's an amazing bio, but who would you say Ashley is at the core.
Speaker 3:My essence. This is something funny enough that I've been really exploring a lot lately of just like what is my true essence, what's beneath all of these things that we do? And I think to my core I'm someone who really loves to explore, and I mean that from the lens of like exploring myself, exploring who is it that I am and who I'm meant to be, and the layers behind all of that. There's like one piece of that as to my essence, and then the other side of my essence that I see is that I'm an activator, in ways I activate people to step into more of who they are and to really use their voice, and that's where the book and the speaking and whatnot comes from. But those are like the two pieces of my essence.
Speaker 2:Okay, that's beautiful. Can you take us down memory lane? Tell us a little bit about your childhood, upbringing, family dynamic where you grew up. However deep you want to take that, yeah.
Speaker 3:Well, this is such a story that I share so often I love going into these pieces and these layers, but I come from a single parent household. So my mom raised me and my sisters my two older sisters and so my normal genuinely as a child was us four. That was normal for me. My dad wasn't really around. He actually lived, so I'm from Canada, he was actually living in the States and there was no set consistency, I guess you could say for lack of better words in terms of seeing each other or even communication, so it was just a here and there. There were definitely these beautiful moments that I remember of, like vacations and whatnot, but for the most part it was really just my mom and my sisters. And I witnessed my mom struggle, and by struggle I mean just working three jobs and that struggle to keep a roof over our heads and to put food on the table. And what I love to say is, oftentimes I feel like what that would look like is, you know, absence, but somehow, in some way, my mom still never made me feel like she wasn't around, like it. Somehow she was truly like the super mom. She managed to really just be there in any way possible that she could. But I was the baby of the family and so my sisters were such a big role for me as well. That was us single parent and I didn't realize the impact of what that meant until much later, I would say like when I became an adult and going through that late teenage years. But I remember this like one instance in elementary school when we had like parent-teacher nights. I remember for the first time I don't know how old I was, but recognizing that there was something different about my upbringing and my household, because I saw all my friends with their parents, both mom and dad in the homes and I didn't really see much of people who didn't have that. So there was moments where I was like, oh, that's different and I kind of envy my friends who have a dad in their life and I didn't have that, and so that was definitely like a big, interesting part.
Speaker 3:And it wasn't until much later where, in about 2006, we lost someone in my family and it was like my first experience with death and it was my cousin who had passed tragically and unfortunately he was only 20 years old. But he's also such a big part of my journey. It was just something so unexpected. Right, when someone's older and they get to that place and they're sick, it's different. But then when tragedy hits and it's just something unexpected and you see someone who passes at such an early age, it hits you and it hit our family hard and eventually my dad moved back to Canada and I was kind of thinking well, this is it, this is our opportunity to have this relationship, to have this bond, to have my dad in my life, and I was surprised that it just didn't happen right away and of course I would see him, but I just didn't have that still.
Speaker 3:And then, fast forwarding 2010, I get into a car accident where I was hit by a car while crossing the street, and I think that's such a pivotal moment in my journey and healing because it was the experience that changed me for a period of time into a person who was very bitter and angry just because of the response that I did not get from my dad, just like the lack of care, the lack of just checking in, the lack of like love that you would expect in a moment like that. And it wasn't until probably around a year later where my mom, I had this moment with my mom and she was like, ashley, you don't have to hate the world. And it was in that moment where I was like I don't even know who I've become with all this anger and hatred and bitterness that I was harboring and holding onto towards specifically my dad, and it started my healing in the sense of writing him a letter and then actually having this conversation, and it was such a pivotal moment to be able to really voice my truth to my dad, because I was that person that never voiced my feelings whatsoever. I could be in a conversation with someone I specifically remember this relationship that I was in and having an argument and kind of talking to me, and I was silent, like there was just nothing coming out of me. And so, finally, when I was able to express to my dad how I was feeling and just like put it out on the table, it transformed everything and started like this beautiful healing journey and a new chapter in my relationship with my dad, and that was just like the starting point of everything.
Speaker 2:So were you close with your sisters growing up.
Speaker 3:Yeah, like very close. We've always been close. Yeah, they were like my second moms too, like they helped raise me right being the baby of the family. Yeah, me and my sisters were always so super close.
Speaker 2:Now, that's awesome that you said your mom didn't make you feel like she wasn't there, because I think that's a big thing. You know, I grew up in a single parent household as well, with my mom, and it was just her and I didn't have any siblings, but we lived with my grandparents like co parents. I'm fortunate in that I didn't spend a siblings, but we lived with my grandparents like co-parents. I'm fortunate in that I didn't spend a lot of time with a babysitter or a random person as opposed to my grandparents, but I definitely felt the effects of times when she wasn't there. Different things she missed out on. So but that's that's amazing that she was able to, even with working three jobs.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and you know what? I think my sisters being there and having my siblings probably also play a big role, because I had them to lean on to, but there were, like I was in extracurricular things right, like I had played basketball in elementary school and softball, and it's like she might not have been at every single game, but I remember her being there and so, yeah, I just I think about it too and I don't know how she did it. I genuinely don't, and I also am grateful too. I had a similar experience where, thankfully, my grandparents were here too and they also kind of stepped in as babysitters, and so did my sister, and so you know, it's such a beautiful thing it takes a village to raise a child and we can be so blessed and fortunate when we really just see that too.
Speaker 2:That's so true and I love how you say it takes a village and we can be fortunate when we see that. Because I had a lot of mixed feelings. Some was that meant how would my life have been different had I had my father in my life? We had no relationship. I didn't meet him till I was 26. One of my best friends said to me Amanda, if you had a relationship with him and you saw him more often, you would have saw your grandparents less, just realistically, because there's only so much time.
Speaker 2:And I was like that's an interesting way to look at it. And you know, like my grandma was the closest person in the world to me, like she's passed away now, but I couldn't have imagined not getting to be as close with her. And I was even closer with her than some of the other grandkids and I brag that I'm the favorite because I lived with her for 15 years. You know I saw her every day. So, like mom's at work, I'm with her. The other kids might not see her before school, I do, you know. So it's that little perspective shift.
Speaker 3:Totally. And you know what, what I love that you share that too. Because of the circumstance, right, because of my mom, I was very much a lot closer with my mom's parents than I was with my dad's parents. The relationship that I have with my grandmother or had I kind of look at it now she's also passed, but I look at it as just like our relationship is just different, but she's very much one of my guides that I know is so very close and I call on her and I have that relationship with her and it's like, would I have that if things were different?
Speaker 3:And I remember having this conversation with this energetic healer and she pointed something out and it's always stuck with me that my dad, he played out the exact role that he was supposed to play.
Speaker 3:Like, we all have our own karmic patterns, right, we all have these soul contracts and my dad fulfilled his contract. And I was like, wow, that is such a powerful thing because had he not, everything would have been everything. Sometimes I think about it as like, are we just being super positive and just trying to negate and not look at the things that we genuinely experienced? But I don't know, I just like going through that and, being on this other side, like I can't see it from any other perspective than a perspective of love. At the end of the day, yes, I'm grateful that I was able to have this experience with my dad. Now, of course and I know that not everyone gets that opportunity but it's like if you look at your life like a puzzle, if you take out one puzzle piece, it's missing, like it's not complete, right. So it's like how do you take out a moment or something that's happened? And it's just always given me perspective when I think about it like that.
Speaker 2:I love that analogy. I've heard a bunch of people talk about like, oh, if this didn't happen, you wouldn't be the same, but like I've never heard the puzzle piece. Oh no, I love that. But so true though, like you wouldn't, we wouldn't be the same people we are. I think there's a difference. I don't think it's necessarily like the false positive, because it's true in some retrospect, you know, even like my best friend had mentioned, she's like logistically, and she was even like if you were forced to see him every other weekend, you wouldn't have been with your grandparents. That's a lot of typical others, you know, and it's true. I likely wouldn't have had the relationship that I have with my grandparents had I not seen them as much, you know. So it's just like taking that step back and thinking about okay, maybe this situation isn't my favorite situation, maybe I don't love it, but if it was different, everything else would be different and even the things that I do love I might not have.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's exactly. It's just a shift in perspective. That's ultimately what it is, and I think what I look at too is it's a shift in perspective towards the lens of love and coming from a place of love, because if we take that even deeper too, we could look at it from the angle of okay, well, what were our dads experiencing at the time in their lives when they had children? What was going on in their lives and they were also early 20s? Right, and I just have so much compassion, right, like, of course, yes, he made the choices that he made. We can't change that. But am I going to replay over and over again until I die? That's the story that I'm going to.
Speaker 3:Just essentially banish him or make him regret or make him be at fault for all of that has not the life that I want to live and it's also not the story that I want to have with my dad. I think we have to look at that. What do you actually want? Because if the thing is that you desire that and you want that in your life, whether it be talking about this relationship with our dad, if you have the opportunity, why wouldn't you do what you can to try and harness that. Like I would live with regret had my dad passed away and I just never took that step and always would think, well, what if I did this right and if I didn't have a relationship with him, I also wouldn't have a relationship with now my little brother and sister that he had after him and my mom Right, Like I wouldn't have that. So it's just like it's choosing I know this sounds so cliche, but it's choosing love Like that's what it ultimately is.
Speaker 2:Like that's what it ultimately is. I love how you mentioned you didn't want to have regret if you would have passed away, because that is exactly what went through my head when I reached out to my father, because I called him out of the blue, randomly on a Tuesday night, star 67. So he wouldn't even see the phone number. But he didn't answer and I left a five minute voice message introducing myself. I left my phone number and ultimately that's what I was thinking to myself he's made his mistakes, he's done what he's done. I have my feelings.
Speaker 2:But here's the thing like everybody tells me, oh, you're so young, but you know, once somebody said to me once you know, manda, you're really young, but you're not getting any younger. That's the youngest you will ever be for the rest of your life. And it's like freak stuff happens all the time. I don't know what tomorrow brings. I don't know that something's not going to happen to me. I don't know that something's not going to happen to him and I didn't want to look back at the end of my life. Some people think this is morbid, but like I never had met him, never had known him, you know, if I reached out and he didn't want to talk to me. Fine, I can say I did what I could do. I don't want to look back and be like damn, I wish I would have reached out. I wished I would have done. X, y, z Regrets a bitch.
Speaker 3:I love that. Regrets a xyz, regrets a bitch. I love that regrets a bitch, totally. And I think if there's any else like any, I don't care how small it is, but if there is something that you ask yourself, would I regret, fill in the blanks, not doing this? There is any tiny little whisper of yeah, I would regret this. Please, do the thing, whatever that is. Reach out to the person. Do the thing whatever that is. Reach out to the person. Do the thing.
Speaker 3:What do you have to lose? Going back to my first experience, death and has that's why I say it's not morbid, because death to me is something that has been such an incredible teacher and has given me so much wisdom, and, of course, I would love to have the people that I've lost here physically. Unfortunately, death is a part of life. No one can change that. So I use it and I just look at it from that lens of how can this teach me? And one of the biggest things is just recognizing that one day is not a day of the week, and I learned that from my after my grandmother passed. I was like I've got nothing to lose here. I can't wait for anything realistically, and that's where I really started to think about the things that I was telling myself, oh, one day I'm gonna do this, one day I'm gonna do that. I was like hell, no, fuck that. Like what am I waiting for? And I was, oh god, I can't even remember how old I was, how old was I, I don't know, but like early 20s, and I was just like what. I can't even remember how old I was, how old was I, I don't know, but like early 20s. And I was just like what am I waiting for, honestly, and that's what.
Speaker 3:Like two months after my grandmother passed away, one of the big dreams and goals that I had was I wanted to go and volunteer abroad. And after my grandmother passed away and I had this wake up call, I was like, okay, I'm doing the thing. And my mom was like hell, no, my mom was like absolutely, you are not going. I don't think now is the right time. And I was like, well, mom, we got to find a compromise. I'm not going to go to Kenya, although that's like still the dream and the goal, I really want to go to Kenya. And she was like I don't think so. And I was like, okay, how about something? Central America? How about we do that? We found a middle ground. So I was two months to the day of my grandmother passing away, or two or three months.
Speaker 3:I was on a plane going to Nicaragua and that was such a moment for me to just recognize I don't have to wait, I'm not young, I don't care what anyone says. Some people will say you're too young to do this. Don't listen to that. How was Nicaragua? Oh my gosh, it was like again sounds cliche life-changing moment, like coming back. I remember coming back and I remember this. I think it was like that next morning that I woke up, being back at home after two weeks being in Nicaragua. And I remember this. I think it was like that next morning that I woke up, being back at home after two weeks being in Nicaragua, and I was just a simple thing of I was brushing my teeth using the running water from my tap and I was just like so emotional because I was like I'm able to do this and it puts things into perspective. But it was just a beautiful experience that I had and I, yeah, I just it was so activating in so many ways wow, that's amazing.
Speaker 2:I love how you said one day is not a day of the week, yep.
Speaker 3:I coined that. That's been my quote to follow.
Speaker 2:I love that. I'm like very big on quotes and you can tell me you want some, you're going through whatever, and I say I can give you a quote in like 30 seconds on that and you'll feel better. It's crazy, but I've heard like one day or day one, but like we like that One day is not a day of the week, it's so true though. You know, I say that with a lot of things. I have a fitness journey where I lost over 70 pounds and it's like everybody's like how to do it. It's like you got to just do something. You got to do something. Doing nothing gets you nowhere, you know, and it's like you could do all the things, but that's that overwhelmed the fuck out of me. So I started with one thing, but if you don't start, you're going to be in the same spot some type of small step.
Speaker 3:You know and, and how fitting that can. The simplest thing can apply to every single aspect of our lives. Whether you are an entrepreneur, you have a business, whatever, whatever that looks like, one simple little thing. I don't know what the quote is, maybe you know it, but you know that quote about something about movement and motion, and I can't remember what it is right now, anyways, but it reminded me of it. Just something about like being stagnant.
Speaker 2:But you know, if you're not moving, you're standing still, basically. If you're not moving, you're standing still, basically if you're not taking some type of step yeah, it's done.
Speaker 3:And I think what happens? Right, we overwhelm ourselves thinking about because you mentioned that be doing all the things. We overwhelm ourselves with that, and then what happens? We procrastinate because we're so overwhelmed because we don't even know where to start, and I think that is doing such a disservice to us, because then we're almost getting overwhelmed and being inundated with like, oh, I can do this and oh, I can try that.
Speaker 3:How about, for a moment, after you have all these options and these choices laid out in front of you, whether it be fitness journey, starting a business, starting a podcast, you have all these options that are laid out right? How about, instead of saying, okay, I have to do this, how about, instead, taking a moment and a pause and really checking in with yourself and saying, but what feels really good for me right now, in this moment? What's that first step that I need to take right now, in this moment? Okay, and that is like the golden little missing piece. That's the thing that we don't do, because we don't have necessarily that relationship with ourselves, or maybe we don't have that trust in ourselves to be able to know that we're actually going to be given the guidance internally. We don't need the guidance from the external sources that are coming from all over.
Speaker 2:That's so true. I love how you said take a moment and pause. I talk about that all the time and, as my listeners know, in terms of breathwork, but even outside of a freaking breathwork, we are so busy and going and going and we have we're constantly on the go, have all these things that are grabbing our attention, from phones to kids to everything. It's constant, so it's so hard to hear ourselves and what we want. Like so many people don't know. They don't even know how they're feeling. It's just a natural. I'm good, how are you?
Speaker 3:It's kind of scary, if you think about it, that you don't even know how you're feeling or what you want. That is scary stuff. And to think that you're just going with the motions and it's probably from a lens being projected on from either a mentor or what society told you things had to look like. And that's kind of been my space. And honestly, talk about taking a moment to pause, but also slowing down for as long as you need so that you can come back to your own truth of what is it that I want to do? What do I want my life to look like? Who do I want to be?
Speaker 3:We don't sit with these questions. We're so free to sit with this or pause and take the time, because we're so busy, we have so many things on the go and we're not making that time for ourselves. We're not making that time for us to check in with ourselves. To nurture ourselves doesn't make sense, is like how are we giving to everybody else? And it's all coming from an empty cup, right? But imagine what would happen if you filled your own cup first and how much more of service you would be. Whatever that looks like, right, if you're a mother, if you're a father, if you're running a business and you're helping clients like no matter what, serving yourself first and filling your own cup up first, knowing yourself, trusting yourself to foundation.
Speaker 2:That we're unfortunately not taught but so true, yeah, any tips for people to step away from all the go-go right?
Speaker 3:we heal all the time like pause I think one of the biggest things that I did for myself as someone who? So one of the things that I know about myself, as I said, like I'm an explorer, so I love like astrology, I from human design specifically is that I have these open centers, my head and my asana. I'm open here, and so the reason I bring this up is because I'm always constantly being inundated. I could be scrolling and so much inspiration is coming through. I'm like ooh this, ooh that, ooh this, and not all of it is actually meant for me, but I can just get so distracted by everything that's going on, and so one of the biggest things for me that I had to do was actually I mean, unfortunately, social media is just a part of the world and business and whatnot I had to go and either unfollow or simply mute a lot of the people that I looked up to and aspired to be, and we're talking like I love Marie Forleo, don't follow her on Instagram or anything.
Speaker 3:I had to stop the consumption. I had to stop consuming everything because I wasn't able to hear myself, I didn't trust myself enough. I was constantly in this loop of investing into the next thing, investing into the next thing, and I was in this loop, coming from a place of lack, because I simply thought I was in the space of well, they have the answers. This is gonna fulfill. This is gonna be the answer. This is gonna be the thing. It's gonna answer this problem that I'm trying to solve.
Speaker 3:And it didn't Stop investing in all these different things, stop investing into all the different mentors, stop hearing and being inundated and actually create that space to hear yourself. And so that was such a big part of my journey. And then, naturally, I was introduced or really started to experience cacao and being in cacao ceremonies, and that, just like, added this layer and this depth to ultimately just creating a space for myself to actually connect with myself. So I am very intentional about my mornings in the sense that I really use it, even if it's five minutes or it could be an hour. It's going to change every single day, but that time is for me to really connect back to myself.
Speaker 3:And it's become the most incredible thing, like going to the gym, having my cup of cacao and just silence, or just like doing a meditation, like it looks so different because every single day I'm now hey, what do I need today? Hey, what's really calling me? Is it like to go for a walk today instead? Like, what does that look like? And so just that intentional space in the morning, space in the morning has allowed me to come back to that innate wisdom and that innate GPS that I have inside myself. I'm more productive because I'm not being so inundated, the ideas that are coming feel so true, and then I'm taking the action with them, like everything just feels so aligned. Because I'm constantly coming back to myself like, hey, okay, what is this Like? Sometimes the idea even that comes through is not fully developed. Okay, let's just create the space for it. And so that has been like one of the things that really changed and allowed me to just come back to that trust in myself.
Speaker 2:Okay, I had a guest on the podcast, ada, and she had mentioned that to me. Even if it's past friends or past connections you had, at one point you might be a new version of yourself and it could be negatively impacting you in ways you might not even realize Something I even thought about. You might not have even had a falling out with these people if it's people you know, but maybe you are in a different space of life. Person social media is such a big thing, but there's also a way to make your social media positively affect you more than it negatively affect you A hundred percent.
Speaker 3:And you know, one of the interesting things that has come, or just this like interesting aha, like observer moment that I had of myself was a couple of weeks ago. I kind of just did this like daily it was meant to be daily live videos and Monday came around. Everything was planned Like I knew exactly what I kind of wanted to focus on. Monday came around and I felt this very strange feeling around going live. Something felt very uncomfortable for me. I have been in the realm of social media for like a decade. Going live is not new to me at all, so this was a new feeling and experience for me. I was like what's happening right now, like this is weird. And so I was like, okay, well, I'm still going to commit to what I wanted to do, I'm just going to record them. I'm going to record it and then I'm going to post it. All good, but it was just very interesting to observe what was coming through.
Speaker 3:And I think one of the biggest things is there also is this piece around who is following us, not just necessarily like the impact of who we are following, but also like who is following you. I have you know on my social media. Just, I've always kind of danced. This was a big kind of story for me or maybe just like a journey that I've had to walk through is that I've always felt like I've had not split personalities, but like I had to be two different people.
Speaker 3:There was the old Ashley, and then there was Ashley, who is spiritual, and that layer of this spirituality that has come through over the last couple of years has felt a little uncomfortable to be fully seen in that space, and so that's a big thing that has come through and that's been a thing that I've had to get comfortable with and mindful of. And I don't have the solution there yet because I just don't. But it is very interesting and I think it's just something that you notice and you pay attention and you also really sit with like how can I be all of who I am? And I think that's just an acceptance piece. Right, that's my own work. It's not about anyone else, it's not about people from high school who follow me because they could care less, to be honest, they could care less about what Ashley is doing.
Speaker 2:But yeah, it's just like an interesting walk that I'm currently in right now, okay, so what's the other side, other than the spiritual side, of Ashley?
Speaker 3:Well, I think it's just like who I was right, like before becoming someone who was spiritual. Like people have known that I've been very much like the motivation, the inspiring, because I've been doing speaking engagements and I had my book that came out and that's been like the last 10 years but that was like kind of what it was like Ashley, the motivation, inspirational talk about love, that kind of thing, and that was who I am. And now there's like this, just other layer of me that's unfolding where, yeah, I just like the spiritual that's what it comes back to is I never was a spiritual person, like I didn't have this relationship that I do so, like talking about guides and ancestors, is like I feel safe to do that literally in my room right now, like in my office, like that's where I feel safe to do it. That's just just interesting noticing.
Speaker 2:No, I relate to that because prior I don't even know exactly when it started, but I haven't always been the spiritual type person I am.
Speaker 2:Even I want to say four or five years ago I had never meditated Exactly and I even had a boyfriend who was very spiritual, very into all of that and introduced me to so much and I remember I was like meditating doesn't work. And he's like you've got, you've been here for like 10 seconds and I'm like it doesn't work, you know. So like it's, it's transition, almost transitioning that identity, like I used to be this, like go, like fitness gym guru, I'm up early in the morning, which I still am to some aspects of that, but like I wasn't mindful, like taking a deep breath, what the fuck you mean take a deep breath? I didn't take a deep breath before, before anything. So it's interesting to see. You know, I've even had I had like an old friend reach out to me and they were like the breathing goddess, I would have never guessed. And I'm like like I had like an old friend reach out to me and they were like the breathing goddess, I would have never guessed.
Speaker 3:And I'm like like I know, and it's just interesting, right, the weight or the meaning that we give to these like labels of who we are right, and it's like what if we just get to be right? What if we just get to be all of it, but for some reason, like we don't feel safe being all of who we are.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, I love that. Like why can't multiple identities exist? Like why can't you be the spiritual meditator who is also like the gym badass, you know? Like they can exist together. I talk about this comparison because it's mostly been internet trolls that don't even know me, but my username everywhere is the breathing goddess. It became more popular than I expected it to, but I posted last October when I went to this pumpkin bong event and different people saying to me the breathing goddess smokes weed. How is marijuana good for breath work and all that. Like wow, they exist together. Like that's my comparison, because I had I got at least like four messages from people I don't follow and I have never spoken to about the breathing goddess smokes weed.
Speaker 3:Yeah, she does, yeah it's the polarities, right, and I think it's also and and this is where, you know, I had a conversation with someone on the podcast and I just I'm reminded of like what she said in this moment too, is, you know, it's uncomfortable because we're walking. We're literally walking paths that people haven't walked before, like that's why it feels uncomfortable, that's why there's fear is because you are walking a new path and being all of it is a little scary. It is a little like like uncomfortable because, at the end of the day, I'm like stereotyping in a sense too right, but I'm just gonna say it for just the context, in the sense of like a lot of spiritual people in the community, right, where I see that are hosting ceremonies, like even down to like the types of clothes that they wear, right, it's very just like feminine and flow and dresses and loose, and I'm just like that doesn't even feel comfortable for me and I'm like, oh then, am I not spiritual? The labels and the identities and what we associate things with, and I think it's just like an invitation to question what that is right, question all of it, question all of it. And I think we don't question things enough.
Speaker 3:But, yeah, just invite yourself to question things like even just down to the identities that you're and the meaning that you're attaching to the things that you say that you are. Like, what does it mean? And also, who are you without those labels? Because that also is a big part of it, too, right? That's where we begin to experience these midlife crisis is when we start to feel like, okay, who I've been no longer is who I am, and it's because we've attached so much meaning. Right? It's like when you see parents who, all of a sudden, have the empty nest. Their entire life and their being has been devoted to their children and we experienced this moment, this crumbling of like, well, who am I? Who am I without this? And I think it's just this opportunity and again this invitation to kind of explore that who are you without all the different labels that you say that you are? Who are you to your core and are you happy with that?
Speaker 2:I like how you brought up clothes, because I've actually I've never talked about this on the podcast, but I have a lot of I call them interesting shirts that just say different sayings. One is I match energy, so how are we going to act? One is my ex hates my guts because he couldn't reach them. So they're funny, but like a spiritual community community, you've got mixed feelings on them, but I'm like you know what, life's short, I'm gonna wear the funny shirt. You know the duality. It can all exist together. It can all be. I relate to the flowiness of the spiritual clothes but honestly, not until I went to Bali and I tried some Bali pants on. I get it. Even if you don't have one part of the identity, whether it's clothes, whether it's whatever, doesn't mean you can't identify as that. Yeah, exactly, I love that. I do want to backtrack a little bit. I know you mentioned your daily morning routines and you mentioned cacao. Can you explain what cacao is?
Speaker 3:yeah, so cacao is a master plant medicine and I mean, when we think of cacao, we think of chocolate and way before chocolate was ever found, we have cacao as this beautiful pod looking thing and it has the beans and from the beans is where chocolate comes from, and the Western world has created chocolate and put all this sweetening stuff to its core. Cacao is this beautiful master plant medicine and you know, if you are familiar with ayahuasca, I feel like that's what a lot of people are familiar with in terms of plant medicines. Cacao is also a master plant medicine.
Speaker 3:The difference here is what you're probably familiar with in terms of ayahuasca, and I will say I've never gone down the route of ayahuasca, but I've explored in terms of what is it and what does that journey look like. I've heard a lot of stories and experiences through it and I think it's such a beautiful thing. But the biggest difference here is that it's not a psychedelic. You're not going to experience something along those lines where you're taking on this journey or quote unquote hallucinating Like you're not experiencing that. It's not a psychedelic and it's this medicine that is here to open up our hearts and I love starting my day with having cacao and being able to integrate whatever it looks like music, or I'll bring out my own shaman drum. It's such a beautiful experience when you can sit in ceremony with cacao, because it just acts like it's the exact same thing as experiencing other plant medicines and it's just such a beautiful, heart-opening medicine. I think that's why I resonate so much with it is because I know that just being this essence of love as well is such a big part of my soul's mission, and that's why I resonate and gravitated towards cacao. It's also such a gentle medicine to work with as well, in the sense of it's gentle and playful, and that's the perspective that I also love to bring.
Speaker 3:When we talk about healing, it doesn't always have to look like where your entire world is crumbling. I genuinely don't think that's what healing always has to be. There are going to be moments where you are literally feeling that crumble and you're releasing and it looks like that, and then there's going to be these beautiful little gentle moments where you could be in a moment where you are simply laughing and something comes through and it gets to be both, and that's the beautiful. Duality is, that we get to experience is both the gentleness and the playfulness, and also the sadness that comes with healing as well. So how?
Speaker 2:is cacao a heart opener.
Speaker 3:That's a good question. I've never been asked that before. I think that it comes down to the essence and the spirit of cacao, right, like every medicine, has its own spirit and its own essence and that, ultimately, is the essence of what cacao is. And aside from the spirituality aspect, having cacao has so many benefits as well. For example, for us as women, it has so much magnesium in it. So when we're on our cycle, when we're on our period and we're bleeding, we are naturally craving chocolate. Why? Because we're naturally knowing our body wants more magnesium. So there's so many different health benefits. I've never been asked that question about how and why it's like that's the essence of the spirit of cacao.
Speaker 2:Okay, that makes sense. I like how you mentioned it's gentle because I have experienced cacao and I have experienced ayahuasca as well. I've experienced mushrooms, I've experienced combo that's not a psychedelic, but I've got the different plant medicine experiences and cacao. I will say it is very gentle. I still notice benefits per se I don't want to say benefits like the plant medicine revelation, because I remember the first time I experienced cacao I didn't even know what I was going into. There was some Reiki and meditation and it was this place I did all these workshops at. I'm like sure whatever, like they'll give them cacao. It's like hot chocolate, I don't know.
Speaker 2:I had such a profound, empowering conversation afterwards and it was such a nice loving conversation. Even my boyfriend was like what did you do? And I was like what do you mean? What did I do? He's like you did something. I'm like I drank cacao and he's like, oh, okay, and now he knew of that and it opened me up so much to like my feelings, my thoughts, but it wasn't overwhelming. It wasn't like mushrooms or ayahuasca, like you don't know when it's going to hit you. You go through the waves. It could come at any moment per se. Wasn't that rush like oh boy, oh shit.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think it has a way of taking you on a journey, especially when you are sitting in ceremony with it. I remember the first time I sat in ceremony with Cacao. I have always had this connection and I feel like it must be kind of more so along the lines of past lives. Both my parents are European, so technically in this lifetime I don't have those roots to First Nations and the Indigenous, but I'm so drawn to the wisdom and the culture. The first time that I sat in ceremony with cacao meditation, not really, because it was more so just like allowing yourself to sit and someone was drumming and anything when you can pair, also pairing cacao and breath work together. So drumming, for example, it's just like this way that it really moves the cacao in your body. And so that first experience during this like meditation, I was in this space where I was watching a man at a powwow and he was just dancing. In this space where I was watching a man at a powwow and he was just dancing and I had so like tears were flowing and I was crying and it was just like this sadness for the fact that, like this culture had been ripped away from this beautiful community and it's just like such a beautiful culture and such beautiful wisdom that lies in the indigenous culture. And then the other part was just I was experiencing so much joy If you just watch someone dance, I don't know what it is, but it's just, there's so much joy in that and so I was experiencing both of it.
Speaker 3:And, yeah, that was my first journey with cacao and it was just meant for me in the sense that there's a way for me to be able to honor this medicine, knowing that it's coming from indigenous, and being able to really honor the indigenous culture and being able to still share cacao with the world. I've become just very mindful of not as a white woman, I don't want to take away from the indigenous culture, and that's where that comes from. And it was a really profound experience for me to almost receive part of this initiation that you can do both. You can share this medicine and honor the indigenous culture and give back to the indigenous culture too. So I think that's the beautiful thing with plant medicine it's going to show you what it's meant to show you and it's going to make sense too, like you're going to know that it's like wisdom that's coming from outside of you.
Speaker 2:That's so true. How long ago did you first experience cacao?
Speaker 3:It was two years ago actually. I was like I'm going to try this and it was right before my sister was getting married and I was kind of apprehensive about her wedding because I was going to be seeing someone that I hadn't seen in a long time and I was like drinking this cup of cacao and as I'm listening to one of my mentors and guides, she's like speak to the cacao. The medicines, these plant medicines are waiting for us to talk to them, to ask them for the support and the guidance. Your guides, your ancestors. They're all here waiting, like literally. I envision them like just hovering around waiting and then when you ask, they're like yes, I can give the guidance. It's like they need the permission slip to be able to like step in. So they stepped in that moment, like I really heard Kakao.
Speaker 3:As soon as I spoke to Kakaacao and I was kind of sharing what I was feeling, all I heard was send her love and I was like that was not me. I don't know what that was, but I know that was not me. I'm going to follow this. And so the jury wasn't really again, like I wasn't really fully in to this journey. I started to explore. I was thinking that maybe I'm going to go sit in ceremony with mushrooms and there was something that was just like it just didn't fit it, just I wasn't fully. Oh yeah, I'm going to do that.
Speaker 3:There was still a little bit of fear or just some sort of apprehension. I don't know what it is, but I was like this is not the right thing yet. And then cacao came back and I was like, okay, here we go. And so I went through this like 16 day deep dive dieta where you're drinking a lot of cacao, and I had that first experience. And then, about a year later, like this year, I did my second dieta and again it's just like this deep, profound experience where you are like connecting with the spirit of cacao every single day, and it's just like I don't know it come again, like I go back to the trust in myself, just coming back to my own innate wisdom.
Speaker 3:I think about connecting with my guides, with my ancestors, with my higher self. That's the team that I need. That's what I need. I don't have to always search outside of myself. Of course, there's going to be beautiful mentors that I'm still going to invest in, but I'm going to know when it feels right. I'm going to know when that's the next step that I need to take, but spending a lot of that time just being able to go within changes things. I don't know how else to not sound cliche. I don't know how else to say that.
Speaker 2:So now I'm curious, in terms of the diet for cacao, is there certain foods you ate, certain foods you didn't eat? Did you do anything different besides cacao all day? Because I did a diet for ayahuasca, and intense it's like. It's like no weed, no sex, no caffeine.
Speaker 3:I'm like okay, very similar. So it's something that my mentor she actually received this guidance from cacao to create this dieta right, and so, yes, there is a lot of that same thing like no sex, no weed, no other, like medicines also, even to like certain prescription medication. That's something that you have to be mindful of too. So there's definitely that portion and so it's kind of split up where you have like three days of no cacao whatsoever and that's actually a period of like a mini silent retreat where you're really not engaging in conversation as much as you can. So even one of the things that I had to do was communicate with my family, like hey, by the way, gonna be off the grid for the next few days, just an FYI.
Speaker 3:Same thing with living with my partner, living with my fiance. I was just like don't ask me questions, that's it. We just need to limit our interactions for now and we're also limiting TV and social media in those first three days. And then you have this week-long period where you're drinking two cups of cacao a day and it's like a very high dose of cacao and it's a lot Like. Sometimes I was not even able to like finish drinking it. It's heavy, it's not easy, it's not pretty, it's not fun, and especially restricting yourself from foods. That's the hardest part is restricting the foods and trying to follow the guidelines. Of the food is sucks, I will say, but totally worth it.
Speaker 2:That makes a lot of sense. That's awesome. So now do you currently, in terms of cacao, do you make cacao? Do you make your own cacao?
Speaker 3:So I purchased it from, actually, one of my mentors. She brings it in from Ecuador and Peru. I don't necessarily make it myself, but that's where a lot of the cacao is from, like Central America and South America. Even in Africa too, there's lots of places where cacao is being grown. There's been a lot of fires, and so a lot of cacao plants have been destroyed, which is interesting as well. There's been talk about supply and demand, like there's just been a lot of that happening with cacao.
Speaker 2:That makes a lot of sense. A place I've gone to a lot of ceremonies at gets theirs from Guatemala. Can you not find cacao, really, in?
Speaker 3:I don't think that's necessarily the case. I think it's just like you want to find, you're going to find cacao in the grocery store. You are going to find it. It's just you're not finding the ceremonial grade cacao, and so realistic difference here is that it's simply the way that it's being processed. When you're buying it from the source, it is processed in just a completely different way, where it's keeping all the nutrients very rich, whereas unfortunately, the other aspects, even if it says cacao and also cocoa, is not cacao. It's not the same thing. Cacao, you will see it in the grocery store, but it's still not the same as ceremonial grade cacao. So if that is something that you want to explore and have cacao, you want to look for ceremonial grade cacao.
Speaker 2:Is there a specific type of ceremonial grade cacao you recommend?
Speaker 3:Yeah, like you'll find it in. What I love, too, is you'll find it in different forms. So there's like paste which almost looks like a bar of chocolate. If you bite it, it's probably going to be super bitter, but then it also comes in a powder, and then actually I'm also drinking a tea form as well. So there's like different options, which I love as well Awesome.
Speaker 2:Now I want to transition a little bit, but we talked about your father and everything with that, but you posted a video on your Instagram about forgiveness. In terms of that, what would you say helped you the most with that forgiveness?
Speaker 3:A piece to the puzzle that see always the puzzle, a piece to this puzzle that I didn't know until fairly recently and I'm kind of forgetting where this insight came through. But I think a big aspect of being able to just forgive my dad I don't know if easier is the word, but getting there was an easier journey was the fact that I had my stepdad in the picture, and I say this from the lens of like he fulfilled this role, from the lens of like he fulfilled this role. He fulfilled this role of the dad that I craved and desired, and it's not to take away from my dad, but I just didn't have that expectation, right? Expectations are very interesting and what they do to us is very funny, right, like expectations is what creates a lot of disappointment, right? We expect people to do things, we expect people to act a different way or a certain way. Our expectations lead to a lot of disappointment and I think it's not to get confused to having boundaries, and having standards is a word that a lot of people would know. It's not to confuse that, because I think that's important to have those boundaries, those standards. But expectations is very different, and I no longer had those expectations from my dad. It didn't mean that I wasn't going to let him be my dad and let him step in into that role, but I didn't have the expectation for him to do that anymore.
Speaker 3:And releasing that expectation, I guess, allowed me in a sense to come to a place where I was able to forgive him. But you know, I had the opportunity where, you know, I physically needed to release the anger and the bitterness that I had. I physically needed to release that from my body and writing just so happened to be one of my methods of doing that. But I think that can look very different for other people. Even through breathwork we release. I physically needed to let all of that anger and resentment and that bitterness go. And so I put it all in a letter and I will say, like it probably wasn't the best written letter, it wasn't from a place of love, wasn't from a place of compassion, it was just like truth, my truth. And I actually sent the letter. I wasn't just like, oh, I'm just gonna okay, now I wrote this on a piece of paper, I'm just gonna like rip this up or burn it. No, I physically gave it to him and it allowed us to have a conversation, but I think I got to a point where I was tired of being angry. I didn't want to be angry anymore. I didn't want that to be my story. I was at that point I was ready to forgive him.
Speaker 3:But also the big piece that I talk about and I don't know necessarily how much people agree with this but I don't necessarily believe in forgive. But don't forget, I've never believed in that. I genuinely think that having my relationship with my dad was because I was able to let go and not hang over his head like, hey, by the way, this is what you did to me. I think that letting go piece is a really big part of forgiveness. You have to be willing to let go. What are you going to do Something the next time an argument happens? Well, this is what you did to me when I was three years old. I just don't resonate like that. That is not from a place of love. That is not who I want to be. I hope that answers your question, because I kind of forgot what it was.
Speaker 2:No, I get that. You've released a lot of anger. It seems like.
Speaker 3:And releasing that. I think those emotions not that they're bad again and not bad emotions we experience them. It's insight, right, but unfortunately I was in that place where I held a lot of it and it really clouds your judgment. It just doesn't allow you to see from a place of love, and so when I was finally able to get to that place, I have so much more compassion towards my dad and also just this curiosity of just well, I just want to know what your story is.
Speaker 3:I don't know what life was like for you when I was three years old. I don't know what was going on in your world, and maybe you just didn't have the tools and you just didn't have the resources. And also that's okay too, because there's been lots of times in my life I'm not perfect, because there's been lots of times in my life I'm not perfect. There's been lots of times in my life where I didn't have the tools, I didn't have the resources and I did things that weren't necessarily true to who I was, or I said the wrong things, I didn't do the right things. Yeah, we all do those things, and I think, just seeing my dad from the lens of a human being rather than like. Well, you were supposed to be my dad and you were supposed to do this. It just allowed me to create a shift and being able to lean more into love than hatred or anger.
Speaker 2:Would you say you were able to forgive in a similar way with your car accident?
Speaker 3:Yeah, like I think it was all part of it.
Speaker 2:How did you release forgiveness with that, or embrace forgiveness, I guess?
Speaker 3:It was all kind of coupled together because I didn't have any conversation with my dad about all that time as a child, of him not being there. I never had any conversation with him until after my accident. So, yeah, it was all coupled together. The accident ended up being that final straw or maybe just the thing that I needed to see. It was that thing that kind of set me into that downward spiral and that moment where healing gets to be this gentleness and playfulness. And then sometimes there are those moments, those moments where there's a lot of darkness, and that was what my life looked like for a good year, because I was so pissed off at the world. I was like why did this happen to me? Why did no one care about me? That's all I saw was just ego. Ego was just like how do people not care about me? It was all ego.
Speaker 3:And then, finally, we all have a choice in terms of what perspective I'm going to look at. Am I going to focus on? I had a choice. Am I going to focus on every single person who didn't pick up the phone to call me to make sure that I was okay, or am I just going to shift where I'm looking and see the people that showed up for me in that moment, and one of the biggest people that showed up for me was my mom. She took me to every single appointment, no matter what it was. She was there, Every appointment, every conversation you know, when insurance gets involved, like all of it, she was there and I didn't always treat her with gratitude you know what I mean and it's just like she became a little bit of my punching bag. And finally there was that wake-up call. There was that time where I was like, holy shit, what am I doing? Why am I going to put all my focus and my energy into again all the people who didn't care? That's kind of a them problem, not a me problem.
Speaker 2:I like that.
Speaker 3:That's a them problem problem, not a you problem there's a lot of magic when you can simply shift your perspective well, I could talk to you all day.
Speaker 3:I could literally talk to you all day, oh my gosh, I agree, it's beautiful when you just have and it's I love and I appreciate the synergy too, and I don't take for granted what it takes for us to get here in this moment, right, like something called you to start a podcast.
Speaker 3:If you didn't, we wouldn't be here in this moment. And it's just so beautiful how we've also had similar experience in the sense of moms raising us, beautiful women raising us and having that relationship with our grandparents. And it's such a beautiful thing when you can look at again like life is a miracle. I know that sounds so freaking cliche, but it is. It really is a miracle. And when you start to see life as that miracle, you start to see life as one big, massive, massive, beautiful ceremony that you're here for. You can look at each day and every single moment and every single experience that you're experiencing in a totally different lens, like from the sense of it has a purpose. The people that you meet, the situations that arise good, bad there's all purpose to it wise, good, bad.
Speaker 2:There's all purpose to it. I love how you said life's a miracle, because you know it's it. As cliche as that may sound, you know, I've actually had a few guys on the podcast who and I've never heard this before, but you know the chances of your chromosome being the one that actually is the one that's here I don't remember what the chances are off the top of my head, but it's very slim. So, and guys really think about that I've had three guys on the podcast tell me, you know, no way, they were the best swimmer that day. Yeah, so it's a miracle that you are actually here. That really is, you know.
Speaker 3:It's funny. I don't think I ever really like.
Speaker 2:I heard that before, but it never really sunk until I started working with women, who I did a lot of work with women at the Studio Press, with the publishing company. We did a lot of books and people who had stories around infertility and I was like shit, life is such a miracle, damn. Yeah I. I spoke to a fertility coach on the podcast and even if you don't have fertility issues, the chances of actually conceiving is. It's like 20 of something. It is low and I was mind blown.
Speaker 3:Even if there's not actual problems, right, but we don't hear that, like we don't. I didn't hear anyone in my family ever talk about the difficulties in getting pregnant. I just never heard of it until being surrounded by women who had that journey and that experience of infertility. And I'm not in a place where I have any kids right now, but it's a path. That's hopefully and this is also why I correct people in my family you know, like, oh my God, you're going to have beautiful kids. Now that I'm very soon to be married, they're oh my God, you're going to have so many kids next to you. And I'm like, hopefully. Hopefully, because I like and I say that from the perspective of simply understanding the lens of people deal with infertility and we just simply don't know. We don't know what has in store for us. And, yes, there are so many different ways to have children, to be a mother. Yes, there's other opportunities, but we don't know, right, and it's just being mindful of the language that we use oh, that is so true.
Speaker 2:The language we use, it, it's everything like the words you say, even if you don't say them, even if you think they are subconsciously affecting you yeah, they're.
Speaker 3:One of the things that was a big learning in my second dieta with Kakao was our words are our prophecy, and I really had to sit with that and I was like, oh my gosh, and one of the things that I was just very mindful of what I was saying out loud about certain people. You know, the simple thing of that person's never going to change. They're always going to be that way. I keep saying that I am never giving them an opportunity to do anything different or for me to even see that they're doing something different, and it really shifted. One of the books that changed my life was the four agreements, and one of the agreements is about your word, and that really sunk in when I read those words. I was like early 20s maybe. Oh my God, like the things I had manifested as simple as relationships. I manifested these relationships through my word and then it was this reminder of how our word is so powerful and it truly is our prophecy, just paying attention to what you say about other people and about yourself.
Speaker 2:I'm curious what made you start a podcast?
Speaker 3:I am obsessed, like obsessed with hearing people's stories. Like I can't even tell you, from like the podcast that I have now, the amount of shows that I have created. Like I started a company called Dreams, incorporated in 2015. This was like my first business, like first experience with business. I had a partner and we created this like YouTube channel and it was called Embrace your Story. So we interviewed people, gave them a platform to share their story. We hosted like one event where, like people are speaking engagement right, we had people come and speak.
Speaker 3:Love it. I don't know what it is, but I am so drawn to hearing people's journeys and stories and I just love being in conversation and I'll be that person that is at a social gathering and is, like, tell me more about your life. I do kind of like reel myself back a little bit sometimes about the depth, like, oh, I just really want to know that person. I'm obsessed with, like people's stories, and I love having these conversations where we can just sit back, peel back, enjoy a cup of coffee, cacao, water whatever it is a tea, and just chat about a topic life, our journeys, our stories because there's so much we can learn when we reflect on our own journey, right, there's so much wisdom there, but then there's so much wisdom we can take when it's like what has it been like to walk a mile in your shoes, right, like it's such a powerful thing.
Speaker 2:I love all your quotes. What has it been like to live a mile in your shoes? No, but I wrote like nobody knows what it's like to walk in your shoes, but what has it been? Okay, like a question, I like that. So okay, dreams incorporated in 2015.
Speaker 3:And how long did you do that for a couple years I would say it was until 2017 I published my book and, yeah, that's when I was like, okay, I think this is the path that I'm gonna go down now, and said I want to be a speaker and ultimately, my path led to me opening my own agency to help people tell their stories, like story is at the center of who I am everything is a story.
Speaker 2:You know, I had a podcast guest say that to me it's at. Every situation, every experience, every thought, everything's a story. You can extract it, you can write it out, you can process, take yourself out of it, because it's just all a story, like you're reading a book yeah, and story is what creates connection.
Speaker 3:Ultimately, at the end of the day, right? If we think about just us in this own experience of kind of going back and sharing our story, well, we created this connection around our upbringings, right, and these similar journeys that we've experienced. So there's going to be similarities and there's also just going to be, like differences, but things that ultimately, like story is going to validate something in you. It's going to make you feel seen, make you feel heard in some way, shape or form, or it's going to teach you, it's going to give you some sort of piece of wisdom that you need to hear. Like story should be incorporated into everything that you do. If you're a business owner, same.
Speaker 2:You're adorable, I agree, oh my gosh. Well, thank you so much. This has been amazing. Oh my God, we're going to need to do this again, because I could really talk to you for another hour and a half, but I'm going to wrap this up. Have you heard of a man named Jay Shetty? I sure have. I love him. I'm going to meet him one day and I'm going to interview him on Mando's Mindset one day. So stay tuned, but until then, he has two ending segments that he incorporates on his podcast. First one is called the Many Sides to Us. There's five questions, and they need to be answered in one word each. Okay, let's do it. Number one what is one word someone who was meeting you for the first time would use to describe you? Love, and you can't repeat these words. Number two what is one word that someone who knows you extremely well would use to describe you as?
Speaker 3:Great. I should have used love for a year, let's say inspiring.
Speaker 2:Okay, what is one word you'd use to describe yourself?
Speaker 3:Intentional.
Speaker 2:What is one word that if someone didn't like you or agree with your mindset would use to describe you? That's a tough one. Say the question again what is one word that if someone didn't like you or agree with your mindset would use to describe you? Maybe cliche. What is one word you're embodying right now? Spirituality? Then the second segment is the final five, and these can be answered in a sentence what is the best advice you've heard or received?
Speaker 3:oh, okay, this is interesting. I'm not getting advice from anyone else, I'm getting my older advice. You know what comes up. The first thing that comes to mind is like living life to the fullest. In the sense I go back to that piece around one day is not a day of the week, that just comes true. So why is that the best piece of advice? Because it's very activating in the sense that it's one of those things where it pushes me to just not wait, not like overthink, not spend time in fear, not waste time overanalyzing, simply being stuck in fear and just going and moving. And ultimately that's what it is right, like that stagnant energy is just where we simmer in, like fear, and hearing that when I'm reminded of like yo, ashley, like one day is not a day of the week, I'm like all right, let's go time, we got to do something, we got to go. None of this like waiting anymore.
Speaker 2:I like that. What is the worst advice you've heard or received?
Speaker 3:Oh okay, this is very business focused, but like niche down, I hate it. It makes me want to vomit. Why is that the worst advice?
Speaker 2:Because you actually like, but we're going to vomit.
Speaker 3:Yeah, seriously, I think, just knowing who I am as someone who's very multi-passionate, telling me to pick. Okay, let me dive into this a little bit more. Pick one thing. People tell me that all the time You've got to pick one thing, I'm like absolutely not. I'm not picking one thing because that feels like I'm cutting off a limb. I can't do that. I can't pick. For example, I can't pick my cacao ceremonies and doing that healing work over helping people write their book or over my podcast. I can't pick one thing. And people tell me that all the time, like, just pick one thing. No, thank you.
Speaker 2:I agree completely. What is something that you used to value that you no longer value?
Speaker 3:It's tough. I feel like I need some inspiration. I'm stumped. I'm stumped on this one. Can we come back to it? Sure, I'm breaking the rules. I'm sorry.
Speaker 2:There are one. Can we come back to it? Sure, and breaking the rules, I'm sorry, there are no rules. Okay, good, if you could describe what you would want your legacy to be as if someone were reading it. What would you want it to say?
Speaker 3:Ooh you trying to make me cry. Yeah, I think about my legacy in the sense of right now. What has been coming through is I think about it from the lens of like one day I'm going to be an ancestor, right, like we think about our ancestors and we think about our guides, and that can look so near in terms of like our grandparents, they are our guides, they are our ancestors, and one day I'm going to be that and I want to be one of those ancestors that are wise, that people feel like they can call upon, that they know we're going to be there. I've never had that come through before, so thank you for that of course, are you ready for the one you used to value?
Speaker 2:oh?
Speaker 3:no, I'm not ready for it. I have no idea what seems to be.
Speaker 2:Oh my god, the last one's pretty hard, but okay, maybe we'll be. If you could create one law in the world that everyone had to follow, what would it be? And I want be and I want to know why. I want to know why.
Speaker 3:Where do you come up with these things? Oh my gosh, this is from.
Speaker 2:James Meddy yeah, he doesn't ask why for the law, but I ask why because I want to know. And I added the whys for the advice. But the rest is him Damn.
Speaker 3:This is tough. Okay, one law somehow feels easier than the value, but I think one law would be you have to have the hard conversations, no matter what. That is because they make us so uncomfortable and there's so much that we can gain for ourselves, but also just the connection and what we can gain for ourselves in being able to have these hard conversations. Right, if I didn't have the hard conversation with my dad, well, who knows where we would be? I think it's in those conversations where we really find our voice and, yeah, that would be my law have the hard conversations.
Speaker 2:Okay, so what is something that you used to value that you no longer value?
Speaker 3:I don't get a pass at all, right? No, we'll use something that you value, maybe by me saying this out loud, maybe you'll make sense of this. But, like, I think one of the things that I valued a lot was taking in information in the sense of reading so many books, or trying to read so many books, or trying to consume, like all these different podcasts, but books feels like the most prevalent right now is just, I used to be such an avid reader and it's just something right now in the season of my life that I'm just not drawn to, which is interesting because obviously I run a publishing company, but I'm just talking about, like, outside of those books, I'm just not called right now to yeah, I just don't value them in the same way, or just looking at it from, like, I want to hear okay, here it is. I think it's the big names, like the big names.
Speaker 3:When I say, like the Tony Robbins, the Marie Forleo, I'm going to use Jay Shetty, sorry, but Jay Shetty, like they're them, they are so beautiful and they have set paths for us and I think right now there's less of a value on hearing their words and instead looking at those that are in it on that same level right now. Right, I'm not putting them on a pedestal, but I'm just saying from the lens of where they're at in their life is not the same as where I'm at in mine. I value hearing stories of your story, those I'm connecting with right now, like those are the stories that I value more right now than these. Quote unquote big names.
Speaker 2:Sorry, you'll find that makes sense. No, I get that completely. It kind of all ties back in like you started on following some of them like on social media to listen more to you, whether that's even like reading the books, the publishing books versus and these big names. Like I've even been listening to less of the big name podcast not that I don't have, though, but it's like even these questions and I heard, and I was like I want to hear what joe schmoe would tell me is the best piece of advice, as opposed to I don't remember who the woman was he was speaking to, but I was like these are, like these are good questions, but like I don't want to hear, like this fan, that's not fancy, but like well known. Like I want to hear what Joe Schmo said, because some of you would not expect.
Speaker 3:Yeah, totally, that's what it is right's like, I think. Unfortunately, there feels like some sort of separation in a way, and it's just again different chapters, chapters in our lives, right, different chapters. And so, yeah, I want to learn from those that don't have those big names.
Speaker 2:I love how you mentioned chapters, like it's the last thing I want to say. I love how you mentioned chapters. That's the last thing I want to say. I love how you mentioned chapters because everybody's in a different chapter of life, even the people that you think are in a very similar season to you. You can't compare your chapter to theirs because it's different. Even if you started the path the same exact way, which nobody fully does. But even if you did like I I had a coach. Compare an analogy to me once. Like, even if you did the same exact exercises and ate the same food, the same amount of water, got the same amount of sleep as someone else, you would not look the same. So you can't compare your journey because it's going to be different, even if you do all the same steps.
Speaker 3:So yeah, I love that.
Speaker 2:Now, is there anything you want to share with the listeners before we close out? I do like to always put it back on the guests, no pressure, but if there's any final words, any words of wisdom you want to share, anything like that anything like that.
Speaker 3:I just want to create that invitation. If you're listening to this and tuning into this and just feeling like overwhelmed or just feeling like you're not really sure, you're not where you are supposed to be and you just feel like you're behind or whatever that story looks like for you right now, just creating that invitation and that space to go inward and also to slow down, if that's what you're feeling called to do, because there is no rush Although yes, like we have said and we talked about, one day is not a day of the week and yes, there's an aspect of go, but that also pertains to there's no better time to slow down than right now either. It's whatever season you're being called. Trust that in yourself If you're feeling called to slow down and just honor that. Really honor yourself is the piece that I want to leave everybody with Really just honor yourself, honor where you're at. That's what you know. You won't ever regret honoring yourself and where you're at and how you're feeling.
Speaker 2:That's beautiful. Thank you so much. I really appreciate you speaking with me, and where can everybody connect with you?
Speaker 3:The best Instagram is by Ashleyann, and then from there you can access podcasts, self-publishing, all that fun stuff and everything.
Speaker 2:Okay, awesome, and I will link that in the show notes so you guys can connect with Ashley directly. And thank you so much. I really appreciate you speaking with me. In case no one told you today, I'm proud of you, I'm booting for you and you got this. I'm proud of you, I'm rooting for you and you got this, as always. If you enjoyed the show, I would really appreciate it if you would leave me a five star rating, leave a review and share it with anyone you think would benefit from this. And don't forget you are only one mindset. Shift away from shifting your life. Thanks guys, until next time.
