Manders Mindset
Hosted by Amanda Russo, The Breathing Goddess, who is a Breathwork Detox Facilitator, Transformative Mindset Coach, and Divorce Paralegal.
Amanda's journey into mindset and empowerment began by working with children in group homes and daycares. She later transitioned to family law, helping people navigate the challenging emotions of divorce. During this time, Amanda also overcame her own weight and health challenges through strength training, meditation, yoga, reiki, and plant medicine.
Amanda also shares her personal journey, detailing how she transformed obstacles into opportunities by adopting a healthier, holistic lifestyle.
Discover practical strategies and inspiring stories that will empower you to break free from limitations and cultivate a mindset geared towards growth and positivity.
Tune in for a fun, friendly, and empowering experience that will help you become the best version of yourself.
Manders Mindset
80: Healing Family Bonds & Overcoming Imposter Syndrome with Davidson Hang
Reconciliation through empathy and courage transformed Davidson's life, even as he battled imposter syndrome and the shadows of intergenerational trauma.
Davidson Hang, a former LinkedIn Account Executive, now successful content creator and imposter syndrome coach, shares a candid conversation about his path of healing and personal growth. Davidson delves into his diverse career path, from working various jobs to securing pivotal roles in tech sales at companies like LinkedIn, and the profound impact these experiences had on his confidence and career trajectory.
Join us as we reflect on the courage it takes to face deeply personal issues.
IN THIS EPISODE, YOU'LL LEARN:
~ Why understanding and empathy are vital components in the journey toward healing.
~ The significant impact of the Landmark Forum
~ The importance of setting boundaries with estranged family members
~ How to release anger and resentment to foster healthier interactions.
~ Practical tips AND exercises to help you move forward whether you're navigating from overcoming career challenges to tackling imposter syndrome.
~ Specific Frameworks to use to overcome imposter syndrome that Davidson uses himself and with his clients.
Join us for an inspiring and transformative conversation that underscores the importance of shifting your mindset to achieve personal growth and fulfillment.
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Welcome to the Manders Mindset Podcast. Here you'll find both monologue and interviews of entrepreneurs, coaches, healers and a variety of other people when your host, amanda Russo, will discuss her own mindset and perspective and her guest's mindset and perspective on the world around us. Manders and her guests will help explain to you how shifting your mindset will shift your life.
Speaker 2:Welcome to Manders Mindset. I'm your host, amita, and I am here today with a really special guest I am so excited to speak with and it's such an interesting synchronicity because Davidson here also has had a lot of jobs, so we connect on that and I am here today with Davidson, who is an imposter syndrome coach. He formerly worked at Layton, he's an author podcast host and he has an amazingly successful YouTube channel. Thank you so much for being here.
Speaker 4:Thanks, amanda. It's awesome. Yeah, that's what's beautiful about podcasting you meet some of the most incredible people like yourself, and it's just so cool to be surrounded by people who are trying to do good in the world, trying to make the world a better place and leaving their legacy. So I'm super excited to be here and, honestly, it takes a lot of consistency and it takes a commitment to done what you've created so far. So I'm happy to be part of the journey and I'm really excited to get to know you better and also get to know your community as well.
Speaker 2:Thank you, so can you? I want to backtrack a little bit before we get into podcasting and content. Can you tell us a little bit about your upbringing, family dynamics, layout of that, any siblings, however deep you want to go with that, but where your foundation is?
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah, I think what we all share in common. Like a lot of folks who are in the self-development world, like you and I and Gina, who we just spoke about, we all have had, let's just say, rough upbringings, right? So for me, I didn't have a father growing up most of my life. He left one day without saying a word and that really messed me up and I made it a mission to you know what like? From that moment on, I had a chip on my shoulders. You know I'll be successful because you know we can, I can make it.
Speaker 4:And so my parents were refugees from the Vietnam War. So when they came here, I didn't realize this going, but from a lot of therapy and a lot of self development, breath work as well, and just a lot of different modalities, I was able to have compassion. Oh, okay, my dad was hit by his father and that's why he was unfaithful and you know he had multiple. My grandfather had multiple mistresses. Needless to say, like long story short, I would say like intergenerational trauma has definitely been affecting me and my two siblings, my two sisters, but because of the healing work that we've done, there's a lot of forgiveness and a lot of compassion and empathy, so it's been interesting about family. It's not easy for everyone is what I have to say about that.
Speaker 2:No, I get that Now. You said your father randomly left for me. Have you seen him since? Have you spoken to him since?
Speaker 4:I reached out to him because I did this program called the Landmark Forum, which is like the self-development community that's pretty well known, I would say, in the healing space, and I called him and I was like shaking when I called him because I was just like I don't know why. I was so afraid to ask him like hey, like what happened? Like why did you leave us? You know, and you know, being a kid like I made it about me so I guess I wasn't good enough for him to stick around for. But he was like me and your mom just did. We were not a good match, like it was not healthy like our relationship. So he at first he was like it was your mom, that's why I left.
Speaker 4:But then part of the making amends portion of the landmark form, which is kind of similar to the 12-step process, I reached out to him and I was like hey, and said what I had to say, respect for me, like when I was like jobless and I was able to contribute to the paying the rent and stuff like that, and he's, that's when I knew I had to leave and I remember being so frustrated and I was like my, my blood was boiling. I was like you're blaming it on like a 12 year old kid come on, dude. But then now, upon just having like compassion, empathy, I was like you know what, I'll take ownership of it. Yeah, okay, I'll be honest, like I did lose respect for you and you know, like we like when he comes out, when he comes over, I'll stay in my place, and stuff like that. But I would say I'm much better at setting boundaries so he doesn't take advantage of us, and stuff like that.
Speaker 2:And I felt what you were saying, I will just say, in terms of calling your dad and feeling like you're shaking. I actually haven't said this on the podcast before, but not all of it. But I didn't meet my father until I was 26 years old and I'm only 27 now, so it wasn't that long ago. I called him out of the blue randomly on a random Tuesday night and I looked his number up on Google and I called him star 67. And I left like a five-minute voice message introducing myself very awkwardly and I was shaking as well and you know it's tough, but it's a courageous thing that you did. And now you mentioned a 12 step process. What is this 12 step process?
Speaker 4:Oh well, I know Alcohol is Anonymous has a 12 step process. I guess I did the landmark version, which is basically there's a self self development program that let's just say. I went off the deep end. It's like a pretty involved. I've done probably like 1000 hours of it. But in that program essentially you make amends with every single person that you've ever had a falling out with, like any disagreement. Anytime there's people that any sort of negative emotion or what I perceive most people perceive like as a negative promotion, I basically called every person I've ever wronged and apologized and owned up to it. That was the most empowering, craziest thing I've ever done and that was over the course of five years, it wasn't one day, but it was calling my ex and being like hey, I'm so sorry, I was horrible, I was unfaithful, can you forgive me? And all of that was insane. But a huge anvil was lifted from my shoulders when I did all that. It was the craziest thing.
Speaker 2:Oh wow, when did you do?
Speaker 4:that I started doing Landmark like 2018. So from 2018 to like last year, so for five years.
Speaker 2:So it was like a five-year process, okay, and now you've made amends with everybody, so you don't have any.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it's crazy, right? My best friend, who was addicted to oxycodone so he would lie to me, had a falling out with this girl who was like my little sis from. I was in Greek life, some fraternity and sorority life, and she had twins and I reached out to her to see what happened Like why do we stop talking to each other? To my ex-girlfriend in college that was being a horrible boyfriend. Essentially my mom, my dad, my sisters, my old bosses, my old co-workers, like pretty much everybody.
Speaker 2:Wait, he. So we're not just like intimate relationships. Old bosses, old co-workers.
Speaker 4:Yeah, crazy.
Speaker 2:And grandparents.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And how were your relationships post you doing that?
Speaker 4:It was good. Surprisingly, everyone was very forgiving. They're like dude, I don't even know what you're talking about. This might be a you thing. Well, obviously, the unfaithfulness part was like you know, obviously. But she was like dude. I'm glad that you told me, because you didn't have to and even though it's 15 years later, like, at least you're man enough to do it eventually, right. And then they're like, yeah, it's cool. And then it's crazy. When they're like, oh, like what? Who was I being that you had to do that, right. And I was like, well, this had nothing to do with you. This is me being an asshole, you know so it's. Even though, like, I tried to own up to it, they were like, how can I own up to my portion of it? I was like whoa, not expecting that that was crazy.
Speaker 2:Oh so they were owning up to their side is that crazy so what did you say? It improved these relationships yeah, with my mom.
Speaker 4:We I wouldn't say we had the best relationship. Like a lot of people they don we had the best relationship. Like a lot of people they don't have the best relationship with their parents right, I was one of them. It was so crazy. I'll never forget this.
Speaker 4:After we did a lot of the making amends part, she kind of told me everything I said as a child that really hurt her feelings to this day. So I gave her the space to let it rip and then I was like, oh, wow, okay, there's a lot here that you're holding on to. So that made her get it off her shoulders, which made her feel a little bit more that we have the relationship that she can say these things and be open about it. And then I remember I was holding on to her and she was crying like a kid.
Speaker 4:She was processing a lot of the trauma that she had from when her place was being bombed during the Vietnam War when she was a little kid, and then her dad died and a lot of her friends died. So it made me finally hear what she was saying, because when growing up she would always be like son, you have no idea how lucky you are compared to communism and Vietnam and stuff like that, and I'd be like, yeah, okay, mom, I've heard this enough, but I was able to hear her Long story short. Yes, our relationships have gotten a lot better. With my wife, my mom, my sisters, we're actually talking about stuff and being honest with each other. Before, we would rather share secrets with our friends instead of within family, because family is tough, but now we're able to be a little bit more open with each other.
Speaker 2:Did you always have a tough relationship with your mom?
Speaker 4:Yeah, I would say so, being a very sensitive dude, I think my moms have unconditional love, right. So it's not that I never thought she didn't love me. I think we all project things onto our kids or people close to us, right? So I think I had a lot of trauma from coming to America and she worked really hard and she does nails for a living, so she helps people with their pedicures and manicures and stuff like that.
Speaker 4:And as a kid diagnosed with ADHD, like I was very forgetful so I would lose my uniform a lot.
Speaker 4:And then she, when she scolded me and was like, oh, like you, you're so ungrateful, blah, blah, blah, like I would take it like very personally. I'd be like, oh my God, like why is she like demoralizing, why does she keep yelling at me, why does she keep telling dad to hit me and stuff like that. So I think I just had a lot of expectations of what a good mom should be like. A good mom should be able to be there for their kids. A good mom isn't supposed to go to Atlantic City and go partying on the weekends. A good mom is, you know, like all these assumptions of what a good mom should be. So because she wasn't meeting my quote unquote expectations. I just automatically judged her and I was like, oh well, she's not a good mom, you know, even though really, now that I'm older, she did the best she could with the resources that she had Very limited resources she had as a single mother raising three rebellious kids.
Speaker 2:Now you said you have two sisters, older, younger.
Speaker 4:So how has that been the oldest boy? Um, you know, it's interesting. I I feel like we're a lot closer now because we all are finally processing a lot of what happened in childhood, when my dad went to jail, and my mom and the whole family dynamics of all the drama of because he's my dad was one out of 13 kids. So, as you can imagine, that's a lot of relationships. So, needless to say that there's a lot of drama when there's that many people involved, and then my relationships with my sisters are a lot better. For sure, like now we can talk about things, but I think most of our lives, a good chunk of our lives, we just didn't talk about, like any of our issues.
Speaker 2:Like we were just, like you know, we all kind of hung out with like our friends and we didn't really prioritize family as much as we do now. Now you said your dad went to jail. You don't mind me asking was he living, you guys, when he went to jail, or was that after he left?
Speaker 4:Yeah, he was living. I think that was kind of like the straw that broke the camel's back right. I think that was like the pivotal point where it's like, oh okay, this is probably not going to work out. I mean, luckily my aunts bailed him out of jail, but let's just say they didn't have the healthiest ways of like recluse styling differences and some of it is also like the traditional eastern philosophies of the Vietnamese traditional where, like the male kind of is supposed to be the breadwinner. So you know, there's just a lot of layers to it. So just having empathy, having compassion, like it, kind of in a weird way, it was good that he left because like they literally would have killed each other, like it was definitely not healthy.
Speaker 4:Yeah, and now he didn't come back no, he hasn't been in our lives for the last 20, so I'm turning 27, so that was like I'm trying 21 years. So yeah, it was bad, dude. I was so angry that I at one point I was just so in my crap and I was like you know what, I wouldn't even go to your funeral. That's how angry I was. But now I'm like, oh, that's crazy. Like just holding on to all that anger, that resentment, is not healthy. So he'll visit us from time to time, but the three of us or the four of us if you include my mom are better at setting boundaries, so we're not letting him take advantage of us or anything like that. So it's good because I feel like we're OK. If this is not a healthy relationship, it's good to set boundaries.
Speaker 2:I think it's important, though, that you said you're not holding on to the anger. That's, honestly, even why I reached out to my father. I had never spoken to him. He didn't even quote unquote, didn't know that he was my father, but it's one of those that everybody in my family has so much resentment towards him for what he did, for not being in my life, for not being better to my mother, and it's just one of those things that I don't want to live my life having hatred towards someone or having that much anger towards someone that's going to affect me internally more than it's even going to affect me. You know, I heard a saying once it's like drinking poison and expecting somebody else to die. I think it was good that you were able to release the ink yeah, I mean it's this is like so crazy.
Speaker 4:He said this, but when I called him he was like, oh, you take your heart broken for you, for me not being your life, like I'm a hundred times more heartbroken and I was just like what, like you have a weird way of showing it, like not calling us like a handful of times throughout those 21 years. I'm like it doesn't make any sense, but that's well, let me. What if I actually listen to what he said and actually I'm able to accept it and actually believe what he's saying? Right, it's like why don't I try that on? So yeah, it's been a journey, as you can tell, and thank you for sharing. I mean, that's courageous what you did and just the compassion and just the ability to see that, because I think it's on.
Speaker 4:I don't want to defend a lot of guys, right, but I'm in a lot of men's work and I have a men's group that I created and all this stuff and I wrote Redefining Masculinity and all this stuff. But I do think men have sometimes a tough job, right. A lot of my guy friends. They are typically either the disciplinary one or the ones that provides financially to the household and I'm like there's a lot of pressure that comes with that, you know, and I think it's we're all humans like we're trying to do the best we we can and no one's perfect, you know. And fathers, I think, have a very negative. It's interesting most of my friends don't have fathers in their lives and it's interesting how attract each other, you know I didn't realize this, that you literally just said that.
Speaker 2:But my closest best friend, who I've been friends with for 25 years oh, probably not. Until I see that I I guess you're right desert drop flight. I'm like speechless over here. I thought that's never been a student, because at first I was like, oh my gosh, none of your friends do either. And then I'm like and as I think further, I can think of other friends too.
Speaker 4:Okay.
Speaker 2:Okay, then. So I want to transition the chat. What was your upbringing? Did you go to college? What was school like for you?
Speaker 4:Yeah, I was not the best student. I almost failed out of college. I went to Rutgers. It was funny because now, like when you're younger, when you're going through it, it feels like everything is such a big deal right In high school. You're like I can't wait to graduate so I can be an adult, go to college. And when you're in college, I can't wait to make money. And then once your guys are like, oh crap, those were like fun years, like I don't know why I was so anxious to get out there and be an adult. So, yeah, I went to Rutgers, had an amazing time.
Speaker 4:I was definitely very popular, I guess you can say I was always bringing people together and I was at a lot of parties. And then I was like, huh, I guess I'm good at bringing people together. So my whole life consisted of being a chameleon and then being able to fit in with almost every group, which is unusual. And I'm like oh, I was being a chameleon. So that's why I feel like it was almost like what's your biggest strength is also your biggest weakness. So, because I was so good at it, I was like who am I Like if I'm not like trying to be someone who's?
Speaker 2:trying to be likable all the time, you know. And now did you graduate college from WordPress?
Speaker 4:Yeah, I graduated and then I got my MBA from St Joseph's in Long Island. I did all these coaching certifications and basically spent like $150,000 on hiring coaches, doing all these certifications, traveling the world and doing all the Tony Robbins landmark next level training summit of greatness all this stuff, but it's been fun.
Speaker 4:And job wise, what did you start doing? Yeah, so it would take the whole podcast. I had 30 different jobs in my lifetime. Maybe you include internships, part-time jobs, summer jobs like waiter you know all these like side hustles. I've had 30 different jobs, mostly revolving like around tech sales, working at companies like LinkedIn, fortune Magazine, udemy, coach Hub, trinet People that are in the HR technology space would probably know about a lot of these companies.
Speaker 2:So did you get into one of these companies right out of college?
Speaker 4:I would say so, the most memorable jobs, I would say. I worked my one of my jobs. So I was a dental assistant when I was in college. That was fun because I was pre dental and I noticed I also love kids, like a common theme was like I was a babysitter, I worked at a preschool, I worked at a daycare, I worked at a pediatric dentist's office, so a lot around working with kids. And then I worked at one of my fraternity brothers was like title search agency. So I would just drive around these courthouses and be able to look up people's deeds and look for liens and make sure that people don't have any liens. So you know, when you buy a home you have to buy title insurance. So I worked for a title insurance company.
Speaker 4:And then my first like Coco big boy job was at CHI, which is like this huge, basically it's like right next to Rutgers where I went to school, and it's I mean now it's I want to say 10,000 employees, but it was like a huge like technology center. That helped me kind of get exposed to all these people that I'm like wow, like you can make a lot of money in tech, just in tech sales. And then I worked at. Yelp was my first. I would say Yelp was probably the first super well-named brand, so I think that helped me get a good resume boost. And then I worked at Experian and Experian is also pretty well-known so I think that helped me be able to get a lot more opportunities. And then I worked at Trinet, which was like the first company that I would say I started making like good money, above average money, and I was like whoa, like all this self-development stuff is helping me have more confidence to be able to make more money.
Speaker 2:Boy, and when did you start working for LinkedIn?
Speaker 4:That was back in 2018, summer of 18, and, yeah, that completely changed the trajectory of my career, because LinkedIn is a pretty well-known company, very highly sought after, like very competitive. It's like kind of getting into Harvard right in the world of tech, right. It's like's like Microsoft, apple, amazon, google and LinkedIn are like the God tier companies and that completely changed my career, because I was surrounded by all of these super ambitious people and I was like whoa, like there's a whole world of people making really good money and that helped me be able to land a lot of very high paying jobs soon after LinkedIn.
Speaker 2:How about? How long will you I?
Speaker 4:was there for a year and a half. It was great. I think that's when I found my confidence. I was leading all these organizations. I was the LinkedIn Asian Alliance leader in New York and then I was volunteering for all these boards, like Cheers for Charity, social Chair I was helping build schools in Africa. And like raising money for all, like Orphan Future Alliance. I think that was probably where I felt the most in flow state, you know, and that helped me be able to have confidence, to be able to interview a lot of people and talk to executives, and that was when I really started making content on a daily basis.
Speaker 2:Okay, so that's when you started making.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I would say that was the most consistent. Like that was when I was like producing a podcast episode, like at least one every week. It was insane. I don't even know how I did. I published like 100 episodes.
Speaker 2:It was crazy so now, when did you start?
Speaker 4:so I went to Lewis Lewis Howell Summit of Greatness, which is where I met Gina, who I introduced you to, so that Lewis Howell's, I would say, was like probably the first podcast I ever listened to was Lewis, because he was pretty high up on the chart. I was like what is this thing called podcasting? And I'm like, wait, you're telling me this guy all he does all day is just interview amazing people and he does that for a living. So I went to his conference back, where I met Gina in 2018, around the same time as when I started LinkedIn. It was like three months after I started linkedin and as soon as I left that conference, like I think my first episode was like at the conference, where I was like, hey guys, like I'm doing a podcast, yeah, let's do it. And then I was just discussing like what I learned the summit, like what were the takeaways, and now I've done over 2 000 youtube videos, so pretty consistent, yeah, what.
Speaker 2:What did you enjoy about our family? Like you enjoyed the woods house event and yeah, I.
Speaker 4:I mean. It's rare to have a deep conversation like we're having you know what I mean even some of my close friends. We're talking about other. We're not talking about our daddy issues and the shared trauma bond of not having a father around, right, that's real stuff. Podcasters are trying to help the world heal or whatever it is we're trying to do. I enjoy podcasting because it gave me an excuse to build a relationship with people and then then, reciprocating to now that I'm on your podcast, I would love to have you on my podcast, right? So it's just like a way for me to introduce you to my community and whoever's listening just be like, oh my God, like I really connected with what she said. I would love to reach out to her and then they probably will and vice versa. So it's just like the ultimate hack for networking.
Speaker 2:No, I love that. The ultimate hack for networking. I love podcasting, so I want to again what I heard you talk and mention something on a podcast and now everybody talks about imposter syndrome. You hear that phrase everywhere. Talks about imposter syndrome. You hear that phrase everywhere, but you mentioned the way to overcome. It is how those three disempowering moments that have effect, and I have never heard anything like that. I have listened to a lot of podcasts on imposter syndrome a lot, because I even feel imposter syndrome with being a podcaster.
Speaker 4:So I would love it if you could elaborate on that, first of all, very impressed that you did all this work. It's very honorable and much respected, so as a fellow podcast nerd, I respect that so much. I put a lot of thought into this. This is clearly something that I've been like how do I communicate this in a way that lands? And I'm glad it sounds like it worked in your case.
Speaker 4:I was like why do I always feel like an imposter, no matter what? Even this year, just starting my own business, I feel like such an imposter, no matter what, even this year, just starting my own business, I feel like such an imposter, leaving like hundreds of thousands of dollars behind to to go on my own and to do this crazy thing called being a content creator. Right, and I found like the common theme was like oh okay, like anytime I'm doing something new that I haven't done, like anytime I'm challenging myself, I'm growing is, I feel, imposter syndrome, but it's all instead of me relating to it, oh, I'm like a fraud, it's oh no, I'm putting myself in the ringer and I'm like purposely going through boot like the boot camp of the world, and that's why I feel really uncomfortable. Ah, that makes sense, okay, so, whether it's, you know, getting a job. That's like first time breaking six figures.
Speaker 4:It's oh man, I feel uncomfortable. Am I going to be able to execute like they're paying me this much? I need to prove, I need to make sure I add value, and then at 150k, and then again at 200k. It never stops. It's like the first book you publish you're like, oh my God, who's gonna read my book? And then five books later, you're still like, oh man, like who's gonna read my book. But I think it never goes away.
Speaker 2:But I guess the framework that I have found that has been very helpful.
Speaker 4:Is that what you're referring to? Just elaborate on the framework. Yeah, yeah, the way I think about it is there's three specific moments in our lives, like one as a child, one as a teenager or one as an adult, that have really messed you up. So I'll use myself as an example, because it's just easier. When I was a child, I got held back from second grade, like who fails second grade? You know like that's embarrassing. So that moment I made a story which is I'm stupid, so I need to prove myself right. Who fails second grade? It's so embarrassing.
Speaker 4:And then, as a teenager, I think what really messed me up was what my dad left, and I made that mean that I'm not even good enough for my own dad to stick around. That means I'm not worthy of being loved or not lovable, right? So from that moment on, my imposter syndrome. The first one was like I suck at life. So then it's every time I get laid off from a job or I don't get the interview, or one of my bosses is like hey, you're probably not going to become a dentist, or my guidance counselor saying you'll never get into dental school, it's like a flashback of the second grade thing. So the second moment how that shows up in pasta syndrome wise is like when I feel like I'm being rejected, like when my dad leaves, like anytime someone leaves me, like oh, my friend leaves, like one of my best friends at a company leaves, and then so I'm like, oh well, why don't I leave the company first, while I'm on the head? So that's how it shows up.
Speaker 4:And then the third moment as an adult that has been the most impactful, I would say, is probably the three layoffs getting laid off, like a bunch of times, and most recently at Fortune Magazine, my first like director of sales position, and I got laid off. So I'm saying these things because, like everyone who's listening, you probably have your version of that right as a child. So just think back to when you're a child, when you're a teenager and when you're an adult, and then you'll see many glimpses of that play out in many aspects of your life. And then, once you realize that, you'll be like, oh, that's why I have imposter syndrome, because I'm still holding on to the false identity. Wow.
Speaker 4:It was through, a lot of the different self-development programs have some version of this. So I was just like, okay, I went to next level training, landmark and then Tony Robbins and I was like, oh, they all have some version of this. Let me make it into my terminology and add a little bit more context in my framework. But it's just a combination of a lot of different people's stuff, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, would you say, our own thoughts tie into our imposter syndrome.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it's interesting, right, because it's whatever we believe is our reality, right? So if my story which this is most of my life and still happens to this day it's I'm a short, unattractive, not smart job hopper who is a horrible son, horrible cousin, bad husband, bad lack of attention to detail, if that's my story and I'm collecting evidence and I'm, of course I'm not going to get the job, of course I'm going to fail, of course I'm going to not put myself out there because I'm like, oh, no one's listening anyways, but it's. But if I like, look at the reality, like just the facts, and it's okay, I was able to publish all these books. I was was able to have almost 19,000 LinkedIn followers. It's like that didn't happen by accident, right? So once I am able to put my imposter and stop collecting evidence, I can start collecting evidence.
Speaker 4:I'm like, oh, actually I am a good friend, I got invited to all these weddings and I went to all these proms and all this stuff, and I'm like, oh, maybe I'm not a loser, you know, but it's interesting because it's like once, one day, I could be like in my self-wallowing and self-pity and I could just collect all the evidence. Oh, this is when your mom said that you were mean to her. This is when your dad said that it's your fault, or I could choose to focus on. Oh, this is when my manager said you have the potential to be like Michael Jordan of our craft and all this stuff. And I'm like, oh, what should I focus more on? Right, and then you know, no one's perfect, but now I try to focus more on the empowering stuff and then that will help me for craft, a better identity versus the first identity I told you, which is what I believe most of my life.
Speaker 2:I really like how you mentioned it didn't happen by accident and I think, even just saying that to ourself in the moment, it will feel an imposter syndrome. Whatever you've done like you've written a book, you've published episodes, whatever it is whether you're working out, you're working on your fitness it didn't happen by accident. You didn't achieve some type of success. You're not to the end of where you want to be. I'm even thinking about that in terms of myself. I had recently been feeling imposter syndrome with the podcast, but when you said it didn't happen by accident, I'm like I didn't accidentally publish six years there's it's a lot of times it didn't happen by accident. So I think even that little reminder to himself he wouldn't have to invite you to the wedding. It's not like they said, hey, you wanna, you want a pizza, like maybe accidentally invite you to the wedding.
Speaker 4:That's not enough, you know yeah, and the cool thing with your podcast thing is like podcasting is cool because it's like forever right, so your episodes will be listened to 60 years from now. That's what's crazy, because all stuff that I published. So I kind of tested podcasting but I didn't. It didn't. I only lasted like 18 episodes and then I stopped and then I went back and then I stopped, so I did start like earlier, I would say 2000,. I would say 2017. And basically what I'm saying is like episodes I published in 2017 are still being listened to like now, like I'll get notifications, and I'm like that's crazy. You know. So to your point. Yeah, I think we tend to be really hard on ourselves. So I think, keep doing what you're doing. It's great.
Speaker 2:Now, outside of realizing, like the three disempowering moments, do you have any suggestions for anybody feeling like an imposter in some area of their life?
Speaker 4:be unlike an imposter in some area of their life. Yeah, the three practices I would recommend that have been the most impactful for me is this is so weird. Like every time I make any of my clients do this, they're like this is weird, I'm uncomfortable. But then afterwards they're like oh my god, everyone said so many nice things about me. So the first one is, without overthinking it, just call up. If you're surrounded by people, you have people that are close to you, like just there are 10 closest people that you can think of. Give them a call and be like hey, I'm doing this. I'm doing like self-inventory. You know what am I? When I walk into a room, what do I bring to the room? And you'll be shocked at the nice things that people will say about you.
Speaker 4:I did this exercise with my sister and her husband lately because, like they're both going through a bit of a tough time right now and even though I've done this exercise for all of my clients, like I did it again just to show them. Like, hey, like you answer for me, just to see what it's like, and I was like blown away by all the nice things they said and I'm like, oh my God, sometimes you do need that need, but sometimes it's helpful to get a reality check from people who know you, because they're usually nicer than you are with yourself. So they're saying all these amazing things like you're inspiring, you're motivational, you have good work ethic, all this stuff, and I'm like whoa, so weird to hear that. So that's the first exercise. The second exercise is called the survival mechanism, which I learned from accomplishment coaching, the year long coaching program I did. This is probably the most powerful exercise out of anything I'll teach you guys on this podcast, which is you write down 15 things that make you angry and 15 things that make you sad and then with that you'll come up with, like when you write that so first write it down on pencil because once we get it out of our heads it's super powerful and then you come up with three like oxymoron, like words.
Speaker 4:So for when I did that exercise, my three survival mechanisms are optimistic, orphan, big hero, no, and judgmental guru, which means, like, when you look for the common themes of those 15 anger and 15 sad things, all of my things I wrote down was about, like, essentially, me being a victim of me, feeling like an orphan, or feeling using optimism as a way of not being able to deal with reality or sadness or anger, using optimism as a way of not being able to deal with reality or sadness or anger. My judgmental was like oh, I'm judging myself, I'm judging others and no one wants to be told what to do, right, like they. Rather like more, more powerful ways to sharing or leading by example, right. And then the last one big hero know is no one wants to be saved, right, being saved as means assuming that people can't fish for themselves, but people are fully capable of taking care of themselves, right? So, long story short, once you go through that exercise, you'll find out what your survival mechanism is, and the oxymoron part is almost like two things that are like clashing against each other. And it's a super powerful exercise. Once you do that exercise, you'll see it show up everywhere in life. Every time you've ever been triggered. You could pinpoint it down to up I'm being judgmental guru up. Oh, that moment is why I feel like an orphan when my dad gave away the puppy. That's why I feel irresponsible. Once you do that, it's super powerful. It's confronting, because people don't like to write down a lot of those things, but very powerful.
Speaker 4:Oh, and the third exercise that is super empowering is and this is also uncomfortable for people but it's like a 360 thing where you just go up to. In my case, I just went up to all my coworkers. Well, I have like 18 of my coworkers and I was like what are my strengths and weaknesses? And that's helpful, because sometimes you are really good at something and you take it for granted, but other people who aren't you are like yo, you're really good at this. I'm like, oh, I guess I am.
Speaker 4:I didn't know that, because for me that's just I'm just being myself. They're like no, like you're really good at that. And then the weaknesses part is helpful because, well, one is, sometimes we all have blind spots, so people will be able to see it, and sometimes that's uncomfortable to be with and you know, if you only hear a couple times, it's okay. You don't have to implement everything, but at least you'll be able to see oh, interesting, and just take it as a data point. That's all. Don't, over course, correct, don't take it too personally, but if you hear from all 18 people, then it's okay. Maybe there's something here no, that makes sense.
Speaker 2:Okay, now would you suggest asking about the strengths and weaknesses to people like in a professional setting? So should it be co-workers? Could it be friends?
Speaker 4:it. It could be both. I would say try to get a little bit of everyone some family, some co-workers, some, you know, your spouse or your kids. I'm definitely someone who's extreme. It could be both. I would say try to get a little bit of everyone some family, some coworkers, some, you know, your spouse or your kids. I'm definitely someone who's extreme. So I think I asked like a hundred people this because I was just like so curious. But it was cool, because sometimes I'm like oh wow, I would never have expected that, because we're so hard on ourselves, you know. So when you hear a lot of these good things, you're like nah, that can't be true.
Speaker 2:But then when you hear the weaknesses, you're like yep, that's true. Oh my gosh, that's funny. Now you, you are such a positive upbeat. Have you always been at this positive?
Speaker 4:so I mentioned optimistic orphan. So what happened was because when we were younger, I moved around, like I lived in like 26 different places, so I just didn't have a lot of stability growing up. I think I had to be, because it was like I was starting fresh right, whether it's starting a new job or moving into a new state. So I think I had to do and, honestly, part of it was because it was like a defense mechanism. I mean, I think now I'm not as false positive, but I'm not gonna lie. There are moments where I'm like, well, if I just pretend that I don't have to pay the bills, like maybe I'll go away, and then I'm like, oh, nevermind, that doesn't work, I'm good.
Speaker 4:But yeah, I try to be positive. Right, because at the end of the day, it's like people and even driving uber like I've driven maybe like 300 people in the last six months and like literally yesterday I drove this woman who her son died and he was only 33 of pneumonia and she was like devastated and I was just like sitting in the like just not trying to be a therapist, but she was unloading all of that and I'm like, oh my God. But I'm just mentioning that because I'm blessed that I don't have anyone close to me that has died of pneumonia and I'm just present to how lucky I am sometimes just even being here with you. I've only done it for six months now, but I'm very proud with you. I've only done it for six months now, but I'm very proud. I've gotten all five stars so far.
Speaker 2:No five, no less so I'm like, yes, what made you decide to start uber?
Speaker 4:I like meeting people, so I uh, I was like huh you get to meet like new people all the time.
Speaker 4:So it's cool because where I live is pretty diverse. So I've driven like folks. I've met folks, learn more about Ghana, panama, like Puerto Rico, dominican Republic, nigeria, greece. It's just cool to be exposed to all that. So for me, it's just. I know some people. That sounds exhausting. They're like yo, I would do that, talking to that many people. But every time I talk to a new person like, hey, I'm live streaming for my YouTube channel. And they're like yo, I would do that, talking to that many people. But every time I talk to a new person, I'm like, hey, I'm live streaming for my YouTube channel. And they're like, oh cool, and they love it. They're like that's awesome man. And then I get a new follower because of that as well.
Speaker 2:Now you transitioned from working corporate to coaching. When did you make that transition?
Speaker 4:So I've been coaching part-time since 2009, but on yeah, the last seven months have been on a more full-time basis. Dude, entrepreneurship is hard and I would, if you're listening to this and you're thinking about it like, definitely make sure and everyone told me this, but I'm the type of person that doesn't like listening to people, so, or I like to learn. The hard way is another way of saying it Make sure you have a year's worth of cushion, I would say, just because then you're able to make smarter decisions. You're not like just taking any client that will give you money right, because, as you know, like not everyone's is a good client But's been rewarding as well, because I've been very fortunate like I've been interviewed on maybe 30 different podcasts since I started to do this more frequently, so that's been cool to be able to meet so many interesting people now what?
Speaker 2:what kind of coaching do you do?
Speaker 4:yeah, it's, a lot of my clients are like asian males, because we all struggle with a lot of the imposter syndrome stuff and like the self-confidence stuff, mostly because, like for the majority of well, I would argue, still today like asian males are typically not viewed as like masculine, right, we're like usually the person getting picked on or the loser or the nerd or whatever.
Speaker 4:So a lot of my clients we all struggle from the same thing, which is essentially just a lack of confidence. So a lot of it is around confidence. And then it's funny because I get a lot of referrals from the spouses or the partners of the guy. So I get referred by their partners like hey, you should, you should talk to davidson, and then that's how some of the coaching happens, because they're like usually they have had daddy issues as well and it's a and then once we kind of work through a lot of that, then they have the space to finally propose or marry their spouse. So I've been very lucky to be able to have contributed in that world as well it's beautiful, though, that they then have the space to move on.
Speaker 2:So now, what made you finally leave? What was your final straw?
Speaker 4:I've always been a bit of a contrarian in a weird way, and honestly, I think I was just burnt out. Like my winning formula which got me here was like, let me just outwork everyone. I'm going to make more dials, make more podcast episodes. I had to perform and I think eventually that really caught up to me and I was just like whoa, like my whole life. I was like trying to be super people pleasing, which is great in the sense that it led me to have a crap ton of followers and like a lot of friends.
Speaker 4:But then I was like you know what? What do I want to do? That's not what everyone else wants me to do. And that's when I like, really the last seven months, I went on like a 16 day solo road trip and then traveled, and then I just did a lot of soul searching solo road trip and then traveled, and then I just did a lot of soul searching and then I'm like, oh okay, this is cool to be able to like just have conversations like this. But yeah, when I was working corporate, it was really hard to do that and not get fired I like how you said what do I want to do?
Speaker 2:that isn't what everybody else wants me to do.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I relate to that For the longest time was 110% sure. I was going to law school, I was going to become a lawyer. I had no fucking desire in life whatsoever. Yeah, and my family still has it in their lives that lawyeral Recept is going to be protecting the whole family and I'm like, yeah, no, not happening. You know. But I think, as we have a more of a realist, you know.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it's. What you do now is arguably like way more impactful, more creative, a lot more healing, like that's great. It's funny because I just started rewatching Suits. It's like the first show I've ever rewatched. I'm like addicted to Suits. Again, it's a good show, though. So I want to transition a little bit and I want to talk about how you've been able to check off so many things off your bucket list. Man, you did some digging around, didn't you?
Speaker 2:You've done a lot of things and I'm related to a lot of things. You're like I'm not going to stay here. And people are like, oh, he's not committed to anything. No, because you know what, if the vision does not align like, good job, you're not going to Bali. And I'm like, listen, you're not. I'm going to Bali, you're not, but go for it. Love that.
Speaker 4:Yeah, no man, that's a great question. I love this question Because I asked maybe about 150 people this question. When I'm doing this on this like 1000 random strangers journey. Like I would just go up to random people and shoot to New York and ask them what's something that no one has ever asked you before that you want people to ask you. So I just realized this is the question that I want people to ask me that no one has ever asked me before. So they Really accomplished. Yeah. So I'm like that's so cool. I think it's to your point.
Speaker 4:It is easier said than done, but it's once we stop caring about what other people think and honestly, some of it is because I had friends that have passed away recently and at a young age. So I'm like man, if I passed away at their age, I would have regrets. What would those regrets be? Solo road trip, let's do a 16-day solo road trip. So I would say it's like all right, let me think back to and some of it I'm not going to lie it's just like okay, what is the most uncomfortable thing for me to do it? For me to do it's all. Writing a book would be super uncomfortable because it would just I would just have so much imposter syndrome around it like, all right, let's do it. And so this book that's coming out this year is like the most vulnerable book, where I'm like talking about all the family drama, the insecurities of being an asian male and failures with women and all this stuff. So it's just like super vulnerable I'm like.
Speaker 4:So to answer your question, it's like all right, let me do what's uncomfortable. But honestly, a lot of it is just being stubborn as well, where I'm like you're not gonna tell me what to do. But I guess it's like a more tactical answer, because I know there's some people who are listening are probably like more thinking folks, because I'm more of a feeler. So I sometimes, when I talk about these things like thinker logical people want more of a feeler. So I sometimes, when I talk about these things like thinker logical people want more of yo. Give me like the formula, give me like, give me the framework, right. So I would say more simply, a vision board has helped. So I'll do vision boards every year before Jan 1, where I'll put all the places I want to go to. So it's, you know, fiji. When I did that, I came true like the Tony Robbins, ultimate University, all these different things like family gatherings, throwing a party at my house, buying a house, getting a Tesla, all these things I put in my vision board. So that has helped a lot and it sounds like you do some of this as well, where visualization has helped.
Speaker 4:So every morning well, I tried I'm not perfect Every morning when I remember I'll do Tony Robbins priming and I'll journal on. Seven things was said, the seven things I journal on, or like what am I grateful about? What am I proud of? How did I add value to someone else who loves me and who do I love? And just to kind of reflect, like what went well and what could have gone better. And those things just helped me get into a better, a more positive mindset.
Speaker 4:And then, having a ton of coaches and a ton of, I try to communicate with everyone most of my goals, because I feel like public accountability helps you be able to. If I'm like, hey guys, my goal is to get a million subscribers, I'm doing it because I don't want to. Well, one, I think it just shows like anything you put in the universe is more likely to happen. And two, like when more people know, like next time they'll see me. Let's say, I say that to you. The next time I see you, like how's that, how's that coming along, you'll, in a weird way, like kind of hold me accountable to it and it's just something to talk about yeah, and I really I like how you mentioned regrets, because I've been like heavy on that theme and I said, like this exact quote, morrison's probably fucking hate it by now.
Speaker 2:But like I say this all the time we're here, then we're not. You know, we all, we've all got to work, gotta do something to make money. It's part of the society that we're in. But at the end of the day, I had a guest say to me once what is going to make you sit on your deathbed at the end of your life and shed a tear because you're so happy with how beautiful it was you going to work every single day is not going to make you say that I'm sorry. No, this is not me telling you to not work at all and get it. It's fucking America, remember, you know.
Speaker 4:Hmm.
Speaker 2:We never know when that day is going to happen. One of my best friends in high school passed away from colon cancer. She was 16 years old and I'll never forget. One of the last things she said to me was all I want to do is graduate high school if she didn't. So that's why I'm talking to you, and you know, it's like none of us are guaranteed to wake up tomorrow. So it's and there's something you really want to do. If you can make it physically, financially, work, fucking do it. Get on the fucking plane, book a ticket and go.
Speaker 4:This is probably the worst advice of what I'm about to say. Even if it's not financially feasible, just freaking do it, Because you'll find a way. And this is from someone who I'm not going to lie. I have a crap ton of debt, but it's like I technically wasn't able to afford Mexico and London and Fiji and Hawaii and Paris and all this stuff. But I'm like you know what, To your point, if I died tomorrow, I would be like, thank God, I went to those places that I wasn't able to afford.
Speaker 2:Here we have the money for this. Where's King? I'll buy a one-way ticket and I just want them back. No, that's literally what I was going to do.
Speaker 4:Quite possibly the worst advice ever, Like disclaimer, but it's true. Right Now you have that experience and no one can take that away from you. So that's beautiful. That's a great lesson.
Speaker 2:Exactly and honestly. Guys like, okay, maybe put some logic in your mindset before you make some crazy rash decision, but it's true, at the end of the day, like none of us are living forever. Yeah, so I don't give a fuck what you believe in religious-wise, afterlife-wise, this fucking one life as Manda Busa right here, right now, I'm living once. So Amen. You know that's what could be wrong. Amen, you know that's a good deal, but I like when you mention the vision boards and the visualizing.
Speaker 4:Do you do a vision board every year? Yeah, and then I also share it with my friends and online because getting humans we're very public creatures. So when I put it out there, it's not to be like, oh, I'm so cool like creatures. So when I put it out there, it's not to be like, oh, I'm so cool, but it's just like the more people know about it.
Speaker 4:Either, whether it's subconscious or not, I want it to happen and sometimes people can help, right, if my vision board is like, hey, I'm running an ultra marathon, and then all of my ultra marathon friends would reach out to me and be like, oh, this is. Do you want to do a race together? So that part is cool too, because all of my CrossFit goals, like a lot of these more fitness goals, was because, like, I put it out there and then my friends would help me because they'd be like, oh, I saw that you wanted to run like a half marathon. Like you want to do one. Like, next, I'm doing this one. I'm like, oh, yeah, let's do it be haters. But at the end of the day there'll be more people that would be like, damn, that's cool. And then they'll be like oh, you inspired me to do a vision board, and then they'll show me their vision board.
Speaker 2:I'm like oh, now, when you make these vision boards so like your pictures on them, do you get them from online, from magazines? What are the?
Speaker 4:pictures or the images. Yeah, there's a lot of. I've done a bunch of different ones. Some people like the magazines because like the old school and like people, like the arts and craft of doing that and that's like more creative, like a little bit more artsy. I would say I've done a combination of like printing out like the hotels and the resorts that I want to stay at, like in different countries. So I'll usually screenshot or I'll download it and put it on google slides, um, and then sometimes I'll buy like a big poster board and then I'll like just put it on there, or, but usually it's either it's like my background on my phone or, um, I just I print it out and then I can see it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so that's helpful. Now I've made a vision board with early February and it's interesting because I'm looking at it right now, but it's the first time I've ever made one with like magazines and I did it at this retreat I was hosting Breathwork at and I had so many water images and now I like actually accepted a job in Florida, had it in my head, I was moving to Florida. There's going to be a paralegal down there. I didn't end up moving to Florida and it's really interesting to me because one of the pictures like in this I have no idea where these actual bodies of water are, but one of them looks almost identical to in this. I have no idea where these actual bodies of water are, but one of them looks almost identical to a body of water I saw in Bali.
Speaker 4:That's crazy. Exactly right. It's hard to explain, but it just works.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, and I had trees on my vision board in a bed. I had a book on there that said I'm not dead now what? Maybe that was symbolizing Bali. I had a book on there that said I'm not dead now what Maybe that was symbolizing Bali. I don't remember, but I like, how you mentioned, visualize as well. That's something I do every morning at the start of the day. What do you like to be? You know, like your reality. Have you heard of a man named Mike Dooley? No, he's like this spiritual guru guy. I'm probably not going to describe him well at all. He he's a New York Times bestselling author. He created something called Notes from the Universe and it's like email thread that he sends out and he talks about he emphasizes about thoughts becoming things. He was in the movie the Secret.
Speaker 2:I've learned a lot from him, but he's somebody that I really learned about the power of visualizing to create what we want our reality to be and he's somebody that said something that was really powerful to me, because I did a workshop I don't remember which workshop it was and he talked about how so many people say to him what if I'm not sure what I want? My reality, you of your way, you know, if you can't imagine, maybe you don't know. And he had a really great suggestion. He said just imagine yourself super joyful, you're super happy, you're super elated. It doesn't have to be for a reason. You're smiling, you're jumping up and down and just visualize that, and you know. He also said you don't want to do it for too long, because if you do it for too long, your mind's going to start to wander and not visualize Every morning.
Speaker 2:I do it for four minutes and 44 seconds.
Speaker 4:Yeah, that's. I mean, I'm looking at his stuff. I think I would love his books. This sounds amazing. This is incredible. So Tony Robbins, his priminging is it's like usually 11 minutes, and what he does is it's two minutes of visualizing, like gratitude, so what you know, think back to when you were like most grateful, and then, and then two minutes of like happy slash, like sexy moments or romantic moments, you know, with your partner, whoever else, and then Tony does a good job, and then you're feeling the emotion and then it's cool when he does that and I always get, it wakes me up. Well, this is amazing. It's just to your point. It gets you into a good state of mind.
Speaker 2:Yeah, wow, well, I love everything we've talked about. Thank you so much for speaking with me.
Speaker 4:I really appreciate it I just said, thank you so much for the opportunity, really appreciate the like. Clearly, like you, did a ton of research, which is always like anyone who's on the other side. It's such a privilege to to be able to have someone that cares enough to see what the other person is about and, yeah, we went pretty deep, so I'm excited to share this with my community as well, and I would love to have you back on the podcast again, because I really think there's so much more we could shout out.
Speaker 2:Right, but have you heard of a band named Jay Shelly?
Speaker 4:Oh, I love Jay Shelly. He's like my favorite.
Speaker 2:I love him. I love him. Not going to lie, I get a little when people say no, well, they thought I'm like. Well, what, you don't fucking know what. Anyway, you probably know he's got a podcast called on purpose and I haven't heard every episode, so I don't know if he ends every episode with this, but he ends most of his episodes with two segments, and I've started in court the first one is the many sides to us, and there's five questions that need to be answered in one word each.
Speaker 2:Okay, number one what is one word? Someone who was meeting you for the first time would describe you as Positive. Number two what is one word that someone who knows you extremely well would use to describe you as?
Speaker 4:Funny.
Speaker 2:Number three what is one word you'd use to describe yourself?
Speaker 4:Affectionate.
Speaker 2:Number four what is one word that, if someone didn't like you or agree with your mindset, would you describe yourself?
Speaker 4:Is job hopper a word Hopper, I guess.
Speaker 2:What is one word that you're embodying right now?
Speaker 4:Gratitude.
Speaker 2:Then the second segment is the final five, and these can be answered in a sentence. Number one what is the best advice you've heard or received?
Speaker 4:I like what we said today about even if you can't afford it, just go for it. It's the best and the worst advice ever, because, to your point, you'll figure out a way. Right, if it's truly something you care about, you'll find a way, yeah.
Speaker 2:I believe that you know and there's a lot of jobs out there, guys. Number two what is the worst advice?
Speaker 4:you've heard or received. Oh man, I think the worst advice is to do it. Just do it, because I would say, just do it for the money. I would say it's like usually like bad advice, because if it's something that you really don't care about, like you don't give a rat's ass about, it's not gonna last I agree with that honestly, that it's not gonna last in some way.
Speaker 2:Even different people I've spoken to and random boys on the podcast who are not meant to be in this job, but they accepted the job, the money, the benefits were good and then the company didn't like them and let them go, Like random little things, you know.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 2:The energy ain't right. The energy ain't right, so you know. Number three what is something that you used to value that you no longer value?
Speaker 4:oh, that's a great question. I would say I I used to value reading a lot of books. I've read like maybe 600 books in my lifetime and now I would rather implement the things instead of continuously consuming more.
Speaker 2:It's okay, why don't I integrate and apply it now, you know if you could describe what you would want your legacy to be, as if someone was reading it, what would you want it to say?
Speaker 4:I think a good summary would be, like he really cared.
Speaker 2:If you could create one law in the world that everyone had to follow, what would it be?
Speaker 4:Oh, that's a good one. The law would be, and it sounds. This almost sounds like a Bible verse. And it sounds I mean, this almost sounds like a Bible verse, but it's never judge thy neighbor, or something like that. It's just, we never know what someone's going through. Usually, when I judge someone else, I'm projecting my own insecurities onto that person, so just being 100% responsible for that. And the reason why is because some of the folks who I never thought I would ever be friends with once, I actually let down my judgment and I got to know them. I'm like this person is amazing and then we end up becoming close friends. That's what's crazy about life. So why did I even like judge this person? It's so weird.
Speaker 2:Now I've got one more question for you from me, not from jay shetty, but if you happen to have the attention of the whole world for five minutes, what would you say? Five minutes okay I mean you speak for five minutes. I want to take you that literal, okay. So if you want to buy all me, yeah, I love this question.
Speaker 4:This is such a good question, very tough it would be. Simply, the order that I would share is don't be afraid to invest in coaching, slash meditation, slash breath work, slash like self-development, for instance. Once we are comfortable with ourselves, once we are able to be with ourselves, we'll grow a lot. So I would say always invest in yourself. The biggest investment you can make is within yourself. Two would be double down on the healing work. I think the more we heal, the more we have better relationships in our lives, because then we're not trying to fix people, we're not projecting our own stuff in our lives, because then we're not trying to fix people, we're not projecting our own stuff, and then you'll attract like a much cooler, like just good energy, and then that good vibes out there you'll you'll get a lot of opportunities that will come your way. Number three is everyone should have a side hustle, like what you're doing right now or the project that they're super passionate about, because life is just so much better, because you're leaving your legacy more intentionally right. So I would say that. Actually, I would say the fourth one. The last one is I think everyone should write a book, like having a book is so cathartic and it's such a good healing process, because then you're just putting everything out there and then there's no shame because you're just like wow, like like this is my stamp or this is like my lesson, whatever it is that you want to share with the world. So it's been a pretty cool experience to do that.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I'm all over social media, so you can search my name, davidson Hang. In the order of the most active, I would say it's like YouTube. Linkedin In the order of the most active. I would say it's like YouTube, linkedin, facebook, instagram and TikTok, and then Twitter is not as active, but I'm pretty active on all those and, yeah, I love meeting people. Thank you so much for reaching out, if you do. Thank you so much for speaking with me Awesome. Thank you so much and do you prefer Amanda or Manders Amanda?
Speaker 2:There's a lot of people calling me amanda, but I prefer me well.
Speaker 4:Thank you so much, manners. This has been truly a privilege and it's been awesome connecting with you, and I'm just so happy to be a part of it, and I I look forward to many more interesting interactions with you.
Speaker 2:I do as well, and thank you, guys, for tuning in, in case no one told you today.
Speaker 3:I'm proud of you, I'm rooting for you and you got this, as always. If you enjoyed the show, I would really appreciate it if you would leave me a five star rating, leave a review and share it with anyone you think would benefit from this. And don't forget you are only one mindset. Shift away from shifting your life. Thanks, guys, until next time.
